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“Our firm’s reputation for providing quality service reflects the high standards we demand of ourselves. Our high standards, responsive service and specialized staff spell the difference between our firm and the rest.”

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He cried — and the judge cut him loose.
A disgraced NYPD detective convicted of planting drugs on an innocent couple was looking at jail time when he walked into court on Thursday.
He walked out with probation after blubbering that he was ashamed of himself and pleading for mercy.
“I can’t look at myself in the mirror anymore,” Jason Arbeeny told Brooklyn Supreme Court Justice Gustin Reichbach.
“Sir, I am begging you, please don’t send me to jail.”
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A cold front that has raged across much of Europe over the past week has brought arctic temperatures, icy high winds and dozens of deaths. In addition to its human toll, it has been a marketing snafu for BMW AG’s Mini brand.
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A marketing agency for Mini decided that BMW should bet on a sponsorship that would make potential customers associate Mini’s new roadster with brisk but sunny weather. For €299 ($394), it bought the name for a 2012 high-pressure area and dubbed it Cooper. It spent another €199 on a low-pressure system and secured the name Minnie.
It is “a wind- and weatherproof idea,” the Munich agency, Sassenbach Advertising, said on its website in late January, as the Cooper-driven front began to make its way from Siberia.
But as Cooper swept through Eastern Europe, it brought more than the wintry sunshine Mini had hoped for. Temperatures sank to below minus 30 degrees Celsius, or minus 22 Fahrenheit, and more than 250 people have died, mostly in Ukraine, Poland and Romania.
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Holy boilerplate batman!
Those of you who don’t get it, click the “Quote” link.
*snorts* Oh, sure… Where did I read that…..
Whatever happened to, “I’m an accountant and consequently too boring to be of interest?”
The “Onion” seems to have a lot of competition these days.