[Quote:]

Iraq’s proposed constitution — and the process used to draft it — have deepened the divide among Iraq’s factions and will likely trigger civil war unless changes are negotiated quickly to accommodate the concerns of Sunni Muslims, warned a new report by the International Crisis Group.

The report comes less than three weeks before an Oct. 15 referendum on Iraq’s proposed constitution. The ICG calls on the Bush administration to engage in a “last-ditch, determined effort” to broker a compromise among the country’s three largest ethnic and religious groups.

“Unless the flaws of its draft constitution can be corrected in the next few weeks before the Iraqi people vote on it, Iraq is likely to slide toward full-scale civil war and the break-up of the country,” says the ICG, an independent, nonprofit nongovernmental organization working to resolve conflict in 50 countries on four continents.

The group charges that the constitution was rushed, which cost the process any possibility of consensus. Critical parts of the constitution — notably on the federal arrangements that will decentralize power — are also so vague that they already “carry the seeds of future discord,” the report says.

[Quote:]

For decades, scientists and sea explorers have mounted costly expeditions to hunt down and photograph the giant squid, a legendary monster with eyes the size of dinner plates and a nightmarish tangle of tentacles lined with long rows of sucker pads.

The goal has been to learn more about a bizarre creature of no little fame – Jules Verne’s attacked a submarine and Peter Benchley’s ate children – that in real life has stubbornly refused to give up its secrets.

While giant squid have been snagged in fishing nets and dead or dying ones have washed ashore, expeditions have repeatedly failed to photograph a live one in its natural habitat, the inky depths of the sea. But today two Japanese scientists, Tsunemi Kubodera and Kyoichi Mori, report in a leading British biological journal that they have made the world’s first observations of a giant squid in the wild.

[Quote:]

It is a highly addictive drug, but governments everywhere encourage its use

Gerin oil (or Geriniol to give it its scientific name) is a powerful drug which acts directly on the central nervous system to produce a range of characteristic symptoms, often of an antisocial or self- damaging nature. If administered chronically in childhood, Gerin oil can permanently modify the brain to produce adult disorders, including dangerous delusions which have proved very hard to treat. The four doomed flights of 11th September were, in a very real sense, Gerin oil trips: all 19 of the hijackers were high on the drug at the time. Historically, Geriniol intoxication was responsible for atrocities such as the Salem witch hunts and the massacres of native South Americans by conquistadores. Gerin oil fuelled most of the wars of the European middle ages and, in more recent times, the carnage that attended the partitioning of the Indian subcontinent and, on a smaller scale, Ireland.

Gerin oil addiction can drive previously sane individuals to run away from a normally fulfilled human life and retreat to closed communities from which all but confirmed addicts are excluded. These communities are nearly always limited to one sex, and they vigorously, often obsessively, forbid sexual activity. Indeed, a tendency towards agonised sexual prohibition emerges as a drably recurring theme amid all the colourful variations of Gerin oil symptomatology. Gerin oil does not seem to reduce the libido per se, but it frequently leads to a prurient desire to interfere with, and preferably reduce, the sexual pleasure of others. A current example is the horror with which Gerin oil users view homosexuality, even when expressed in long-term loving relationships.

Gerin oil in strong doses can be hallucinogenic. Hardcore mainliners may hear voices in their heads, or see illusions which seem to the sufferers so real that they often succeed in persuading others of their reality. An individual who reports high-grade hallucinogenic experiences may be venerated, and even followed as some kind of leader, by others who regard themselves as less fortunate. Such following-pathology can long postdate the leader’s death, and may expand into bizarre psychedelia such as the cannibalistic fantasy of “drinking the blood and eating the flesh” of the leader.

More of this article by Richard Dawkins…

[Quote:]

RELIGIOUS belief can cause damage to a society, contributing towards high murder rates, abortion, sexual promiscuity and suicide, according to research published today.

According to the study, belief in and worship of God are not only unnecessary for a healthy society but may actually contribute to social problems.

The study counters the view of believers that religion is necessary to provide the moral and ethical foundations of a healthy society.

It compares the social peformance of relatively secular countries, such as Britain, with the US, where the majority believes in a creator rather than the theory of evolution. Many conservative evangelicals in the US consider Darwinism to be a social evil, believing that it inspires atheism and amorality.

Many liberal Christians and believers of other faiths hold that religious belief is socially beneficial, believing that it helps to lower rates of violent crime, murder, suicide, sexual promiscuity and abortion. The benefits of religious belief to a society have been described as its “spiritual capital�?. But the study claims that the devotion of many in the US may actually contribute to its ills.

The paper, published in the Journal of Religion and Society, a US academic journal, reports: “Many Americans agree that their churchgoing nation is an exceptional, God-blessed, shining city on the hill that stands as an impressive example for an increasingly sceptical world.

“In general, higher rates of belief in and worship of a creator correlate with higher rates of homicide, juvenile and early adult mortality, STD infection rates, teen pregnancy and abortion in the prosperous democracies.

“The United States is almost always the most dysfunctional of the developing democracies, sometimes spectacularly so.�?

“Listen, sir, somebody wants to nitpick a man’s tragic loss of a mother because she was abandoned in a nursing home? Are you kidding? What kind of sick mind, what kind of black-hearted people want to nitpick a man’s mother’s death? They just buried Eva last week. I was there at the wake. Are you kidding me? That wasn’t a box of Cheerios they buried last week.”

Click on the picture to play the video
Quicktime Video 6.6 8’16

[Quote:]

Eavesdroppers armed with a shotgun microphone or a small recording device could make off with a computer user’s sensitive documents and data, three university researchers said in a paper released this week.

The researchers, from the University of California at Berkeley, found that a 10-minute recording of a person typing at the keyboard reveals enough information for a computer analysis to recover nearly 90 per cent of the words entered. The recording can be low quality – the researchers used a $10 microphone – and the system does not need previous samples of a user’s typing to perform the analysis. Moreover, the technique can frequently guess a person’s password in as little as 20 attempts.

“Primarily this is a message to the security community saying we need to change our thinking on authentication,” said Doug Tygar, a professor of computer science and information management at UC Berkeley and the principal investigator of the study. “This is not very exotic attack in that the equipment used is dirt cheap and the software is readily available.”

[Quote:]

The power of the Christian right rests largely in the fact that they boldly claim religious authority, and by their very boldness convince the rest of us that they must know what they’re talking about. They’re like the guy who gives you directions with such loud confidence that you drive on even though the road appears to be turning into a faint, rutted track. But their theology is appealing for another reason too: it coincides with what we want to believe. How nice it would be if Jesus had declared that our income was ours to keep, instead of insisting that we had to share. How satisfying it would be if we were supposed to hate our enemies. Religious conservatives will always have a comparatively easy sell.

But straight is the path and narrow is the way. The gospel is too radical for any culture larger than the Amish to ever come close to realizing; in demanding a departure from selfishness it conflicts with all our current desires. Even the first time around, judging by the reaction, the Gospels were pretty unwelcome news to an awful lot of people. There is not going to be a modern-day return to the church of the early believers, holding all things in common—that’s not what I’m talking about. Taking seriously the actual message of Jesus, though, should serve at least to moderate the greed and violence that mark this culture. It’s hard to imagine a con much more audacious than making Christ the front man for a program of tax cuts for the rich or war in Iraq. If some modest part of the 85 percent of us who are Christians woke up to that fact, then the world might change.

[Quote:]

County Judge Carl Griffith said today he has become so frustrated with the federal relief effort that he has instructed all local officials to use police force if they have to to take supplies from the Federal Emergency Management Agency.

[Quote:]

The Justice Department’s inspector general and the F.B.I. are looking into the demotion of a veteran federal prosecutor whose reassignment nearly three years ago shut down a criminal investigation of the Washington lobbyist Jack Abramoff, current and former department officials report.

They said investigators had questioned whether the demotion of the prosecutor, Frederick A. Black, in November 2002 was related to his alert to Justice Department officials days earlier that he was investigating Mr. Abramoff. The lobbyist is a major Republican Party fund-raiser and a close friend of several Congressional leaders.

Colleagues said the demotion of Mr. Black, the acting United States attorney in Guam, and a subsequent order barring him from pursuing public corruption cases brought an end to his inquiry into Mr. Abramoff’s lobbying work for some Guam judges.

[..]

Mr. Abramoff, once one of the capital’s best-paid lobbyists, is now the subject of a broad corruption investigation by federal prosecutors in Washington focusing on accusations that he defrauded Indian tribes and their gambling operations out of millions of dollars in lobbying fees.

A spokesman for Mr. Abramoff said he had “no recollection of being investigated in Guam in 2002″ but would have cooperated if he had been aware of any inquiry at the time. Mr. Abramoff had a lucrative lobbying practice on Guam and the neighboring Northern Mariana Islands, another American territory; his lobbying clients paid for luxurious trips to the islands for several members of Congress.

Justice Department officials said they knew of no evidence to suggest that Mr. Ashcroft was involved in the decision to reassign Mr. Black. A spokesman for Mr. Ashcroft said the former attorney general and his aides at the Justice Department had done nothing to assist Mr. Abramoff and his clients and had had no significant contact with him.

[Quote:]

The rumors are true this time. I was arrested in front of the White House today. It was my first time ever being arrested.

[..]

Being arrested is not a big deal. We were arrested for “demonstrating without a permit.”

[..]

The fine for Demonstrating Without a Permit is $75.00. I am certain that I won’t pay it. My court date is November 16th. Any lawyers out there want to help me challenge an unconstitutional law??

Any military commander who is honest with himself, or with those he is speaking to, will admit that he has made mistakes in the application of military power. He’s killed people – unnecessarily. His own troops or other troops. Through mistakes, through errors of judgement. A hundred, or a thousand, or ten thousand, maybe even a hundred thousand. But he hasn’t destroyed nations.

And the conventional wisdom is: don’t make the same mistake twice. Learn from your mistakes. And we all do. Maybe we make the mistake three times, but hopefully not four or five.

They’ll be no learning period with nuclear weapons. Make one mistake and you’re going to destroy nations.

– Robert McNamara

[22 year ago, yesterday, Lieutenant Colonel Stanislav Petrov averted a potential nuclear war by refusing to accept that the United States had launched missiles against the USSR, despite the indications given by his computerized early warning systems. The Soviet computer reports were later shown to have been in error, and Petrov is credited with preventing World War III and the devastation of much of the Earth by nuclear weapons. Because of military secrecy and international policy, Petrov’s actions were kept secret until 1998.

And fire, snake, human, wolf, sponge, tree, air, water, dragon, devil, lightning, gun.

[Quote:]

When Congress agreed this spring to tighten the bankruptcy laws and crack down on consumers who took on debt irresponsibly, no one had the victims of Hurricane Katrina in mind.

But four weeks after New Orleans flooded and tens of thousands of other residents of the Gulf Coast also lost their homes and livelihoods, a stricter new personal bankruptcy law scheduled to take effect on Oct. 17 is likely to deliver another blow to those dislocated by the storm.

The law was intended to keep individuals from taking on debts they had no intention of paying off. But many once-solvent Katrina victims are likely to be caught up in the net intended to catch deadbeats.

Right after Hurricane Katrina struck, several lawmakers – mostly Democrats but including some Senate Republicans – suggested that storm victims along the Gulf Coast should get relief from the new law’s stricter provisions, which are intended to screen filers by income and make those with higher incomes repay their debts over several years. Under the old law, which remains in effect until mid-October, many more filers can have their debts canceled quickly in federal bankruptcy courts.

But House Republicans, who fought off a proposed amendment that would have made bankruptcy filings easier for victims of natural disasters, said there was no reason to carve out a broad exemption just because of the storm.

Representative F. James Sensenbrenner Jr. of Wisconsin, the chairman of the House Judiciary Committee, rejected the notion of reopening the legislation, saying it already included provisions that would ensure that people left “down and out” by the storm would still be able to shed most of their debts. Lawmakers who lost the long fight over the law, he said, “ought to get over it,” according to The Associated Press.

Compassionate Conservatism: Get Over It!

[Quote:]

By January, about 80 cardiologists nationwide completed an evaluation run by the Guidant Corporation of one of its products, an improved electrical component, known as a lead, that connects an implanted cardiac device to the heart.

In exchange for implanting the lead in three patients and completing five survey forms, each physician received $1,000 from Guidant.

“The primary purpose of the study was to get feedback on how well the system worked,” said Dr. Wayne O. Adkisson, a cardiologist in Portsmouth, Va., who took part.

The program did generate feedback. But internal Guidant documents and e-mail messages provided to The New York Times suggest that the initiative also had another apparent goal – increasing sales of the company’s most sophisticated and expensive heart devices. Those devices are advanced pacemakers called cardiac resynchronization therapy devices, or C.R.T.’s. They cost about $29,000 each.

The program proved so successful in increasing Guidant C.R.T. sales that when the survey ended in January, company executives sent around congratulatory e-mail messages, the records show. “It generated 300+ implants,” one January e-mail message stated. “Let’s say that just 25% were incremental … that yields >$2 million in new sales with physicians who are not necessarily Guidant friendly. We paid each physician who completed all five surveys $1,000 so our total cost was $80,000.”

So, when your doctor tells you you need an implant – does that mean you nede an implant, or does your docter need the bonus?

[Quote:]

It turns out that former FEMA director Michael Brown is being retained by the agency as a “consultant.”

Brown was on the Hill today to speak with staff at a special House committee in preparation for his testimony at a Tuesday hearing on Katrina. In the session, Brown said that he was working as a consultant “to provide a review” of Katrina preparations and immediate aftermath, according to two congressional sources.

This just proves that George Bush cares about Brown people.

What we have here, I suspect, is hush money. Brown is being kept in the crony-fold in order to make it less likely that he gives an expose to Newsweek or some such as revenge.

But let’s make some fun of him. He’s now a consultant, right? Well, remember this joke?

A shepherd was tending his flock in a remote pasture when suddenly a dust cloud approached at high speed, out of which emerged a shiny silver BMW. The driver, a young man in an Armani suit, Ferragamo shoes, the latest Polarized sunglasses and a tightly knotted power tie, poked his head out the window and asked the shepherd, “Hey! If I can tell you how many sheep you have in your flock, will you give me one?”

The shepherd looked at the man, then glanced at his peacefully grazing flock and answered, “Sure.”

The driver parked his car, plugged his microscopic cell phone into a laptop and briskly surfed to a GPS satellite navigation system on the Internet and initiated a remote body-heat scan of the area. While the computer was occupied, he sent some e-mail via his Blackberry and, after a few minutes, nodded solemnly at the responses. Finally, he printed a 150 page report on the little laser printer in his glove compartment, turned to the shepherd, waving the sheaves of paper, and pronounced “You have exactly 1,586 sheep.”

“Impressive. One of my sheep is yours.” said the shepherd.

He watched the young man select an animal and bundle it into his car. Then the shepherd said: “If I can tell you exactly what your business is, will you give me back my sheep?”

Pleased to meet a fellow sportsman, the young man replied �You�re on.�

“You are a consultant.” said the shepherd without hesitation.

“That’s correct,” said the young man, impressed. “How ever did you guess?”

“It wasn’t a guess,” replied the shepherd. “You drive into my field uninvited. You ask me to pay you for information I already know, answer questions I haven’t asked, and you know nothing about my business. Now give me my back my dog.”

[Quote:]

When she heard about the book-banning in Limestone County, Miranda Ball, director of Lawrence County Library, which serves 34,000 people in nearby Moulton, Ala., decided on the perfect theme for her teen summer-reading group: banned books. For her “Readiculous” program, she gathered a group of teens and 20-somethings, stocked up on To Kill a Mockingbird, The Adventures of Tom Sawyer, J.K. Rowling’s oeuvre and other commonly banned books, and had kids take their pick. “Then we would all talk about why the book was banned—and if the kids thought it should be banned,” says Ball. “None of the kids thought their book should be banned. They all said ‘That’s stupid.’ ”

Stupid or not, there were 547 reports of banned or challenged books in 2004, according to the ALA (a somewhat unreliable figure, since the organization estimates that only about one in four challenges is reported). Most often initiated in school libraries or small rural libraries, by concerned parents, the charges are usually based on the grounds that the books contain offensive language, are sexually explicit, are unsuited for the intended age group or are excessively violent. To raise awareness of the number of books that are challenged each year, the ALA is observing its 23rd annual “Banned Books Week—Celebrating the Freedom to Read,” from Sept. 24 to Oct. 1.

[Quote:]

[Quote:]

N00040072.jpg was taken on September 24, 2005 and received on Earth September 25, 2005. The camera was pointing toward TETHYS at approximately 30,725 kilometers away, and the image was taken using the CL1 and CL2 filters. This image has not been validated or calibrated.

Donald Rumsfeld is giving the president his daily briefing. He concludes by saying: “Yesterday, 3 Brazilian soldiers were killed.”

“OH NO!” the President exclaims. “That’s terrible!”

His staff sits stunned at this display of emotion, nervously watching as the President sits, head in hands.

Finally, the President looks up and asks, “How many is a brazillion?”

[Quote:]

In a court case where the RIAA tried suing the mother of a 13 year old when her daughter shared music over a file-sharing network, the court forced the RIAA to dismiss the case. In order for the RIAA to sue the child, a Guardian Ad Litem (guardian appointed by a court to represent a minor) must be appointed to protect the interests of the child. While the mother had no experience or knowledge with computers, the RIAA claimed that she was indirectly liable for allowing her daughter to use her computer to illegally share music online.

[..]

The case was dismissed with prejudice, which prevents the case from being advanced against the defendant. Finally, the RIAA tried asking the Judge to amend the judgement in order to allow them to sue the child through a Guardian Ad Litem. However the court denied this RIAA’s request.

There are way, way too many swindlers in this world. The following comment was posted a few months ago on an entry about Natalee Holloway. It’s been sitting in my moderation queue for a while, I just didn’t know how to properly mock it. I still don’t know, so I’ll just show it to you, without the links in it, to demontrate what lengths some people go to to abuse a misery. And it’s not just the nutjobs like this one, but the big names as well. More after the comment.

Hello Readers.

This newsletter is a very special one and I sincerely hope for your support and your help.

Following my appearance on prominent radio host George Noory Coast to Coast show, thousands of listeners downloaded my book Moon Power for free.

My manuscript and the printing process prove my work to be simply unarguable, pertaining to the terrible dilemma afflicting Natalee Holloway and her devastated family.

I know too well what transpired with the stars that night and the misleading energy that produced this terrible predicament. This is what Moon Power printed 7/7/2004 says for the date of May 30th 2005. Read it carefully and if you have a copy of the book simply turn to page 176. Note if you do not have a copy of this book you can always download it for free from my site. [LINK REMOVED]

Note on those days that the Moon was waning (negative) and did maneuver the worse “energy” of both planets Uranus (bad surprises/shocking news) and Neptune (deception/alcohol). This high langage is well understood by any of my students but I will make it simple for you to assimilate.

Moon Power sample page 176 for:

SUN., MON., TUE. – MAY 29, 30, 31: May 2005.

RULERS – Uranus (Explosions/surprises) and Neptune (oil/Middle East):

Family and Friends: Spend some valuable time with your family. Do not expect the affairs of the heart to progress or get better for a while, and teenagers may get themselves in trouble. Watch for the use of drugs, as Neptune will lead them towards wrong friends. Depressed friends may call you asking for spiritual support or direction. With Neptune, confusion and deception is in the air.

Love Affairs: Love and romance may suffer as during a waning Moon, Uranus’ erratic emotions may preside and disturb your relationship. Be patient with the partner and use diplomacy to save trouble. All fire signs will suffer this lunation emotionally, so try not to let it happen to you, use you will. If you are a Leo, Sagittarius, Libra or Aries remember the waning Moon and be patient.

Realize that I simply translated the “energy” for these days. Note that Neptune rules drugs, alcohol, and the water sign of Pisces; incidentally the very well known public place in Aruba is number one party boat, called the “Tattoo”. (Tattoo is like a nightclub but the difference is that it is on water.)

I want to help the police using Astropsychology to shed some light in this very deceitful situation and I am asking you to help me to find the date of birth of Natalee Holloway. This would allow me to find much more about this dilemma and bring the truth of what happened that night to Natalee.

Please pass on this very important newsletter to ALL the people you know including the media as there is true values in my research.

Lastly I will also suggest you to take the time to go to my website and click on the banner “SOS to the world” and learn all you can about the deceiving powers of Neptune. Doing so can save your life or the life of someone you care. [LINK REMOVED]

There is NO reason for innocent and beautiful Natalee Holloway to be fall victim of this nasty planet. Had she been aware of the Waning Moon and the Power of Neptune she would have used caution that night and be alive today. Again in the name of ignorance, mental snobbism or religious poisoning, the true power of the stars is cast aside and the children are paying the ultimate price. It is time for Astropsychology to be accepted as a solid discipline and taught in our colleges and universities so the children of the future can build a solid cosmic consciousness and avoid losing their lives in the name of ignorance. Help me in my pledge to educate this world on the power of the stars and their influence on our daily affairs.

In this sad case as Pisces (Neptune) rules deception, the stars depict drugs/drinking/rape and a body of water.

Note that I do not “predict” anything. I simply know when and how the energy of each planet exhibits its positive or negative influence in our lives. Life is a constant process of changes and those energies are coming back on a regular and mathematical order. There is nothing mystical about the impact of the stars upon our psyche, Astropsychology is a very advanced logical and consistent science, which has been debunked by science and feared by religion. It is time for this ancient and valuable discipline to get back where it belongs in our colleges and Universities and to be accepted as a solid discipline so the children of the future can build a solid cosmic consciousness and avoid losing their lives in the name of ignorance. Help me in my pledge to educate this world on the power of the stars and their influence on our daily affairs. Our brain is nothing else than a sophisticated computer reacting to the powerful outside stimuli produced by the stars. We are all children of the Universe and we are all without exception under the jurisdictions of the stars. Those stars depict our strengths, weaknesses, fate and that it means to be human. Please once more help me to breach the thick wall of skepticism and ignorance and save lives.

“God created the stars in the heaven for more than the sake of beauty; he gave them to us for interpretation so that we may live a safer and more productive life.”

Blessings to all

Dr. Turi

The tragedy is being abused by big names as well. Imagine you’re a big TV personality, and imagine you get the choice to insult 100,000 people, but in return a few million will like you better? What do you do? Exactly, start spouting bullshit about a case you know nothing about to get some feel-good viewer reactions:

[Quote:]

Dr. Phil continues his observation. “We need to say, ‘That’s not OK.’ We need to tell these people, ‘We will never set foot on Aruban soil again until you stand up and do what you have to do for this young woman. You just have to understand that.’ And if that means writing the State Department, if it means writing the President, if it means writing the Aruban government, they just need to know, ‘There’s 270 million people over here that are going to forget you people exist as a destination and see how that works for you. If you’re not going to treat Americans with dignity and respect, then you’re not going to treat them at all.’

Dr. Phil obviously didn’t bother to get some facts. And as a result, there’s now http://www.boycottdrphil.com/

[Quote:]

Federal Reserve Chairman Alan Greenspan told France’s Finance Minister Thierry Breton the United States has “lost control” of its budget deficit, the French minister said Saturday.

“‘We have lost control,’ that was his expression,” Breton told reporters after a bilateral meeting with Greenspan.

“The United States has lost control of their budget at a time when racking up deficits has been authorized without any control (from Congress),” Breton said.

[Quote:]

The public comments, which were made during meetings between the G8 nations and the International Monetary Fund, are certain to anger the Bush administration and widen divisions between the US and France over issues such as the Iraq war and global warming.

A clearly irritated senior US Treasury source said: “Things can get lost in translation.”

Except that Mr Breton speaks English fluently.

Le chien a mangé mon travail, et ma calculatrice.

C’est la manière républicaine, n’est-ce pas ?

[Quote:]

Cindy Sheehan, the California woman who has used her son’s death in Iraq to spur the anti-war movement, was arrested Monday while protesting outside the White House.

Sheehan and several dozen other protesters sat down on the sidewalk after marching along the pedestrian walkway on Pennsylvania Avenue. Police warned them three times that they were breaking the law by failing to move along, then began making arrests.

Sheehan was the first taken into custody. She stood up and was led to a police vehicle while protesters chanted, “The whole world is watching.”

^*Standing While Liberal

[Quoteth the manager:]

“But what if we need to store 3 values in the pair?”

Microsoft probably created the System.Web.UI.Pair and System.Web.UI.Triplet classes as a result of this guy’s genius.

Anti-war rally in Washington D.C. on Saturday: 100,000 attend.

Pro-war rally in Washington D.C. on Sunday: 400 attend.

“Americans responded quickly to Hurricane Katrina, donating $1.2 billion to relief efforts in the four weeks since the hurricane struck, according to The Chronicle of Philanthropy, with 70 cents of every dollar going to the Red Cross.” [ABC News | September 25, 2005]

“An extraordinary appeal to Americans from the Bush administration for money to help pay for the reconstruction of Iraq has raised only $600…” [The Observer | September 25, 2005]

21 Variations on “They’re Coming To Take Me Away, Ha-haa!”

[Quote:]

Day No. 1:

And the Lord God said, “Let there be light,” and lo, there was light. But then the Lord God said, “Wait, what if I make it a sort of rosy, sunset-at-the-beach, filtered half-light, so that everything else I design will look younger?”

“I’m loving that,” said Buddha. “It’s new.”

“You should design a restaurant,” added Allah.

Day No. 2:

“Today,” the Lord God said, “let’s do land.” And lo, there was land.

“Well, it’s really not just land,” noted Vishnu. “You’ve got mountains and valleys and—is that lava?”

“It’s not a single statement,” said the Lord God. “I want it to say, ‘Yes, this is land, but it’s not afraid to ooze.’ ”

“It’s really a backdrop, a sort of blank canvas,” put in Apollo. “It’s, like, minimalism, only with scale.”

“But—brown?” Buddha asked.

“Brown with infinite variations,” said the Lord God. “Taupe, ochre, burnt umber—they’re called earth tones.”

“I wasn’t criticizing,” said Buddha. “I was just noticing.”

Day No. 3:

“Just to make everyone happy,” said the Lord God, “today I’m thinking oceans, for contrast.”

“It’s wet, it’s deep, yet it’s frothy; it’s design without dogma,” said Buddha, approvingly.

“Now, there’s movement,” agreed Allah. “It’s not just ‘Hi, I’m a planet—no splashing.’ ”

“But are those ice caps?” inquired Thor. “Is this a coherent vision, or a highball?”

“I can do ice caps if I want to,” sniffed the Lord God.

“It’s about a mood,” said the Angel Moroni, supportively.

“Thank you,” said the Lord God.

Day No. 4:

“One word,” said the Lord God. “Landscaping. But I want it to look natural, as if it all somehow just happened.”

“Do rain forests,” suggested a primitive tribal god, who was known only as a clicking noise.

“Rain forests here,” decreed the Lord God. “And deserts there. For a spa feeling.”

“Which is fresh, but let’s give it glow,” said Buddha. “Polished stones and bamboo, with a soothing trickle of something.”

“I know where you’re going,” said the Lord God. “But why am I seeing scented candles and a signature body wash?”

“Shut up,” said Buddha.

“You shut up,” said the Lord God.

“It’s all about the mix,” Allah declared in a calming voice. “Now let’s look at some swatches.”

Day No. 5:

“I’d like to design some creatures of the sea,” the Lord God said. “Sleek but not slick.”

“Yes, yes, and more yes—it’s a total gills moment,” said Apollo. “But what if you added wings?”

“Fussy,” whispered Buddha to Zeus. “Why not epaulets and a sash?”

“Legs,” said Allah. “Now let’s do legs.”

“Are we already doing dining-room tables?” asked the Lord God, confused.

“No, design some creatures with legs,” said Allah. So the Lord God, nodding, designed an ostrich.

“First draft,” everyone agreed, and so the Lord God designed an alligator.

“There’s gonna be a waiting list,” Zeus murmured appreciatively.

“Now do puppies!” pleaded Vishnu. “And kitties!”

“Ooooo!” all the gods cooed. Then, feeling a bit embarrassed, Zeus ventured, “Design something more practical, like a horse or a mule.”

“What about a koala?” asked the Lord God.

“Much better,” Zeus declared, cuddling the furry little animal. “I’m going to call him Buttons.”

Day No. 6:

“Today I’m really going out there,” said the Lord God. “And I know it won’t be popular at first, and you’re all gonna be saying, ‘Earth to Lord God,’ but in a few million years it’s going to be timeless. I’m going to design a man.”

And everyone looked upon the man that the Lord God designed.

“It has your eyes,” Zeus told the Lord God.

“Does it stack?” inquired Allah.

“It has a naïve, folk-artsy, I-made-it-myself vibe,” said Buddha. The Inca sun god, however, only scoffed. “Been there. Evolution,” he said. “It’s called a shaved monkey.”

“I like it,” protested Buddha. “But it can’t work a strapless dress.” Everyone agreed on this point, so the Lord God announced, “Well, what if I give it nice round breasts and lose the penis?”

“Yes,” the gods said immediately.

“Now it’s intelligent,” said Aphrodite.

“But what if I made it blond?” giggled the Lord God.

“And what if I made you a booming offscreen voice in a lot of bad movies?” asked Aphrodite.

Day No. 7:

“You know, I’m really feeling good about this whole intelligent-design deal,” said the Lord God. “But do you think that I could redo it, keeping the quality but making it at a price point we could all live with?”

“I’m not sure,” said Buddha. “You mean, what if you designed a really basic, no-frills planet? Like, do the man and the woman really need all those toes?”

“Hello!” said the Lord God. “Clean lines, no moving parts, functional but fun. Three bright, happy, wash ’n’ go colors.”

“Swedish meets Japanese, with maybe a Platinum Collector’s Edition for the geeks,” Buddha decided.

“Done,” said the Lord God. “Now let’s start thinking about Pluto. What if everything on Pluto was brushed aluminum?”

“You mean, let’s do Neptune again?” said Buddha.

[Quote:]

There are no coincidences. On Monday, as L. Dennis Kozlowski was slapped with eight to 25 years in jail for looting Tyco International of some US$150 million, the feds were making their first arrest of a high-ranking member of the Bush administration. The official was David Safavian, the chief of White House federal procurement policy who once worked for Jack Abramoff, the sleazy Republican lobbyist whose disreputable client list, in another noncoincidence, included Tyco. While it’s an accident of timing that Safavian was collared at his suburban Virginia home just as Kozlowski was sent to the slammer in New York, the two events could not better bracket a corrupt era worthy of the Gilded Age.

Ours will be remembered as the Enron era. Enron itself is a distant memory. But even as American business has since been purged by prosecutions and reforms, the mutant Enron version of the CEO culture still rules in Washington: uninhibited cronyism, cooked books, special-favors networks, the banishment of whistle-blowers and accountability. More than ideology, this ethos has sabotaged even the best of American intentions, whether in Iraq or New Orleans. Unchecked, it promises greater disasters to come.

As recently as 10 days ago, when he resigned before his arrest, Safavian was the man who set purchasing policy for the entire federal government, including that related to Hurricane Katrina relief. The White House might as well have appointed a contestant from “The Apprentice.” Before entering public service, Safavian’s main claim to fame was as a lobbyist whose clients included Indian gaming interests and thuggish African regimes. Safavian now faces charges of lying and obstructing the investigation of Abramoff, the Tom DeLay-Ralph Reed-Grover Norquist pal who is being investigated by more agencies than looked into 9-11. Abramoff’s greasy K Street influence-peddling network makes the Warren Harding gang, which operated out of its own infamous “little green house on K Street,” look like selfless stewards of the public good.

You know that the arrest of Safavian, one of three known Abramoff alumni to migrate into the administration, is the start of something big. Alberto Gonzales’ Justice Department announced it only after Safavian had appeared in court and had been released without bail. The gambit was clearly intended to keep the story off television, and it worked.

It won’t for long. The Enron odor emanating from Safavian is of a piece with the rest of the cronyism in the Katrina preparedness package.

[Quote:]

Het vliegveld van Rotterdam weert vluchten van de overheid. Dit betekent dat onder anderen koningin Beatrix en premier Balkenende niet langer vanuit de havenstad kunnen vertrekken. Ze moeten uitwijken naar bijvoorbeeld Schiphol, zei directeur R. Wondolleck van Rotterdam Airport vrijdag.

Rotterdam Airport zegt hiertoe genoodzaakt te zijn omdat de geluidsnormen zijn overschreden. Het ministerie van Verkeer en Waterstaat heeft het vliegveld al een boete opgelegd, waarmee Wondolleck het niet eens is.

Rotterdam Airport is niet vies van wat verzet. Het was lerares en (toenmalig) Minister Netelenbos van verkeer en waterstaat (u weet wel, die mevrouw die het over zoefmobieltjes had, wanneer ze over auto’s sprak) die verantwoordelijk is geweest voor de verlaging van nachtvluchtlimiet op Rotterdam Airport van 24.00 uur naar 23.00 uur (waardoor het aantal charters die op Rotterdam vliegen is geminimaliseerd, met tientallen directe ontslagen als gevolg). Een paar weken na de invoering van deze maatregel wilde madam, na een werkbezoek in Londen, toch op Rotterdam Airport landen, terwijl het 23.40 uur was. De luchtverkeersleiding heeft haar toen vriendelijk doch dringend verzocht op te sodemieteren naar Schiphol. Haar chauffeur, die met draaiende motor op Rotterdam Airport op zijn werkgeefster stond te wachten, is nog nooit zo snel van Rotterdam naar Schiphol gereden.

Floodwaters surround damaged homes and businesses in the aftermath of Hurricane Rita Sunday, Sept. 25, 2005 in Cameron, La. (AP Photo/David J. Phillip)