[Quote:]

Remember Deep Impact � that global disaster movie from the 1990′s when the world’s finest astronauts embarked on a suicide mission to save mankind from a comet heading straight for Earth? Now, imagine if the producers introduced a new twist to the plot: besides the comet, NASA is pitted against a Russian astrologist who sues the space agency because destroying a comet would irrevocably harm her “system of spiritual values”.

Well, we’re not in the direct trajectory of a comet (not yet anyway), but a Deep Impact mission is underway, with a NASA spacecraft scheduled to collide with the Tempel-1 comet on July 4, perhaps blasting it to smithereens. That’s right, it’s Independence Day.

Now, the last thing NASA expected was a lawsuit from Russia.

But Russian astrologist Marina Bai gave it a try, and, according to her lawyer Alexander Molokhov, it looks like she may just pull it off. In a lawsuit she filed last month with the Presnensky district court in Moscow, Bai is demanding that NASA call off its $311 million operation, with the spacecraft already in its cruise phase. She also wants 8.7 billion rubles (the ruble equivalent of the entire cost of the mission) in compensation for moral damages.

“The actions of NASA infringe upon my system of spiritual and life values, in particular on the values of every element of creation, upon the unacceptability of barbarically interfering with the natural life of the universe, and the violation of the natural balance of the Universe,” Bai said in her claim.

I notice the US Army is following the great example their Commander In Chief is setting.

[Quote:]

A pregnant 13-year-old girl in Florida has been told she cannot have an abortion because she lacks the maturity to make such a decision.

A state court granted an injunction which prevents the girl from terminating her pregnancy.

She is three months pregnant and had planned to have an abortion on Tuesday of this week.

The American Civil Liberties Union says it will launch an urgent appeal against the ruling.

Florida’s department of children and families intervened and took the matter to court, arguing the teenager, who is under the care of the state, is too young and immature to make an informed medical decision. Judge Ronald Alvarez in Palm Beach accepted that argument and has granted a temporary injunction and psychological evaluation, which effectively blocks her from terminating the pregnancy.

It is a case which, once again, plays into the heated and divisive debate about abortion in America.

The judge’s ruling comes in spite of Florida state law which specifically does not require a minor to seek parental consent before an abortion.

Damn activist judges!

The cluetrain has hardly left the station.

[Quote:]

Rather than expand into untapped creative markets, Adobe seems hell-bent on expanding into the jerks-wearing-suits market, a market that’s completely at odds with the creative market they’ve dominated for nearly two decades.

Adobe’s best and core products are their oldest, and they are graphics products: PostScript, the Adobe Type Library, Illustrator, and Photoshop. InDesign is relatively new but genuinely fits alongside these products. This is why Adobe’s core customers – who still use and love many of their products – are dismayed and confused by the company’s direction in recent years. But is it any surprise that a company that is run by jerks-wearing-suits is now targeting the jerks-wearing-suits software market?

Them modern intarwebs are mighty nifty. Here’s where my new iBook is hanging out:

[Quote:]

The Bush administration has been pressing the Chinese government for years to allow its currency, which is pegged to the dollar, to trade more freely. It got its wish on Friday – but only for 20 minutes.

A freely trading Chinese yuan would probably rise in value against the dollar, making Chinese exports to the United States more costly. That, in turn, would give relief to American manufacturers battered by low-priced Chinese goods as the American trade deficit has been growing faster with China than with any other country. It would also be a political victory for the Bush administration.

Until this afternoon, China had ignored the demands. But as traders drifted back to their desks from lunch in Asian financial capitals on Friday, the yuan suddenly broke out of its prescribed trading range. No one knows for sure if the move was deliberate or a result of a technical glitch.

But regardless of whether it was a Chinese test of their ability to manage a rising yuan or simply a case of the Chinese central bank briefly failing to buy enough dollars to keep supporting the American currency, traders noticed it and the prices for many other currencies began to shift in response.

The yuan climbed until it took 8.270 of them to buy a dollar instead of the usual 8.276. That difference, of only six thousandths of a yuan, might not seem like much of a change.

But it came on the eve of a weeklong holiday in China and at a time of intense speculation that a Chinese revaluation of the currency, which has been fixed by Beijing against the dollar for years, might be imminent. The brief appreciation, a hint of further rises if the yuan were to float, was enough to roil currency markets around the world.

The dollar fell and the euro, yen and gold rose as investors placed bets that if China let the yuan rise against the dollar, other countries would also permit their currencies to appreciate against the dollar because their exporters would no longer be so fearful of being undercut by Chinese rivals.

[Quote:]

A call about a possible weapon at a middle school prompted police to put armed officers on rooftops, close nearby streets and lock down the school. All over a giant burrito.

Someone called authorities Thursday after seeing a boy carrying something long and wrapped into Marshall Junior High.

The drama ended two hours later when the suspicious item was identified as a 30-inch burrito filled with steak, guacamole, lettuce, salsa and jalapenos and wrapped inside tin foil and a white T-shirt.

“I didn’t know whether to laugh or cry,” school Principal Diana Russell said.

State police, Clovis police and the Curry County Sheriff’s Department arrived at the school shortly after 8:30 a.m. They searched the premises and determined there was no immediate danger.

In the meantime, more than 30 parents, alerted by a radio report, descended on the school. Visibly shaken, they gathered around in a semi-circle, straining their necks, awaiting news.

“There needs to be security before the kids walk through the door,” said Heather Black, whose son attends the school.

After the lockdown was lifted but before the burrito was identified as the culprit, parents pulled 75 students out of school, Russell said.

Russell said the mystery was solved after she brought everyone in the school together in the auditorium to explain what was going on.

“The kid was sitting there as I’m describing this (report of a student with a suspicious package) and he’s thinking, ‘Oh, my gosh, they’re talking about my burrito.’”

Afterward, eighth-grader Michael Morrissey approached her.

“He said, ‘I think I’m the person they saw,’” Russell said.

The burrito was part of Morrissey’s extra-credit assignment to create commercial advertising for a product.

LeeAnn Warren (L) comforts her friend Ashleigh Pfister, as they look at the medals her husband, Army Spc. Jacob Pfister, was awarded during funeral services outside St. Vincent de Paul Church in North Evans, New York, on April 29, 2005. Also pictured are Amy McGregor (second R), the mother of Jacob, and sister Monica Morrisey. Army Spc. Jacob M. Pfister died April 19 when a suicide car bomber hit their squadron near Baghdad, also killing a fellow soldier from Pennsylvania and injuring four. Pfister, 27, a Buffalo-area native was on his second tour of duty. REUTERS/Gary Wiepert

[Quote:]

Het aantal tegenstemmers bij het referendum over de Europese grondwet neemt toe. Als het referendum nu zou worden gehouden, zegt 32 procent “nee” tegen de EU-constitutie. Twee weken geleden was 19 procent van de stemmers nog tegen. Het percentage voorstanders slinkt al een paar weken en ligt nu op 30 procent.

Hetzelfde effect zag je in Frankrijk. Zodra mensen inhoudelijk horen wat er gaat gebeuren, worden ze “tegen”.

[The Register reports...]

Here’s something quite sinister for armchair conspiracy theorists: it appears that US prez George Bush has final approval on the the UK version of Google Maps and has decided to redesign the world in a way that more adequately reflects his own particular vision.

As reader Mike Clark explains:

If you visit http://maps.google.co.uk you’ll start off with a map showing the southern part of the UK. Zoom out to maximum distance using the slider on the left, and then pan around to see a unique world view that would warm Dubya’s cockles…

That’s right. In Google’s Brave New World, potential threats to US national security have been neutralised by airbrushing them from the surface of the globe. Naturally, the UK survives the apocalypse by virtue of its “special relationship” with the US:

We were initially baffled as to why Central America and several Caribbean islands – including Cuba – have been spared. Then it dawned on us: the former is vital to the US economy as the supplier of orange-picking, dish-washing immigrants; the latter an essential justification for the continued existence of the US weapons development programme. After all, if you haven’t got at least one cigar-puffing Commie building an enormous underground chemical weapons plant, then what’s the point of spending $8m on research into ground-penetrating nukes?

Components include: (1) PC screens; (2) printers; (3) industrial lights; (4) satellite dishes; (5) computer mice; (6) toasters; (7) vacuum cleaners; (8) heaters; (9) washing machines; (10) microwaves

[Quote:]

A three-tonne humanoid figure made out of electronic waste is being unveiled on London’s South Bank.

To illustrate the size of the e-waste problem, the Royal Society of Arts (RSA) has built the sculpture, which weighs three tonnes and stands seven metres tall.

It is made up of the average quantity of WEEE (Waste Electrical and Electronic Equipment) an individual disposes of in a lifetime, including five fridges, 12 kettles and 35 mobile phones.

A European Union WEEE directive is expected to be introduced in the UK in early 2006, which makes producers of consumer electronics responsible for the recycling and disposal of goods returned to them at the end of their life.

Its implementation was delayed by the government because it requires a lot of communication between local authorities, councils and the technology industry.

The RSA hopes the striking figure on the South Bank will raise public awareness of WEEE and prompt consumers, retailers, designers and manufacturers to focus on recycling, reuse, repair, refurbishment, and sustainable manufacturing.

[Quote:]

Een tikfoutje in een e-mailadres maakt de net afgestudeerde negendejaars rechtenstudent Reinder Eekhof uit Utrecht tot de risee van de Nederlandse advocatuur.

Zijn elektronische sollicitatiebrief is van hand tot hand gegaan onder duizenden juristen, voorzien van genadeloos commentaar: ‘Succes met je carriere, Eekhof!’

Het in studentikoze taal geschreven bericht was eigenlijk bestemd voor een vriend die advocaat is bij Houthoff Buruma in Amsterdam. Eekhof tikte echter een letter van het e-mailadres verkeerd in. Daardoor kwam het bericht terecht bij de personeelsmanager van Houthoff Buruma.

[..]

De personeelsmanager vond zijn verhaal zo grappig dat ze het doorstuurde naar een aantal werknemers van Houthoff. Die stuurden het op hun beurt naar bevriende juristen overal in Nederland. Binnen 24 uur verspreidde het zich door het hele Nederlandse bedrijfsleven. Duizenden juristen lachten. Eekhof baalt.

[Quote:]

-----Original Message-----
From: Reinder Eekhof [mailto:R.Eekhof@nl.tiscali.com]
Sent: dinsdag 5 april 2005 9:30
To: Stam, Marjolijn
Subject: Holadioo

Ha die Stampert!!

Alles lekker, sluwe advocaat? Hier alles best. Ik heb net eindelijk een punt gezet achter die fuckstudie, dus helaas is het moment aangebroken om iemand te vinden die gek genoeg is om mij elke maand een koffer geld in mijn schoot te werpen. Hoewel ik mij na het mislukken van Plan Stam/Eekhof advocaten gedesillusioneerd heb afgewend van de juridische praktijk, is het tijdens mijn scriptie auteursrecht toch weer gaan kriebelen. Bovendien had ik een 9 voor het werkje, wat mij natuurlijk ook de indruk gaf niet geheel van talent gespeend te zijn. Nu zag ik bij jullie mooie bazen een vacature Intellectueel Eigendom. Is die er nog, dat jij weet? ik vind nl. eigenlijk geen enkel ander rechtsgebied echt interessant, dus als ik de steven tot de advocatuur wend, moet het wel iets met IE zijn.

Mochten jullie nog op zoek zijn, dan moet ik misschien één dezer dagen eens een brief in elkaar vlammen!

Met vriendelijke groet,

Reinder Eekstra

[Quote:]

A state department report which showed an increase in terrorism incidents around the world in 2004 was altered to strip it of its pessimistic statistics, it emerged yesterday.

The country-by-country report, Patterns of Global Terrorism, has come out every year since 1986, accompanied by statistical tables.

This year’s edition showed a big increase, from 172 significant terrorist attacks in 2003 to 655 in 2004.

Much of the increase took place in Iraq, contradicting recent Pentagon claims that the insurgency there is waning.

Condoleezza Rice, the secretary of state, ordered the report to be withdrawn and a new one issued minus the statistics.

[Quote:]

The Sumo Tube is a new, exciting, and challenging freestyle towable that is not connected to the boat. The rider slides into the Sumo suit and holds on to a grab handle on the end of a 60′ rope. The rider can roll 360s from left to right, jump the wakes, steer left and right by moving their arms, or just glide across the water’s surface. It’s a fast and fun bodysurfing thrill ride. The Sumo Tube can also be used in the crashing waves as a body surfing tube. The Sumo tube is one chamber and inflates quickly.

[Quote:]

Two women who gave their life savings to an apocalyptic religious group say they are victims of fraud.

Now, Kaziah Hancock and Cindy Stewart took their lawsuit against The True and Living Church of Jesus Christ of Saints of The Last Days to the Utah Court of Appeals.

They claim the church failed to make good on promises that the women get land and see Christ in return for their money.

Stewart turned over her life savings to the church. Hancock sold her farm and gave the church the proceeds.

In return, church leader Jim Harmston allegedly promised the women membership in the “Church of the Firstborn,” that they would see Christ face-to-face, and be given land.

An attorney for Harmston argued that the promises are rooted in church doctrine, not a business contract.

But an attorney representing the women says Harmston and the church should not be allowed to create a “religious cocoon” to protect themselves.

[Quote:]

Opera’s CEO, Jon S. von Tetzchner heroically saved the life of his PR Manager in a dramatic development this morning when “Phantom”, the company inflatable raft, was punctured off the coast of southern Norway. Rumors circulate about possible sabotage, but it may just have been the raft’s poor condition that resulted in its complete breakdown as Jon and his helper started on day 2 of their transatlantic swim.

I’m glad there are still companies around with a sense of humor…

As most regular readers know, I have quite an opinion on advertising and marketing. Most people who know me personally also know I can be quite vocal about it.

To summarize: I don’t think advertising on a weblog can make you any money. So I had an argument with somebody who disagreed with me. Since there’s only one way to find out, there will be google ads in the right column for the next three months.

After that, I will have won, or lost, a bet.

Click on them, block them, ignore them, whatever. Just do what you normally do with advertising. It’ll make the bet more realistic if you behave as if never posted this…

and I had to install a new browser on my machine to test it – all my regular browsers block advertising, and didn’t show the google ads at all. go figure.

A Woman was out golfing one day when she hit the ball into the woods. She went into the woods to look for it and found a frog in a trap. The frog said to her, “If you release me from this trap, I will grant you three wishes.” The woman freed the frog, and the frog said, “Thank you, but I failed to mention that there was a condition to your wishes. Whatever you wish for, your husband will get times ten!” The woman said, “That’s okay.”

For her first wish, she wanted to be the most beautiful woman in the world. The frog warned her, “You do realise that this wish will also make your husband the most handsome man in the world, an Adonis whom women will flock to.” The woman replied, “That’s okay, because I will be the most beautiful woman and he will have eyes only for me.” So, KAZAM-she’s the most beautiful woman in the world!

For her second wish, she wanted to be the richest woman in the world. The frog said, “That will make your husband the richest man in the world and he will be ten times richer than you.” The woman said, “That’s okay, because what’s mine is his and what’s his is mine.” So, KAZAM-she’s the richest woman in the world!

The frog then inquired about her third wish, and she answered, “I’d like a mild heart attack.”

Moral of the story: Women are clever. Don’t mess with them!

Attention female readers: This is the end of the joke for you. Stop here and continue feeling good. Male readers ONLY: Please scroll down.

The man had a heart attack ten times milder than his wife!!! Moral of the story: Women aren’t as clever as they think they are! Let them continue to think that way and just enjoy the show!

PS: If you are a woman and are still reading this it only goes to show you never bloody listen!

soms heb je in een posting aan de titel al genoeg…

I hope the people behind Huh? get tasked to implement more creative satirical web e-solutions. I’d look forward to out-checking some of their deliverables.

Usually I just quote a paragraph or two, but this time I find the whole thread fascinating…

[Quote:]

A firestorm of controversy recently erupted when Thomas Knoll of Adobe accused Nikon of encrypting the white balance data in the D2X and D2Hs cameras, thus preventing Adobe from fully supporting these cameras.

I cracked this encryption on April 15, and updated dcraw.c and parse.c on April 17. So “dcraw -w” now works correctly with all Nikon cameras.

This is not a new problem. Phase One, Sony, Foveon, and Canon all apply some form of encryption to their RAW files. Dcraw decodes them all — you can easily find decryption code by searching for the ^ operator.

Compression is not encryption. Phase One and Sony do encryption only. Kodak does compression only. Canon, Nikon, and Foveon compress the image data and encrypt some of the metadata.

What? They use XOR and call it encryption? Wow.

[Quote:]

Het land Nederlandse Antillen wordt uiterlijk per juli 2007 opgeheven. Dat zijn afgevaardigden van Curaçao, Sint Maarten, Saba en Bonaire overeengekomen tijdens een tweedaagse conferentie over de staatkundige toekomst in Philipsburg (Sint Maarten).

De delegatie van Sint Eustatius weigerde op het laatste moment het slotdocument te ondertekenen en heeft de vergadering verlaten. De bewoners van het eiland spraken zich eerder deze maand in grote meerderheid uit voor behoud van de Antillen.

De overige eilanden hebben afgesproken dat Curaçao en Sint Maarten in 2007 hun status aparte krijgen. Bonaire en Saba worden koninkrijkseiland. De bewoners van de eilanden hebben zich daar eerder in referenda voor uitgesproken.

[Quote:]

Premier Balkenende beticht tegenstanders van de Europese grondwet ervan dat zij onwaarheden verkondigen over de Europese Unie en de grondwet. Hij schrijft dat donderdag in een lange ingezonden brief in De Telegraaf.

Zo is het volgens Balkenende “onwaar” dat de grondwet de deur open zet voor toetreding van Turkije tot de Europese Unie. De premier is van mening dat de tegenstanders van de constitutie “alles uit de kast” halen om draagvlak te vinden voor hun verzet.

Er is Balkenende veel aan gelegen om tegengas te geven. Opiniepeilingen maken duidelijk dat Nederland de grondwet nog niet omarmt. Op 1 juni kan Nederland zich in een referendum uitspreken over de grondwet.

In zijn brief somt Balkenende een aantal voordelen op van de EU en de grondwet. Zo schrijft de premier dat de grondwet de basis legt voor een betere samenwerking in de EU, zonder dat Brussel meer macht krijgt. Hij noemt het onwaar dat de grondwet zou leiden tot hogere defensie-uitgaven en dat hij slecht zou zijn voor het welzijn van dieren.

Balkje, als je dit weblog hebt gelezen (yeah, right) weet je dat ik een tegenstander ben. Het doet me deugd om te zien dat al mijn argumenten om tegen te stemmen niet door jou aangevallen worden met een “onwaar!” Kennelijk heb ik gelijk?

[Quote:]

Elite Force Aviator: George W. Bush – U.S. President and Naval Aviator – 12″ Action Figure

Price: $39.99
Sale Price: $19.99
Savings: $20.00 (50%)

Yes folks, that’s a saving of 20 Dollars…….
How the mighty are fallen….