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So, Comcast has some public image issues. And what do you do when you want to fix the perception but not the underlying problems? Change your name! Change it to the worst, pseudo-pornographic, retro-futuristic garbage marketing dollars can buy.

Do you get it, people? It’s infinity, which is awesome, and X, which is dangerous. It’s, like, dangerously awesome.

The overhaul will apply to Comcast’s technology platform and products, which means all you malcontent Comcast cable, internet, and phone customers will soon be malcontent Xfinity cable, internet, and phone customers. They’ll start rolling out the rebranding next week in about a dozen markets, with the rest of the country getting the Xfinity treatment later this month.