Anchor: Let’s move on.
When the cops came in, Rudy’s band was practicing in his basement recording studio.
What the police didn’t know is that the microphones were hot and everything was being recorded.
“They have a recording studio? What the (expletive),” said one cop.
“I hope they’re not mixing,” said another.
But they were mixing, and two cops take turns singing on the microphone, not knowing their performance was being recorded.
ATLANTA (AP) – Shocking as it may seem, U.S. government doctors once thought it was fine to experiment on disabled people and prison inmates. Such experiments included giving hepatitis to mental patients in Connecticut, squirting a pandemic flu virus up the noses of prisoners in Maryland, and injecting cancer cells into chronically ill people at a New York hospital.
Much of this horrific history is 40 to 80 years old, but it is the backdrop for a meeting in Washington this week by a presidential bioethics commission. The meeting was triggered by the government’s apology last fall for federal doctors infecting prisoners and mental patients in Guatemala with syphilis 65 years ago.
Influential Harvard and Stanford law professor Lawrence Lessig noted in a must-watch speech last week that polls show that only 11% of the American people have confidence in Congress.
He notes that more people believed in King George at the time of the Revolutionary War than believe in congress today.
Historians have estimated that between 15 and 20% of the white population of the colonies were Loyalists
During an unexpected moment of clarity Tuesday, open-minded man Blake Richman was suddenly struck by the grim realization that he’s squandered a significant portion of his life listening to everyone’s bullshit, the 38-year-old told reporters.
A visibly stunned and solemn Richman, who until this point regarded his willingness to hear out the opinions of others as a worthwhile quality, estimated that he’s wasted nearly three and a half years of his existence being open to people’s half-formed thoughts, asinine suggestions, and pointless, dumbfuck stories.
"Jesus Christ," said Richman, taking in the overwhelming volume of useless crap he’s actively listened to over the years. "My whole life I’ve made a concerted effort to give people a fair shake and understand different points of view because I felt that everyone had something valuable to offer, but it turns out most of what they had to offer was complete bullshit."
"Seriously," Richman added, "what have I gained from treating everyone’s opinion with respect? Nothing. Absolutely nothing."