« | Home | Recent Comments | Categories |

He was burnt to death with magnifying glass for your sins

Posted on July 28th, 2014 at 17:13 by John Sinteur in category: batshitinsane, Pastafarian News


Write a comment

Feds drop Cancer Society’s charitable status after determining organization is politically biased against cancer

Posted on July 27th, 2014 at 20:18 by John Sinteur in category: batshitinsane


The federal government has removed the Canadian Cancer Society’s charitable status after an CRA audit revealed the organization was conducting political activities with a strong prejudice against cancer.

“The Cancer Society has made a concerted political effort against all forms of cancer,” said Minister of Revenue Kerry-Lynne Findlay. “Radical and ideological members of the Society have demanded everyone to stop smoking, using asbestos in construction and even had the nerve to remind everyone to wear sunscreen. Clearly, this does not meet the definition of a charity.”

The audit stated that 98% of the activities that the Canadian Cancer Society since 1938 has been politically slanted against malignancy, while tens of thousands of volunteers have canvassed neighbourhoods spreading their own negative opinions on cancer and raising money to fight it.

“There was also an extensive anti-cancer research network worth billions of taxpayer dollars that pay scientists who oppose cancer,” Findlay stated with a complete look of disgust on her face.

The auditors pointed out that “preventing cancer” is not allowed, but “relieving cancer” is charitable as long as no one knows about it.


The Canada Revenue Agency has told a well-known charity that it can no longer try to prevent poverty around the world if it wants to keep its charitable status for tax purposes. It can only alleviate poverty — because preventing poverty might benefit people who are not already poor.

Write a comment


  1. “When I fed the poor they called me a Saint. When I asked why the poor were hungry, they called me a communist.”

  2. I don’t understand why this has the “batshitinsane” category. You do realize this is from a satire site, right? I like a couple of their other headlines:

    Comic-con fans eager to discover what they’ll spend next 12 months bitching about
    One weird trick to summoning Cthulhu, dread lord of R’yleh
    New app locates hottest nearby places to curl up and die

  3. @Mudak: It’s fair comment though. The CRA _is_ investigating PEN. And a bunch of environmental charities, because, you know, terrorism.



Fast + pray

Posted on July 25th, 2014 at 9:54 by John Sinteur in category: batshitinsane, Pastafarian News


Write a comment


  1. Another wonderful example of folk art showing all the assured confidence of a mind untroubled by convention or comprehension. The wavy lettering no doubt produced by the pressure of working under the deadline threat of imminent Armageddon.

  2. @pete: Excellent start. Our thesis in Art History is now entitled:

    Alternating Alterities: The Dialectical Object as Therapy in Response to Societal Change.

  3. I an far too busy at the moment on a History of the Future of Postmodernism Reconsidered, which my publisher (myself) assures me will be a runnaway best seller.

Struggling to Keep Afghan Girl Safe After a Mullah Is Accused of Rape

Posted on July 20th, 2014 at 11:50 by John Sinteur in category: batshitinsane


It was bad enough that the alleged rape took place in the sanctity of a mosque, and that the accused man was a mullah who invoked the familiar defense that it had been consensual sex.

But the victim was only 10 years old. And there was more: The authorities said her family members openly planned to carry out an “honor killing” in the case — against the young girl. The mullah offered to marry his victim instead.

This past week, the awful matter became even worse. On Tuesday, local policemen removed the girl from the shelter that had given her refuge and returned her to her family, despite complaints from women’s activists that she was likely to be killed.

Write a comment


  1. Nice folks. Loser has his way with a 10yr-old girl and her family’s reaction is to kill HER. None of our business, I suppose.

  2. There’s an old saying: “You can lead a horse to water, but you can make it drink”. Actually, that’s not an insult of horse intelligence.

  3. Actually, it’s suppose to be “can’t make it drink”.

  4. [Quote]:

    A member of the Islamic Assembly (Majlis) and its ‘Judicial Commission’, Nayereh Akhavan (here’s a photo of her),  has said that there can be no ban on child marriages because there are ten year olds who have reached ‘sexual and intellectual puberty’ and because it would ‘contradict sharia’. We know Islam’s prophet consummated his ‘marriage’ with Aisha when she was 9.  And of course there is Ayatollah Khomeini ‘s book of sayings: ‘Tahrir al Wasilah’, where he says that a man can even have sex with a baby.

    He says: ‘A man can have sexual pleasure from a child as young as a baby. However, he should not penetrate vaginally, but sodomising the child is acceptable. If a man does penetrate and damage the child then, he should be responsible for her subsistence all her life. This girl will not count as one of his four permanent wives and the man will not be eligible to marry the girl’s sister… It is better for a girl to marry at such a time when she would begin menstruation at her husband’s house, rather than her father’s home. Any father marrying his daughter so young will have a permanent place in heaven.’

    There’s more on sex with animals and placing penises between the thighs of weaning babes if you have the stomach to read on.

    The book in English is very inappropriately called Ruhollah Khomeini, Sayings of the Ayatollah Khomeini: Political, Philosophical, Social, & Religious (“The Little Green Book”) [Bantam Books, September 1985, New York/London. ISBN 0553140329] by the moral relativist brigade.

  5. Pedophiles use religion to justify abusing women and molesting children? I’m shocked.

  6. I think there should be a constitutional amendment banning trade with counties that don’t respect everyone’s right.

Pro-Life Nurse Sues Family Planning Clinic for Not Hiring Her to Do the Job She Refused to Do

Posted on July 20th, 2014 at 10:28 by John Sinteur in category: batshitinsane


Sara Hellwege, a pro-life nurse, applied for a job at Tampa Family Health Centers (in Florida) this past April. TFHC is a Title X clinic, meaning they’re all about things like family planning, contraception, and birth control.

So when Hellwege mentioned her affiliation with the “American Association of Pro-Life Obstetricians and Gynecologists” in her resume, the interviewer (Chad Lindsey) asked her if that would be a problem since, you know, conservative Christians + birth control = crazytown.

Hellwege said she couldn’t prescribe birth control since, in her unscientific mind, it caused abortions. Lindsey, knowing that all of the job openings involved prescribing birth control, told her there were no other positions available and that there was no reason to proceed with the interview process.

So she’s suing him.

I repeat: She’s suing him because he’s not hiring her for a job she refuses to do.

Write a comment

Tech Blogger Tries To Cancel Comcast Service, Hilarity Ensues

Posted on July 15th, 2014 at 19:20 by John Sinteur in category: batshitinsane


The representative (name redacted) continued aggressively repeating his questions, despite the answers given, to the point where my wife became so visibly upset she handed me the phone. Overhearing the conversation, I knew this would not be very fun.What I did not know is how oppressive this conversation would be. Within just a few minutes the representative had gotten so condescending and unhelpful I felt compelled to record the speakerphone conversation on my other phone.This recording picks up roughly 10 minutes into the call, whereby she and I have already played along and given a myriad of reasons and explanations as to why we are canceling (which is why I simply stopped answering the rep’s repeated question — it was clear the only sufficient answer was “Okay, please don’t disconnect our service after all.”).

Write a comment

Internet Users Think Steven Spielberg Killed Dinosaur, Accuse Him of Animal Cruelty

Posted on July 12th, 2014 at 15:00 by John Sinteur in category: batshitinsane


But put a man next to a dead animal, and you will have enough dumb commenters for a lifetime

Write a comment


  1. Spoof, surely.

GOP candidate who supports abstinence-only learns it doesn’t work the hard way.

Posted on July 11th, 2014 at 18:12 by John Sinteur in category: batshitinsane


Cassidy is a state Congressmen from Louisiana and is the leading contender challenging Democratic incumbent Sen. Mary Landrieu.  In 2013 he co-sponsored the Abstinence-Only Reallocation Act which would award school’s state money for abstinence-only education programs.  He has also consistently railed against the ACA’s contraceptive mandate.  So it will come as no surprise that Cassidy’s 17 year-old (unmarried) daughter is pregnant.

Write a comment


  1. Isn’t that just a rite of passage for teenage girls in the South?

  2. Not just the South and certainly not just the girls. Sarah Palin’s daughter and her boyfriend did the same thing in Alaska. Teenagers having sex is timeless and universal. They write books and songs about it. They even make movies about it these days. In spite of all that, there are still a handful of quite well-educated people, like the physician Cassidy, who have not or cannot grasp reality.

  3. @Rob: I hate to say it, but their reality involves getting girls knocked up as early as possible. Then they don’t get ejerkated and uppity.

Undisputable Bubble Insanity: No Revenue, No Assets Company Up Over $1 Billion (+110%) Today On 57K Shares Traded

Posted on July 10th, 2014 at 16:12 by John Sinteur in category: batshitinsane


Just 2 days ago we highlighted the best example of the exuberance awash the markets currently – CYNK Technology Corp, the social media development company that had a market capitalization in excess of $1 billion, which according to official filings, had one employee, no website, no revenue, no product, and no assets. Fast forward 2 days – and some 57,000 shares traded (about 0.02% of its total shares outstanding) at around $10 and CYNK now has a market cap approaching $3 billion (and still no revenue, no product, and no assets)… Lord Overstone said it best. “No warning can save people determined to grow suddenly rich.”


Think we are exaggerating, here is the company’s own description from its 10-K (yes mysteriously it does actually have public filings):

we have not yet commenced our full scale business operations and we have not yet realized any revenues.

We have minimal operating history upon which an evaluation of our future prospects can be made. Based upon current plans, we expect to incur operating losses in future periods as we incurred significant expenses associated with the initial startup of our business. Further, we cannot guarantee that we will be successful in realizing revenues or in achieving or sustaining positive cash flow at any time in the future. Any such failure could result in the possible closure of our busiess or force us to seek additional capital through loans or additional sales of our equity securities to continue business operations.

Write a comment


  1. It’s a pump & dump scam, probably supported by lots of spam. Yawn.

  2. “A company for carrying on an undertaking of great advantage, but nobody to know what it is.”

  3. From Charles Mackay’s “Extraordinary Popular Delusions And The Madness Of Crowds”, describing the time of the South Sea Bubble in about 1720.

    The most remarkable [project] was “A company for carrying on an undertaking of great advantage, but nobody to know what it is”:

    [the prospectus stated] that the required capital was half a million, in five thousand shares of 100 pounds each, deposit 2 pounds per share. Each subscriber, paying his deposit, was entitled to 100 pounds per annum per share. How this immense profit was to be obtained, [the proposer] did not condescend to inform [the buyers] at that time, but promised that in a month full particulars should be duly announced, and a call made for the remaining 98 pounds of the subscription. Next morning, at nine o’clock, this great man opened an office in Cornhill. Crowds of people beset his door, and when he shut up at three o’clock, he found that no less than one thousand shares had been subscribed for, and the deposits paid. He was thus, in five hours, the winner of 2000 pounds. He was philosophical enough to be contented with his venture, and set off the same evening for the Continent. He was never heard of again.

    [filling in the background to the comment of my fellow commentor SueW.]

  4. These days one need not remove to the Continent. And one can do it again and again.

In ‘sexting’ case Manassas City police want to photograph teen in sexually explicit manner, lawyers say

Posted on July 9th, 2014 at 19:46 by John Sinteur in category: batshitinsane


A Manassas City teenager accused of “sexting” a video to his girlfriend is now facing a search warrant in which Manassas City police and Prince William County prosecutors want to take a photo of his erect penis, possibly forcing the teen to become erect by taking him to a hospital and giving him an injection, the teen’s lawyers said. A Prince William County judge allowed the 17-year-old to leave the area without the warrant being served or the pictures being taken — yet.

Write a comment

Christian Pastor Who Tortured a Child Will Spend No More Than Two Years in Prison

Posted on July 9th, 2014 at 18:25 by John Sinteur in category: batshitinsane, Pastafarian News


Here’s what I know about the Heart of Worship Community Church in Corona, California: Its members love Jesus, its website needs a lot of help, and the pastor is fucked up.

This is what Pastor Lonny Lee Remmers (below), along with two church members, did to a 13-year-old boy in 2012 because he needed to be “disciplined”:

… The alleged incidents occurred in March and included [church members Nicholas James Craig and Darryll Duane Jeter Jr.] driving the unidentified boy to a desert and forcing him to dig his own grave for more than an hour. They allegedly hit him with a belt and threw dirt on him before returning to the group home.

While the boy was showering, one of the men allegedly rubbed salt into the cuts on his back. Witness Steven Larkey, who lives in the group home, told investigators he could hear the boy screaming and saw blood all over the shower the next day.

The boy, who was later taken into protective custody, also told police he had been stripped, tied to a chair and sprayed with Mace. Because he was not allowed to wash or cool off with water for half an hour, his nose began to bleed, and his thrashing from the pain caused the blood to splatter.

At a Bible study later that evening at Remmers’ home, Remmers asked the boy to sit in the middle of the group and then squeezed his nipple with pliers.

What’s the proper punishment for the abuse and torture of a little boy? A life sentence? A couple of decades behind bars?

Not even close. The men of God will receive, at most, up to two years in prison and some probation. That’s it. In most states, you get a harsher penalty for selling weed.

Write a comment


  1. Lock the parents up too. They probably requested the extra discipline.

  2. Squeeze his nipples with electrified tweezers while simultaneously dipping his dick in hot pepper mash.

Kentucky State Senator: Mars Has the Same Temperature as Earth, so Climate Change is a Hoax

Posted on July 8th, 2014 at 15:28 by John Sinteur in category: batshitinsane


Write a comment


  1. The myth of higher education. Smith’s home city: Hazard- how ironic

  2. I wondered what happened to Forrest Gump in later life.

  3. I think he is trying to refer to the “global warming” of Mars based on the observation that its south “pole” icecap is evaporating. Not that that proves Mars is going though the same thing as Earth, but he might have remembered something like: “Mars also has global warming,” and made up something like: “Mars is like earth, so its weather is like ours.” If so, the senator not be just plane stupid but stupid by proxi plus some.

  4. The Sun has no coal mines….

Let’s hold up a mirror!

Posted on July 6th, 2014 at 17:33 by John Sinteur in category: batshitinsane


Here’s Holly Fisher, aka Holly Hobby Lobby.


She seems nice.

She and her friends have been gloating over how all those libruls’ heads are gonna explode over the photo. Unfortunately, someone posted this:


Oops. Whose heads are exploding?

Write a comment


  1. What was it Burger King was saying? “We’re all the same inside.”

  2. My gun is bigger than your gun.

Conservatives Purposely Making Cars Spew Black Smoke

Posted on July 6th, 2014 at 14:23 by John Sinteur in category: batshitinsane


Pickup trucks customized to spew black smoke into the air are quickly becoming the newest weapon in the culture wars.

“Coal Rollers” are diesel trucks modified with chimneys and equipment that can force extra fuel into the engine causing dark black smoke to pour out of the chimney stacks. These modifications are not new, but as Slate’s Dave Weigel pointed out on Thursday, “rolling coal” has begun to take on a political dimension with pickup drivers increasingly viewing their smokestacks as a form of protest against environmentalists and Obama administration emissions regulations.

So, out of sheer spite and stupidity, these folks are lowering their mpg and polluting their air at us simply because we care about it?

They should know that I hate people giving me money and I’m totally against blow jobs.

Write a comment


  1. Progressives usually think you can reason with human beings, but you can’t with these grown-up children. (I say this with deep respect.) They are fun-loving guys with many good qualities. They have lots of money combined with poor impulse control and above all they love being told what to do by clever people so they can hate them loudly and self-righteously.

    Annoying liberals on one side or annoying rednecks on the other is a sporting contest that both teams will pay to encourage. It drives the political and media tribes wild with greed.

    Sadly, I can’t see a bridge for this divide. It’s a shame that everything gets trampled in the process.

  2. I don’t see any difference in this and the House Republican announcing they’ll oppose Obama irregardless of the damage to the US.

  3. Perhaps Obama should very publicly open and support a suicide prevention center?

  4. @Desiato: Good article, btw. It does miss the element of fun though. IMO, both sidea seriously enjoy their fulminations and grumbling.

  5. The main effect they will achieve with this childish behaviour will be to further lower the already low life expectancy in redneck county(the southern states life expectancy is 6 years below New England, “vegetables are for sissies, we are more steak and potatoes here”). They obviously want to add lung cancer and respiratory problems.

  6. @steffen: Perhaps, although their birth rate should be higher what with the attitude to contraception and abortion. Notoriously poor health and pre-natal care will result in more babies with mental and physical disabilities…

  7. “…more babies with mental and physical disabilities…”

    or future voters as they will be known.

    And so it goes on, round and round in ever-decreasing circles, until it goes down the plug-hole.

  8. @porpentine: If it weren’t for the complaining I’d really enjoy my life :-)

The Supreme Court just sneakily reversed itself on Hobby Lobby.

Posted on July 5th, 2014 at 22:35 by John Sinteur in category: batshitinsane


For the court to issue an emergency temporary injunction is a truly extraordinary act. Even more extraordinary was that justices filed a 16-page barnstorming dissent. And those dissenters share a highly relevant personal characteristic: a uterus. That’s correct, the three dissenting justices last night were the court’s three women: Justices Sonia Sotomayor, Ruth Bader Ginsburg, and Elena Kagan. In the event that the religious and gender rift at the court was not already painful to behold, the dissent, penned by Sotomayor, is a forceful and unwavering rejection of both the majority’s reasoning and tactics. “I disagree strongly with what the court has done,” Sotomayor wrote. “Those who are bound by our decisions usually believe they can take us at our word. Not so today. After expressly relying on the availability of the religious-nonprofit accommodation to hold that the contraceptive coverage requirement violates [the Religious Freedom Restoration Act] as applied to closely held for-profit corporations, the Court now, as the dissent in Hobby Lobby feared it might, retreats from that position.”

Write a comment


  1. It’s time to impeach these buggers! Alito and gang do not deserve to be Supreme Court Justices, and they have adequately proven that they do not honor the Constitution which they have each sworn, on a Holy Bible none the less, to preserve, protect, and defend (or similar words). Since they are liars and have broken their solemn oath, they should be removed from their benches.

  2. So it’s religions’ vs women’s rights. This is a battle that women have to fight. The three female Supremes can bleed conservatives dry if they want. Continually issuing restraining orders that take the whole court to overturn will become a real pain in the ass.

  3. @chas: From here it looks like white (allegedly hetero) patriachy vs. everyone else. The future is going to be browner and a lot more fun, for everyone :-)

‘As A Straight Christian American…’ – BK’s ‘Proud Whopper’ Just Too Much for Homophobes

Posted on July 4th, 2014 at 8:25 by John Sinteur in category: batshitinsane, Pastafarian News


Calling it a “sodomy burger” made by “Burger Queen,” anti-gay, homophobic, outraged Bible-waving social media users claiming to be Christian went on the attack almost as soon as Burger King changed its Facebook page photo to unveil its “Proud Whopper” yesterday. The billion-dollar fast food giant had introduced the burger — which is merely an ordinary Whopper wrapped in rainbow pride flag-like paper — at San Francisco’s pride parade, which it also sponsored.

“You need to keep sexual preference out of my food! I’ll be eating at the Chick Fil A”

Write a comment


  1. Love thy neighbour…

  2. Sodomy burger? Isn’t that a double whopper with a hot dog in the middle?

  3. So, if they don’t want to eat a Proud Whopper, let them eat cake!

Don’t Bring That Game Around These Parts

Posted on July 3rd, 2014 at 20:40 by John Sinteur in category: batshitinsane


If I encountered these losers in my local Exton, Pennsylvania Target store, I’d be inclined to shoot them all preemptively on the assumption that anyone that heavily armed is in the process of going on a killing spree.


Look at the dazed look in these men’s eyes and the way that “Hope for Bacon” clutches his blessed Oreo cookies. These men are not only heavily armed, they are heavily drugged.

Around these parts, real men don’t carry firearms, and certainly not the semi-automatic variety. Which is why I wouldn’t be able to shoot these men in my local Target. I wouldn’t be armed.

Now, I understand that Target has put up signs in some locations asking losers not to bring their long guns into the store, but it’s only a polite request in some of these crazy states because the law says that stores can’t do a damn thing about it. How do you tell the difference between the fools pictured above and an impending armed robbery or spree killing?

I have no fucking clue.

Write a comment


  1. Shoot first and let God sort them out.

  2. Target is a corporation.

    This act of political protest (which Target also requests not happen in or near their stores) would cause reputational damage to the corporation.

    Therefore, assuming that the Target store is in a jurisdiction with stand-your-ground laws, the action is clear: gun down the open-carry activists in an act of corporate self-defense.

Supreme Court Rejects Contraceptives Mandate for Some Corporations – NYTimes.com

Posted on June 30th, 2014 at 18:07 by John Sinteur in category: batshitinsane


The Supreme Court ruled on Monday that requiring family-owned corporations to pay for insurance coverage for contraception under the Affordable Care Act violated a federal law protecting religious freedom.

The 5-to-4 decision, which applied to two companies owned by Christian families, opened the door to challenges from other corporations to many laws that may be said to violate their religious liberty.

Justice Samuel A. Alito Jr., writing for the court’s five more conservative justices, said a federal religious-freedom law applied to for-profit corporations controlled by religious families. He added that the requirement that the companies provide contraception coverage imposed a substantial burden on the companies’ religious liberty.


a company can now have religious liberty. Can they also play Mario Kart?

And since previously they did not allow religious objections to things like blood transfusions, can we safely assume it mattered this was dealing with ladies fucking?

Weirdly narrow, pretty much blatantly misogynistic, and still kicks the door wide open. Not good.

I’d like to congratulate Hillary Clinton on winning the 2016 Presidential Election today.

Write a comment


  1. [Quote]:

    Now that the court has made what Justice Ginsburg called “a decision of startling breadth” that would allow corporations to “opt out of any law … they judge incompatible with their sincerely held religious beliefs”, I’d like to talk about some of my other deeply held beliefs.

  2. I don’t think ladies fucking is the problem here, John.

  3. The reasoning makes *some* sense to me. Closely held companies are a legal wrapper that represents a small set of owners, and thus I think there’s a legitimate argument about where the line is between the owners as people with rights and the corporation as a separate entity. You could argue that when you incorporate to limit your liability exposure, you should also forfeit your personal rights. The counterargument I know of is to think about the ACLU, which is a corporation, and its 4th Amendment rights of privacy. Should the ACLU not be protected against random searches of their premises? Surely that would allow police to intimidate organizations they don’t like?

    I wish the SCOTUS had ruled that corporations may opt to not cover certain birth control, if they do so must pay employees an equivalent amount so employees can buy that supplemental insurance.

  4. When you start the incorporation process, your business adviser will tell you about some of the disadvantages. Among them requirements about corporate records, shareholder and directory meetings, being careful about possible conflicts of interest between shareholders and directors, residency requirements of directors, and most important, a corporation is closely regulated. There are things it is not allowed to do. Most famous examples include wedding cake stores refusing to supply gay weddings.

    So, if you incorporate, you don’t just get extra rights, you also lose some, and get some extra obligations. The 4th amendments example therefore doesn’t make much sense to me. A lot of the regulations a corporation have to follow could already be argued to limit constitutional rights held by individuals.

    I think it should be simple – if you’re a shareholder, your relationship is mostly financial, you can name directors, and you influence policy. You do not get to transfer rights you have to the company, such as this freedom of religion example.

    Here’s a counter example to your 4th. How about the 5th? The big picture rule is that the Fifth Amendment gives you a right not to perform a particular act if that act would be (1) compelled, (2) potentially incriminating, and (3) testimonial. In this case, (2) is the interesting case. If you are asked to provide evidence that is NOT potentially incriminating to YOU, you can NOT “plead the fifth” and keep silent. In such cases, if a judge is of the opinion that you should talk, and you don’t, you can be held in contempt and jailed.

    Now suppose an employee dies, and the difference between it simply being an accident and criminal negligence is some knowledge held by a shareholder, and the shareholder is in no way connected to whatever led up to the death of the employee. In that case, that shareholder would not be able to “plead the fifth” and keep silent.

    Would that change if said shareholder is one in a “closely held company”?

  5. If I’m reading your argument/question right, you’re suggesting that a person could claim that their testimony would incriminate not themselves personally but the closely-held company they are a co-owner of, and thus refuse to testify under the 5th?

    That seems the exact inverse of what happened in this case. Here, rights of the individual are transferred to the corporation because it is seen as a proxy for the person… not vice versa.

    My impression from quick reading of a few articles is that the SCOTUS majority deemed this ruling acceptable because it doesn’t bar the employee from obtaining birth control in other ways, i.e. in their eyes the harm done is relatively small. That’s a matter of judgment, of course. I don’t know offhand how it compares to the wedding cake example you cite.


    > if you incorporate, you don’t just get extra rights, you also lose some, and get some extra obligations. The 4th amendments example therefore doesn’t make much sense to me.

    In the U.S., corporate structure is a bit more varied than the simple BV/NV choice you have in Holland. You can, for example, form an LLC, which does not count as a full corporation. There are also S-Corporations which do not file corporate income taxes, but pass all profit through to the owners. These are corporate structures halfway between operating as an individual (or group) and being a full-blown corporation. Thus, the rights/responsibilities situation isn’t necessarily as clean-cut as you’d like it to be. E.g. closely held corporations aren’t subject to auditing or SEC disclosures.

    I would definitely prefer that these limits of rights & responsibilities be defined by an open political process rather than made up as-we-go by the courts. But, this being the U.S… *sigh*

  6. That seems the exact inverse of what happened in this case. Here, rights of the individual are transferred to the corporation because it is seen as a proxy for the person… not vice versa.

    Yes, exactly. So why one direction and not the other?

    I see two possible great outcomes, neither likely: Obamacare II iz introduced, following Indian example by making the top 40 medications free for everybody. That would include contraception. Or, less unlikely, all current insurance companies offer the exempted medication for free to everybody, costs reimbursed from tax income, with a special rider to the tax bill earmarking all tax levied on Hobby Lobby exclusively for this purpose.

  7. Yes, exactly. So why one direction and not the other?

    In one direction we have individuals who have Constitutionally granted rights which are being extended to their proxies. In the other direction, we have corporations, which in themselves do not have Constitutional rights other than such as are extended from the people who have an interest in them. It makes no sense to transfer rights in the other direction.

  8. 80-90% of all companies in America today qualify for that definition of “closely held.”

    It’s another bombardment of the Right’s war on Labor with a special misogynist payload.

  9. So, if I understand you correctly, the share holder in my example would still have to testify?

    Then, why does his claim about the fifth work differently from Hotel Hobby shareholders claiming the first?

  10. IANAL nor particularly familiar with the law surrounding this, so I certainly don’t claim that the below is legally well-founded. But here’s how I would sketch it:

    The Hobby Lobby owners are personally opposed to certain specific kinds of contraception, which they don’t want to pay for. They also don’t want to pay for it when a few of them get together and form a company, because in effect it would still be their money being spent when the corporation is a thin proxy. Thus, the money does not have to be spent.

    In your example, the owner is already protected by the 5th Amendment and does not have to testify. Making the corporation disclose information does not compel that individual to testify against themselves after all. Thus, the 5th Amendment rights would not transfer to the corporation. But I think there is more specific jurisprudence here on the functioning of the corporate veil and how it applies; I just don’t know it.

    I think my ACLU example is more likely to provide the kind of trouble that you’re trying to create. I would argue that people should be able to organize corporations like the ACLU to advocate for certain causes, and that in that pursuit they should have Free Speech and privacy rights and be free from unreasonable search, etc. Otherwise such a corporation would be useless against a governmental adversary, right? However, when it comes to interaction with elections, it’s less clear to me what rights such corporations should have.

  11. A great HuffPo article on other laws that might have to fall by the wayside if we get to pick and choose which laws we abide by on the basis of religion:


  12. opposed to certain specific kinds of contraception, which they don’t want to pay for

    But that’s just the thing, isn’t it. They are not paying for contraception at all. They paying money earmarked for health care insurance premiums, a small part of which might, and might not, go towards reproductive health products. Are they opposed to Viagra as well?

    If my religion opposed war in all its forms can I get a discount on my tax? How would that be different?

  13. A great HuffPo article

    Why did they leave out slavery?

  14. Democrats love to use the threat of a conservative, out of control, Supreme Court to scare people into voting for them, and the Supreme Court loves to prove them correct.

  15. I think they left out slavery because opposition to the minimum wage is so deeply engrained already to the psyche of those who support this ruling already. Take away the minimum you can pay them and the new “floor” becomes zero…

  16. If corporations have federally protected First Amendment rights, how long before they start asking for the Second?

  17. At what point during a job interview is it appropriate to ask the owner’s religion?

    Since a business owner’s religion subjects their employees to different rules now, it seems like that’s an important question to ask during the interview process. If a candidate does not know if a company is willing to cover something which they may need at what point can it be asked without jeopardizing an offer of employment?

    And if the business changed its religion? Would it be announced with a projected date of faith change. Would workers be grandfathered in to the old faith restrictions or be compelled to adopt the new faith restrictions if they are more cost effective?

Failed challenger alleges U.S. Rep. Frank Lucas is dead

Posted on June 29th, 2014 at 13:06 by John Sinteur in category: batshitinsane


A candidate who was soundly defeated in Tuesday’s Republican primary by U.S. Rep. Frank Lucas says he will contest the election because the incumbent congressman is dead and an imposter is filling his shoes.

Timothy Ray Murray garnered 5.2 percent of the vote in Tuesday’s three-candidate Republican primary, which Lucas won outright with 82.8 percent.

On Wednesday, Murray, who listed his residence as Moore on his declaration of candidacy, announced he would contest the election.

In a press release posted on his campaign website, he alleges “it is widely known Rep. Frank D. Lucas is no longer alive and has been displayed (sic) by a look alike. Rep. Lucas was depicted as being executed along with others on a white stage in southern Ukraine on or about Jan. 11, 2011.”

Lucas could not immediately be reached for comment.

Write a comment


  1. Clearly ani indirect way to get the undead vote out.

Kelly on excommunication from Mormon church: ‘I’ve done nothing wrong’

Posted on June 25th, 2014 at 19:56 by John Sinteur in category: batshitinsane, Pastafarian News

Next time there’s a Mormon at your door, just quote these ironic parts from their letter to Kate Kelly:


In his letter Monday to Kelly, Harrison said it had been his greatest desire to persuade Kelly to “desist from the course on which you have embarked” to keep her in the faith and to protect the “integrity of the church and its doctrine.”

“The difficulty, Sister Kelly, is not that you say you have questions or even that you believe that women should receive the priesthood. The problem is that you have persisted in an aggressive effort to persuade other church members to your point of view and that your course of action has threatened to erode the faith of others,” Harrison wrote. “You are entitled to your views, but you are not entitled to promote them and proselyte others to them while remaining in full fellowship in the church.”

Write a comment

Young Mujahid sings Hoor al-Ayn nasheed with his brothers, preparing to meet her

Posted on June 25th, 2014 at 19:47 by John Sinteur in category: batshitinsane, Mess O'Potamia, Pastafarian News

[Who Are Al-Hoor Al-Ayn ?]:

Assalam Alaikum. The Imam Of The Sunnah, Ibn Al-Qayyim (may Allah swt have mercy on him and grant him the highest of Jannah) said in his Haadi al-Arwaah describing Jannah – about the Hoor :

“And if you ask about their brides and wives, then they are young and full-breasted and have had the liquid of youth flow through their limbs; the Sun runs along the beauty of her face if she shows it, light shines from between her teeth if she smiles; if you meet her love, then say whatever you want regarding the joining of two lights; he sees his face in the roundness of her cheek as if he is looking into a polished mirror, and he sees the brightness from behind her muscles and bones; if she were to be unleashed upon the World, she would fill what is between the Heavens and the Earth with a beautiful wind, and the mouths of the creation would glorifiy, praise, and exclaim greatness, and everything between the East and the West would be adorned for her, and every eye would be shut from everthing but her, and the light of the Sun would be outshone just as the light of the Sun outshines the light of the stars, and everyone on the face of the Earth would believe in the Ever-Living, the One who Sustains and Protects all the exists.”

“And the covering on her head is better than the World and all that is in it, and she does not increase with age except in beauty; free from an umbilical cord, childbirth and menses, and pure of mucous, saliva, urine and other filthy things; her youth never fades, her clothing is never worn out, no garment can be created that matches her beauty, and no one who is with her can ever become bored; her attention is restricted to her husband, so she desires none but him, just as his attention is restricted to her so she is the sole object of his desire, and he is with her in utmost safety and security, as none has touched her before of either humans or Jinn.”

Write a comment


  1. What’s the big deal? You can buy these dolls online if you’re too embarrassed to shop for them personally.

No, PETA, Cow Milk Does Not Cause Autism

Posted on June 24th, 2014 at 0:13 by John Sinteur in category: batshitinsane


PETA (People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals) earned its chops over the last few decades by raising public awareness about the cruelty of wearing animal fur. Using hard-hitting, obnoxious photos of fur-covered celebrities, they drove home their point—and changed the way many people think about wearing that mink in the process.

It is unsettling, therefore, to see them adopt the same take-no-prisoners approach to pushing an eccentric theory linking milk consumption to autism.

Write a comment


  1. Surely “earned its chops” sounds a bit too…er…meaty for PETA.

  2. I take it PETA was hoping the dairy constituency was going to cow to their will. The public was in no mooed for it, though.

Rohrer: God Will Punish America For Gay Marriage

Posted on June 22nd, 2014 at 14:31 by John Sinteur in category: batshitinsane

Preach on Rohrer, or God will punish the USA in the same way He punished the countries where it is legal: Sweden, Norway, New Zealand, Canada, Denmark, Iceland, the Netherlands.

I’m sure you want God to reward the USA the same way God rewarded the countries where it is illegal: Uganda, Nigeria, Somalia, Iran, Pakistan, Syria, Afghanistan…

Write a comment


  1. You can’t let logic intervene if you’re discussing religion. That’s not allowed.

  2. The supreme being in most of the countries you say are being punished is Allah (not God but The God). Allah has a different view about how its followers should be treated.

  3. Not sure it’s wise to refer to Allah as it. And all of the monotheistic religions think of their God, by definition, as The God.

  4. Porpentine, I think your comment about whether or not it is “wise” is what separates rational religions from irrational and dangerous. Frankly, I think it’s nuts to give money to God. He shouldn’t need it.

  5. Chas, I think God’s colleague the Tooth Fairy has it the right way round – he gives you money not vice-versa.

    My crack about referring to Allah as “it” was to point out a fairly hefty error by the God-botherers who take such infinite care to define and parse and slice and interpret their chosen religious playground. Click on Joe’s name above.

Rape victims say Bob Jones University told them to repent

Posted on June 21st, 2014 at 11:05 by John Sinteur in category: batshitinsane, Pastafarian News


Raised in a conservative Mennonite home in rural Ohio, Katie Landry was a sheltered kid. She hadn’t even held hands with a boy when, at age 19, she says her supervisor at her summer job raped her. Two years later, and desperate for help, she reported the abuse to the dean of students at her college.

“He goes, ‘Well, there’s always a sin under other sin. There’s a root sin,’” Landry remembers. “And he said, ‘We have to find the sin in your life that caused your rape.’ And I just ran.”

Write a comment


  1. Right… Her “sin” was being young, pretty (probably), and a virgin. I’m glad she ran from that asshat – as far as she could go!

  2. Sounds like she got “raped” twice, but religions have been doing that forever.

Prophet Emmanuel Okai: Ghana will beat USA three nil

Posted on June 17th, 2014 at 12:36 by John Sinteur in category: batshitinsane


This world cup will be one of the best ever hosted and God is so delighted that He has revealed the two teams that will be in the finals to me. It will be a do or die affair and I can state on authority that Ghana will play Brazil in the grand finale.

A man dressed in a white apparel was standing with me on a football pitch in the night vision and said to me in the dream that Ghana will win all seven matches then I heard the voice of Jesus Christ saying in the 2nd week of the 7th month of this year (2014), I will do a new thing for Africa which will be the beginning of their healing. Remember, you must be in a very good mood to receive anything from God.

Comparing the two visions, there is a direct connection which automatically tells us that Ghana will surely win this World Cup’s finals which will be played on the 13th of July, 2014.

The final match of the World Cup is between Ghana and Brazil. God speaks and we hear!!!

The secret of the Lord is with his prophets!!

Write a comment


  1. Ok. The non-prophet EO was wrong. US won…

  2. The secret of the Lord is with his profits!!

    Hey, it works either way … :)


Posted on June 17th, 2014 at 9:46 by John Sinteur in category: batshitinsane, Pastafarian News



Write a comment


  1. Two ‘merican flags on the back of the trailer, I understand. But the Israeli flag? Is this person from the Israeli tourist bureau?

  2. That might be an optical illusion, Sue. I’m not sure the flag in the middle is an American flag to begin with, and they might just appear to come from the back of the trailer because of the perspective of the picture. They might be over the building in the background.

  3. When you deal with wackos like this, everything you see is an illusion… :rolleyes:

  4. In the last picture of the set you can clearly see that the three flags are attached to the trailer. The middle one is black and I’m drawing a blank on what it would be. The American flag is obvious. The Israeli flag is probably because of Zionism.

  5. @Evan: Black POW-MIA flag, perhaps.

Mother, jailed for truant kids, found dead in cell

Posted on June 14th, 2014 at 13:02 by John Sinteur in category: batshitinsane


A Pennsylvania mother of seven died in a jail cell where she was serving a two-day sentence for her children’s absence from school, drawing complaints from the judge that sent her there about a broken system that punishes impoverished parents.

Write a comment


  1. Actually it was debtors’ prison. She there for fines levied for the truancy. God bless America, land of free. …if your rich that is.

High capacity fully loaded automatic assault paper-clip

Posted on June 13th, 2014 at 15:56 by John Sinteur in category: batshitinsane


Write a comment


  1. By and large, teachers are not insane. Maybe Sean has a history of hurting other kids with small implements.

  2. @Desiato: You must be joking! Almost all my teachers were utterly insane. One actually went stark, staring mad in the middle of a hallway, glued all the money in his wallet to the floor while screaming obscenities and ripping off his clothes. (For a girls’ school, this naturally caused quite a bit of interest).

Creationist author asks: If evolution is true, “is rape wrong?”

Posted on June 12th, 2014 at 8:35 by John Sinteur in category: batshitinsane, Pastafarian News

Ok, let’s follow that thought… Since humans are social creatures that rely primarily on their intellect and communal structures to thrive, those who are inclined toward rape would be exhibiting negative traits – namely, violence toward one’s own race, a disregard for others, and general malice. Each of these traits are unfavorable in the grand scheme of group dynamics as well as self-preservation (in that making enemies is bad for one’s self).
So yes, rape is objectively bad within the context of racial/social progress and evolution of the human species.

The bible, on the other hand, permits and encourages rape.

Write a comment


  1. Ah, the old “you’ll get raped if you don’t do what we say” argument. Off with his nuts!

  2. Only nuts? Take the head also – both them, although the one on the top of neck is useless in thee cases

  3. Hey, I just don’t want his kind reproducing! Evolutionarily speaking that is the result we want.

  4. “Ah, the old “you’ll get raped if you don’t do what we say” argument. Off with his nuts!”

    Spoken like a true Taliban. Agree with my point of view or die.

  5. Ah dear reader, this is, what we might well call, for the sake of argument, a joke.

    Such a cry-baby. He won’t die as a eunuch. It might be a teeny bit uncomfortable at first (bags of frozen peas help, apparently), but he’ll soon be back on the job.

    And if cats are anything to go by, he won’t even miss them. He’ll be better off really. Now where are my old fashioned sheep shears?

Louie Gohmert tells Congress the ‘good news’ that non-Christians are ‘going to Hell’

Posted on June 12th, 2014 at 8:28 by John Sinteur in category: batshitinsane, Pastafarian News

This guy sits on the subcommittee on the constitution, civil rights and civil liberties….

Write a comment


  1. Cancel my subscription to the resurrection.

  2. The lunatics are indeed in charge of the assylum

  3. Makes you look forward to the “rapture”. Do we get their stuff?

« Older Entries