[Quote]:

Jake Finkbonner was so close to death after flesh-eating bacteria infected him through a cut on his lip that his parents had last rites performed and were discussing donating the 5-year-old’s tiny organs.

Jake’s 2006 cure from the infection was deemed medically inexplicable by the Vatican, the “miracle” needed to propel a 17th century Native American, Kateri Tekakwitha, on to sainthood.

Dear Vatican, let me explain the phrase “29 surgeries” to you…