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Feds drop Cancer Society’s charitable status after determining organization is politically biased against cancer

Posted on July 27th, 2014 at 20:18 by John Sinteur in category: batshitinsane -- Write a comment

[Quote]:

The federal government has removed the Canadian Cancer Society’s charitable status after an CRA audit revealed the organization was conducting political activities with a strong prejudice against cancer.

“The Cancer Society has made a concerted political effort against all forms of cancer,” said Minister of Revenue Kerry-Lynne Findlay. “Radical and ideological members of the Society have demanded everyone to stop smoking, using asbestos in construction and even had the nerve to remind everyone to wear sunscreen. Clearly, this does not meet the definition of a charity.”

The audit stated that 98% of the activities that the Canadian Cancer Society since 1938 has been politically slanted against malignancy, while tens of thousands of volunteers have canvassed neighbourhoods spreading their own negative opinions on cancer and raising money to fight it.

“There was also an extensive anti-cancer research network worth billions of taxpayer dollars that pay scientists who oppose cancer,” Findlay stated with a complete look of disgust on her face.

The auditors pointed out that “preventing cancer” is not allowed, but “relieving cancer” is charitable as long as no one knows about it.

[Quote]:

The Canada Revenue Agency has told a well-known charity that it can no longer try to prevent poverty around the world if it wants to keep its charitable status for tax purposes. It can only alleviate poverty — because preventing poverty might benefit people who are not already poor.

  1. “When I fed the poor they called me a Saint. When I asked why the poor were hungry, they called me a communist.”

  2. I don’t understand why this has the “batshitinsane” category. You do realize this is from a satire site, right? I like a couple of their other headlines:

    Comic-con fans eager to discover what they’ll spend next 12 months bitching about
    One weird trick to summoning Cthulhu, dread lord of R’yleh
    New app locates hottest nearby places to curl up and die

  3. @Mudak: It’s fair comment though. The CRA _is_ investigating PEN. And a bunch of environmental charities, because, you know, terrorism.

    http://www.huffingtonpost.ca/tom-henheffer/canada-charities-audit_b_5620754.html

    http://www.vancouverobserver.com/news/flaherty-cites-terrorism-when-asked-why-cra-auditing-environmental-charities

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