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Former US vice president Dick Cheney was in hospital Sunday, recovering after a long-awaited and “lifesaving” heart transplant from an unknown donor to whom he will “be forever grateful.”

Can you imagine the shame, if your loved one was carrying a donor card and this happened?

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@mixin iceberg {
    float: none;
}

#titanic {
    @include iceberg;
}

---

var brettAnswer = “”;
var julesResponse = “”;

function doesMarcellusWallaceLookLikeABitch() {
    if (brettAnswer == “what”) {
        shootBrett();
    } else if (brettAnswer == “no”) {
        julesResponse = “Then why’d you try to fuck him like a bitch, Brett?”;
        reciteEzekiel();
        shootBrett();
    }
}

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So Google wrote to my zeldman.com address, which they won’t allow me to associate with my Google+ address, to invite me to start a Google+ account (which I already have) on my zeldman.com account, which they won’t support. And if I do that (which I can’t), and some other complicated stuff, they promise that I will then be able to participate in Google IO, whatever that is.

And now they have written to warn me that my Google IO, whatever it is, will stop being offered if I don’t sign up (which I can’t) right away. And they even convinced you, my friend, to send a personal note ensuring that I don’t miss the opportunity to sign up for their unspecified product or service with the account they don’t support before the unexplained offer is terminated.

While I should be curious about Google IO and what I will miss if I fail to take advantage of the cumbersome offer, what I’m actually far more curious about is how an organization that can’t write an effective direct marketing email message has managed to become one of the most powerful corporations of the 21st century.

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A 32-year-old woman from Iraq who was found severely beaten next to a threatening note saying “go back to your country” died on Saturday.

Hanif Mohebi, the director of the San Diego chapter of the Council on American-Islamic Relations, said he met with Shaima Alawadi’s family members in the morning and was told that she was taken off life support around 3 p.m.

“The family is in shock at the moment. They’re still trying to deal with what happened,” Mohebi said.

Alawadi, a mother of five, had been hospitalized since her 17-year-old daughter found her unconscious Wednesday in the family’s house in El Cajon, police Lt. Steve Shakowski said.

The daughter, Fatima Al Himidi, told KUSI-TV her mother had been beaten on the head repeatedly with a tire iron, and that the note said “go back to your country, you terrorist.”

Addressing the camera, the tearful daughter asked: “You took my mother away from me. You took my best friend away from me. Why? Why did you do it?”

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A southeastern Pennsylvania church subjected members of a youth group to a mock kidnapping and interrogations without telling them it was staged, and the outraged mother of one 14-year-old girl has filed a complaint with police.

The pastor of the Glad Tidings Assembly of God in Middletown said the church is “so saddened” that the girl was traumatized at the Wednesday evening youth meeting.

But the pastor, John Lanza, said Friday there have been emails of support from other students at the church, about 10 miles southeast of Harrisburg, because the intent was to prepare them for what they might encounter as missionaries. He didn’t disclose the names of those involved but said the mock kidnappers included an off-duty police officer and a retired Army captain.

“It was a youth event, to illustrate what others have encountered on a regular basis,” he said, adding that the focus of the lesson was “the persecuted church” in other countries.

If this goes unpunished, they could just as easily rape children and then tell them it was just a lesson of what some other people have to go through.

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Probably inspired by Hunger Games mania, Rick Santorum recently released the most dystopian campaign video we’ve seen in quite a while. Called “Obamaville,” the video depicts the bleak world of 2014: President Obama has been re-elected, the playgrounds sit empty, freedom of religion is under attack, and apparently we’re all cyborgs powered by putting gasoliine directly into our heads. THANKS A LOT OBAMA!

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It’s amazing that a moderate, center-of-the-road president, a president who has been a tirelessly optimistic advocate of bipartisanship and cooperation since he first took the national stage by giving the keynote address at the Democratic National Convention in 2004 (“There is no red America. There is no blue America. There is only America.”), a president who has advocated no radical policies, a president who’s major legislative accomplishment was to pass a modest universal health care law, not much different than one proposed by Republicans over a decade earlier, a president that has shown more concern for continuity than change, has generated so much hysterical fear and loathing among those who appear to believe he embodies pure evil in all its various forms, from communism to fascism to anti-religious bigotry and appeasement in the face of foreign enemies. Has there ever been a president who was the subject of such wild, fevered, monstrous fantasies?

Gee, I wonder why that is? I wonder what sets him apart from all past presidents and makes the most outlandish accusation against him seem plausible to those who fear him? It’s a mystery.

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Siri, the artificially intelligent “assistant” on the iPhone 4S, utilizes some of the world’s most advanced speech-recognition technology.  She can remind you of appointments, calculate math problems, suggest restaurants for dinner, and write emails.

But apparently, she can’t help you if you’re suicidal.

In this ten-minute long video, a young woman pretends to be suicidal and tries to get Siri to respond appropriately to expressions of suicidal ideation.

I guess Apple could fix this.