Three Texans died and are at the pearly gates of heaven. St. Peter tells them that they can enter the gates if they can answer one simple question. St. Peter asks the first Texan, “What is Easter?” The Texan replies, “Oh, that’s easy! It’s the holiday in November when everyone gets together, eats turkey, and are thankful and stuff…” “Wrong!,” replies St. Peter, and proceeds to ask the second Texan the same question, “What is Easter?” The second Texan replies, “Easter is the holiday in December when we put up a nice tree, exchange presents, and drink eggnog.” St. Peter looks at the second Texan, shakes his head in disgust, tells her she’s wrong, and then peers over his glasses at the third Texan and asks, “What is Easter?” The third Texan smiles confidently and looks St. Peter in the eyes, “I know what Easter is.” “Oh?” says St. Peter, incredulously. “Easter is the Christian holiday, that coincides with the Jewish celebration of Passover. Jesus and his disciples were eating at the last supper. Then the Romans took him to be crucified and he was stabbed in the side, made to wear a crown of thorns, and was hung on a cross with nails through his hands. He was buried in a nearby cave which was sealed off by a large boulder.” St. Peter smiles broadly with delight. Then the third Texan continues, “Every year the boulder is moved aside so that Jesus can come out…and, if he sees his shadow, there will be six more weeks of winter.

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My favorite part of the Bible is where Jesus gives money to the rich, tells the poor to suck it up and asks for Caesar’s birth certificate.