And our first question goes to Senator Kerry. Sir, your spending plans will cost over a trillion dollars. Your combined tax plans will cost $500 billion. How are you going to balance the budget?
KERRY Bob, I’m glad you asked me that question, but before I dodge it I’d like to thank you for moderating this debate, I’d like to thank Arizona State University for being such wonderful hosts and I’d like to thank Dick Cheney’s daughter for being a lesbian – in case anybody didn’t know.
Bob, as you know, this nation is on the brink of an apocalyptic catastrophe. Civilization as we know it is hanging on by a thread. Our culture has collapsed, our economy is in tatters, the human spirit is extinguished, children never laugh, God is dead, and families like Dick Cheney’s are ashamed of their daughters, one of whom is a lesbian. All of this is because of George Bush.
Did you know that right here in Arizona the average share of the national debt on a per capita basis is rising faster than the inverse of the median lost wages ratio of the typical swing voter in Ohio, Missouri and Florida combined?
Bob, when I’m president, we’re going to have a president as gloomy as this country should be. But the difference is that I have a plan to balance the budget. In fact I have seven plans. Seven and a half if you count the one I was working on in the limo, not even counting subclauses. When I’m president, our country is going to marry a really rich country, which will pay for everything. Thank you.
SCHIEFFER Mr. President?
BUSH You need a plan. I know that. I’m president. I wake up every day looking for a plan. In fact, I supported Mitch McConnell’s plan. But my opponent voted to raise taxes 1,500 gazillion bazillion times. He even voted for some of my budgets, which have created deficits as far as the eye can see! He’s a liberal!
The first thing we need to do is cut back. I’m not going to have a flu shot this year. I’m not even going to take a Tylenol. I’m going to have a root canal right here on this stage without Novocain. But we also need to declare an international war on deficits.
I’m excited about 19-year-old girls in Afghanistan who are voting in favor of the line-item veto for the first time ever. I’m excited about the millions of Iraqis who have been liberated from Saddam’s Hussein’s trial lawyers and their frivolous lawsuits.
SCHIEFFER According to the prearranged rules of this debate, each candidate will now have two minutes to spew forth sentimental blather in order to connect with the American people.
KERRY Thank you Bob. I’m a Catholic. I was an altar boy. In Nativity plays I was usually cast as one of the posts holding up the manger. I know that a lot of people are tired of politicians who just tell them what they want to hear. America, I want to look you in the eye and pledge I will never pander to you.
Spirituality is important to me. I’ve always felt that we humans are insignificant maggots scuttling across the muck of the universe, and that life itself is just a meaningless moment of agony between the suffocating stench of the womb and the foul decay of the grave.
SCHIEFFER Thanks for that uplifting message. Mr. President?
BUSH America, we’ve been through a lot together. Imagine how bad things would be if I’d made any mistakes. But we’ve come through it.
We haven’t enforced the Dred Scott decision. And what about my timber company? Can you believe the networks? Oh, never mind. Do you want some wood? How late does this go, anyway? I’m losing it.
SCHIEFFER As I was driving in tonight one thing occurred to me: All three of us are surrounded by strong women. What the hell are we doing up here? Why aren’t they running the country?
KERRY Bob, it’s true that I am married. She’s my second wife, to be precise. Can’t recall her name at the moment, but she’s fully funded. And I’ve got two beautiful daughters. Heterosexuals, both of them.
I want to tell you about my family unit and what it means to me. We’re in the 79th percentile in most demographic categories. Our compatibility fitness score is within the standard deviation for median households worldwide. …
Why did the British never allow themselves to become dependent on just two flu major flu vaccine suppliers like the Americans did? According to health experts, they did this in case the current Chiron flu vaccine crisis happened – to make sure the nation’s people were not left in a vulnerable position.
Last August UK officials, with the same information the US officials had, decided something had to be done in case the Chiron supplies, 14% of UK supplies, went belly up. The US officials decided to believe Chiron and gamble 48% of their supplies on an assurance that everything would turn out fine despite some worrying set backs.
When October 5th arrived, the British authorities pulled the plug on the Chiron, Liverpool, supplies. US authorities were caught out – nothing had been done in advance, the country had allowed itself to get into this situation.
Even without this crisis, the UK authorities have always had a situation where they can fall back on six or seven suppliers that have been pre-approved by UK authorities. The US, on the other hand, only has two – one of which has let them down. Had the US had more pre-approved suppliers, had the US started to do something about this problem last August when alarm bells were ringing, had the US…….? This is what many Americans are now starting to ask.
The American Health Dept saw no reason last August to do anything, says their spokesman Tony Jewell. Americans hear him and ask, so why did the British have a reason, you both worked on the same information, didn’t you?
America’s only other supplier, Aventis, may have upped supplies if they had been asked in advance – say last August – said an Aventis spokesman. But no one from the US approached them on this matter, not till after Oct 5.
In a nutshell, one country that was 14% dependent did something early on while another that was 48% dependent did nothing.
Instead of reprimands or dismissals, one general tied to the torture and abuses at Abu Ghraib prison will probably receive a promotion and another has been recommended for a new command position. At the same time, both US corporations with direct ties to the abuse scandal have been rewarded with lucrative contracts valued in the hundreds of millions of dollars.
Secretary of Defense Donald Rumsfeld and General Richard Myers, the chairman of the Joint Chiefs of Staff, want to promote Lieutenant General Ricardo Sanchez, the former commanding general of US troops in Iraq, according to “senior defense officials” who spoke to the Los Angeles Times. Investigators have cited Sanchez for creating an environment that contributed to the torture of Iraqis at Abu Ghraib.
A fourth star for Sanchez might not come until after the November 2 presidential election, however, because the general is what one source termed politically “radioactive” right now due to his role in the prison abuse and torture scandal. If President Bush is re-elected, Rumsfeld, Myers and other top officials at the Pentagon will reportedly push aggressively for Sanchez’s promotion.
Meanwhile, the Army’s chief of intelligence said this week that he thinks Major General Barbara Fast, formerly the chief military intelligence officer in Iraq, should be put in command of the Army’s intelligence school in Arizona. Lieutenant General Keith Alexander told reporters Friday he has “great confidence” in Fast’s ability to supervise the training of Army interrogators. The same investigation that cited Sanchez also blamed Fast for failing to properly monitor activities by CIA interrogators at Abu Ghraib.
In the private sector, the US government has awarded lucrative contracts to security technology and mercenary contracting firms tied to the Abu Ghraib scandal by General Antonio Taguba’s investigation.
CACI International, which provides interrogators to supplement the US Army’s intelligence and counterintelligence operations in Iraq, revealed last week that it has obtained contracts valued at $266 million.
That announcement came less than a month after the US Army awarded a six-month “bridging contract” worth as much as $400 million to Titan Corp, the San Diego-based security firm also tied to the Abu Ghraib abuses. That contract will likely keep Titan’s force of over 4,000 translators working in Iraq until September 2005.
Later last month, Titan landed a National Security Agency deal that will rope the publicly traded defense giant another $300 million. On October 1 Titan scored a five-year “indefinite-delivery, indefinit-quantity multiple-award” technical contract from the US Navy valued at over $1 billion. To continue the streak, on Thursday the Navy awarded Titan a separate five-year contract worth $109 million.
During the home stretch of the Northamerican elections, Osama bin Laden could prove to be the ace in the sleeve of president Bush. As we speak, Washington is negotiating a highly secretive agreement with Beijing, the Chinese capital, for the eviction of bin Laden from his sanctuary in the turbulent Muslim provinces of China, in the Northwest of the Great Wall nation.
More than five million people, many of them fanatic followers of Osama, live in that region, which can be called one of the most volatile regions of Earth. Thousands of them work for the mafias who specialize in the trafficking of humans and drugs to the West. Last summer, Bin Laden sealed an agreement with the authorities in Beijing, in which he was granted asylum in return for his guarantees that the guerilla war of the Muslim Chinese against the Chinese nation would end.
Over the years, tens of thousands of troops of the Popular Liberation Armee had been sent to the region with the intent to squash the insurgents.
Since the arrival of the Saudi Osama Bin Laden, the region has been relatively quiet, and the Muslims who live there are allowed to continue their trafficking of humans and drugs.
However, Bin Laden could now see himself trapped in his refuge, if an extraordinary agreement between Beijing and Washington would come to pass, in which China would hand over to the United States the most wanted terrorist in the world.
If you didn’t see this coming, raise your hand.
The preference for Coke versus Pepsi is not only a matter for the tongue to decide, Samuel McClure and his colleagues have found. Brain scans of people tasting the soft drinks reveal that knowing which drink they’re tasting affects their preference and activates memory-related brain regions that recall cultural influences. Thus, say the researchers, they have shown neurologically how a culturally based brand image influences a behavioral choice.
These choices are affected by perception, wrote the researchers, because “there are visual images and marketing messages that have insinuated themselves into the nervous systems of humans that consume the drinks.”
Even though scientists have long believed that such cultural messages affect taste perception, there had been no direct neural probes to test the effect, wrote the researchers. Findings about the effects of such cultural information on the brain have important medical implications, they wrote.
“There is literally a growing crisis in obesity, type II diabetes, and all their sequelae that result directly from or are exacerbated by overconsumption of calories. It is now strongly suspected that one major culprit is sugared colas,” they wrote.
Besides the health implications of studying soft drink preference, the researchers decided to use Coke and Pepsi because– even though the two drinks are nearly identical chemically and physically–people routinely strongly favor one over the other. Thus, the two soft drinks made excellent subjects for rigorous experimental studies.
When I see them in the river — the 40-foot, olive-green boats — all I can think of is Apocalypse Now. When, I wondered, would Captain Willard climb aboard and motor up the Mekong Delta on his way to terminate Colonel Kurtz’s command with “extreme prejudice.”
The surroundings even smacked of the cinematic version of Vietnam, muddy river banks broken up with patches of stiff, thin reeds, fisherman in small wooden boats plumbing the opaque green waters for tonight’s meal.
But this is obviously a long way from that war zone. Twenty-nine years and a few thousand miles. We are on the banks of the Euphrates River in Iskandaria, Iraq. In moments we will be pushing off into a steady current and an uncommonly serene Iraqi dusk.
The FBI wants to know who checked out a book from a small library about Osama Bin Laden. But the library isn’t giving out names, saying the government has no business knowing what their patrons read.
The library in Deming isn’t much larger than a family home. Located in rural Whatcom County, it hardly seems the site for a showdown with the feds.
“I think we all figure it’s places like the New York Library System that’s going to be one of the first we hear about,” said the attorney for the Whatcom County Library System, Deborra Garret.
At the center of the issue, a book titled “Bin Laden: The Man Who Declared War on America.”
The FBI confiscated the original book after a patron reported than some one hand wrote a bin Laden quote in the margin that read: “Let history be witness I am a criminal.”
The FBI demanded to know the names and addresses of everyone who ever checked out the book.
“Libraries are a haven where people should be able to seek whatever information they want to pursue without any threat of government intervention,” said Director of Whatcom County Library System, Joan Airoldi.
Because of privacy policies, the library does not give out circulation records without a court order. When the FBI got a grand jury subpoena, the library filed a motion to quash it — citing the rights of all people who use the library.
“Like the right to read and to read the material of one’s choice without fear that someone will come around with questions about why you chose that book,” said Garrett.
The FBI withdrew the subpoena, reserving the right to file it again.
A spokeswoman for the U.S. Attorney’s office says they are not permitted to discuss anything that involves the grand jury.
If the feds had demanded the records under the Patriot Act, the library would have had to hand them over without question and without help from the courts.
The FBI still has the bin Laden book.
Librarians point out, it’s overdue.
Sony sent a bullying shut-down notice to Retropod, a website selling hand-made iPod cases made out of recycled Sport Walkman housings. Hey, fuck you too, Sony.
Sony recently learned that you are selling a case for carrying an iPod personal stereo that is made from a WALKMAN tape player. The product is being offered at your website at www.retropod.com.
Your use of casings for such a purpose is a clear infringement of the SONY and WALKMAN marks because it is deceptive. Consumers likely will be misled and deceived into believing that Sony is somehow connected with the iPod personal stereo when in fact it is not. Moreover, they will be misled into thinking that Sony is backward in its design of products and is going away from miniaturization, as the size of the tape player housing is quite large by today’s standards.
Accordingly, we demand on behalf of Sony that you immediately cease and desist from selling, or offering to sell or distributing your Retropod product…”
First Dick Cheney said that supporting John Kerry could lead to another terrorist attack.
Then Dennis Hastert said Al Qaeda would be more successful under a Kerry presidency than under President Bush.
Now the Catholic bishops have upped the ante, indicating that voting for a candidate with Mr. Kerry’s policies could lead to eternal damnation.
You exposed RatherGate by proving the CBS documents were fake — nice work! But now the liberals have found a bunch more documents so our work is not done. Let’s get to work proving that these are fake, too!
Bush Daughters’ Possession of Alcohol
It must be fake: This is clearly a liberal media snow job on these poor girls.
Are there any other fake documents we are missing? Please send them to us so we can post them on this site for conservative bloggers to debunk.
Now here’s something I didn’t know about US Elections. Apparently you can buy “advertising” in favor or against a Measure in a “Voters’ Pamphlet”.
One “M. Dennis Moore” apparently shelled out $1,500 to reserve the first three slots for arguments in favor of Measure 36, the proposed constitutional amendment banning gay marriage in Oregon, for no other reason than to mercilessly parody every bible-thumping ad that would follow.
At least two-thirds of our miseries spring from human stupidity, human malice and those great motivators and justifiers of malice and stupidity: idealism, dogmatism and proselytizing zeal on behalf of religous or political ideas.
Aldous Huxley (1894 – 1963)