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Warning: this is so stupid you might need to be sitting down.

The latest brainwave from an industry that continues to bleed revenue is the Ringle: a product that combines the single format with ringtones.

Each ringle will contain three songs: one popular track, a remix, an older track from the same artist and a ringtone. Distribution method for the Ringle: a CD with a slip-sleeve cover.

Reuters reports that the idea is that if consumers can download any ringtones they want, why not let them buy them on CD.

Sony BMG Music and Universal Music Group will release 50 and 20 titles respectively in October and November. The CD’s will sell for either $5.98 or $6.98. Distributors will include BestBuy, Wal-Mart, Target and Amazon.

I’m nearly speechless. The CD Single is dead and the Record Industry believes that people will spend near $7 on buying a Ringtone and single on a CD.

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Early adopters of the iPhone weren’t the only ones receiving in-store credit from Steve Jobs. In an overlooked announcement, Jobs said that early adopters of the Apple Lisa would be receiving a $7000 in-store credit.

Apple released the Lisa in January of 1983 for $9,995, and the similar Macintosh was released a year later for $2,495.

“I’ve felt bad about people who bought the Lisa for a long time. Anybody who bought one of the first Apple Lisas really got screwed,” said Jobs. “Now that we’ve got some cash, I think it’s about time we made it right.”

People interested in the refund will need to bring in an original receipt showing they bought the Lisa in 1983 and proof of purchase from the Apple Lisa box. Sales figures from that year show that if all people who bought the computer claim the refund, Apple could be liable for almost $70,000.

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Apple® today announced it sold its one millionth iPhone™ yesterday, just 74 days after its introduction on June 29.

Note: “sold”, not “shipped”. Since this is not the kind of thing you can lie about in a press release this should put all the “iPhone doesn’t sell” rumours to rest.

Did Microsoft ship its millionth Zune yet?

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Although the rainy season was coming on fast, Zainabu Sesay was in no shape to help her husband. Ditches had to be dug to protect their cassava and peanuts, and their mud hut’s palm roof was sliding off.

But Mrs. Sesay was sick. She had breast cancer in a form that Western doctors rarely see anymore — the tumor had burst through her skin, looking like a putrid head of cauliflower weeping small amounts of blood at its edges.

“It bone! It booonnnne lie de fi-yuh!” she said of the pain — it burns like fire — in Krio, the blended language spoken in this country where British colonizers resettled freed slaves.

No one had directly told her yet, but there was no hope — the cancer was also in her lymph glands and ribs.

Like millions of others in the world’s poorest countries, she is destined to die in pain. She cannot get the drug she needs — one that is cheap, effective, perfectly legal for medical uses under treaties signed by virtually every country, made in large quantities, and has been around since Hippocrates praised its source, the opium poppy. She cannot get morphine.

That is not merely because of her poverty, or that of Sierra Leone. Narcotics incite fear: doctors fear addicting patients, and law enforcement officials fear drug crime. Often, the government elite who can afford medicine for themselves are indifferent to the sufferings of the poor.

Another good reason to stop the War On Drugs.

I think I have to study this game a bit more…

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Seemingly taunting Osama bin Laden, President Bush’s homeland security adviser said Sunday the fugitive al-Qaida leader is “virtually impotent” beyond his ability to hide away and spread anti-American propaganda.

Don’t they have a pill for that now?

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Clinton’s prayer group was part of the Fellowship (or “the Family”), a network of sex-segregated cells of political, business, and military leaders dedicated to “spiritual war” on behalf of Christ, many of them recruited at the Fellowship’s only public event, the annual National Prayer Breakfast. (Aside from the breakfast, the group has “made a fetish of being invisible,” former Republican Senator William Armstrong has said.) The Fellowship believes that the elite win power by the will of God, who uses them for his purposes. Its mission is to help the powerful understand their role in God’s plan.

Hey, American voter! Would you like Coke or Pepsi?

Separation of soft drink and state is a vicious lie propagated heathen water worshippers. The founders were all colaists. This is a colaist nation!

More than you ever wanted to know about the Fellowship. These are not benign people.

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For 4 years this administration has had the support of the loyal opposition for the objective of seeking an honorable end to the struggle.

Never has so much military and economic and diplomatic power been used so ineffectively and if after all of this time and all of this sacrifice and all of this support there is still no end in sight then I say the time has come for the American people to turn to new leadership not tied to the mistakes and the policies of the past. That is what we ought to do America.

Look at our problems abroad. Do you realize that we face the stark truth that we are worse off in every area of the world tonight than we were … (audio inaudible).

We’ve had enough of big promises and little action. The time has come for honest govt in the United States of America and there is only one answer to such a record of failure and that is a complete housekeeping of those responsible.

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The top American commander in Iraq, Gen. David H. Petraeus, has recommended that decisions on the contentious issue of reducing the main body of the American troops in Iraq be put off for six months, American officials said Sunday.

6 months.

Again.

It’s always six months.

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The ship is named Emma Maersk. The command bridge is higher than a 10 story building and 11 rigs that can operate simultaneously.

Additional info:

Country of origin – Denmark
Length – 1,302 ft
Width – 207 ft
Net cargo – 123,200 tons
Engine – 14 in-line cylinders diesel engine (110,000 BHP)
Cruise Speed – 31 mi/h
Cargo capacity – 15,000 TEU (1 TEU = 20 ft3 container)
Crew – 13 people
First Trip – Sept. 08, 2006
Construction cost – US $145,000,000

Silicone painting applied to the ship bottom reduces water resistance and saves 317,000 gallons of diesel per year.

13 men and a ten story building for a command tower?

How much does it have to suck when you are the bottom six guys on the totem pole and the captain says, “You six, you don’t get your own floor of the tower, you have to share.”

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Dear Bishop Weeks,

I’ve been praying for you to do the right thing after you choked and beat your wife, Prophetess Juanita Bynum, and praise the Lord my prayers were answered. Not only did you place the blame squarely where it belongs, with Satan, you also took the next step and forgave the Prophetess, for causing you to assault her. That’s exactly the kind of example we expect our most prominent Christian leaders to set.

Heterosexually yours,

Gen. JC Christian, patriot