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Religion is a great way for people with mental illness to seem normal.

Posted on November 17th, 2014 at 16:09 by John Sinteur in category: batshitinsane, Pastafarian News


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  1. lol, if this person was trying to pass as normal, then FAIL.

    Any person, religious or otherwise would find this kooky.

  2. Normal, yup. Attaching the wooden crosses _before_ deciding what colour they should be…

  3. Are you sure he isn’t just trying to be prepared for when the vampires attack?

  4. “Religion is a great way for people with mental illness to seem normal”

    Well, so is being a rabid football fan. They actually seem more normal than this.

  5. I wonder what this picture would look like if Jesus had been killed by an M-16?

  6. Think of the other images that would follow. Congregations kneeling and praying in front of a giant M-16. Priests and nuns and all manner of godbotherers wearing tiny M-16s around their necks. Bowing and genuflecting before the M-16; blessing and comforting with the sacred M-16. Churches built in the shape of an M-16; television evangelists building swimming pools in the shape of an M-16. Etc…

  7. I have read that Christianity is unique in using an instrument of torture as its symbol. I’m sure there are other less well known/pagan religions that do something similar tho.

  8. @Michael: As to your first point, that’s because football fans believe in things that are, sort of, possible – even if they may be sadly deluded in the case of some individuals.

    As to your second point, this goes to show that “loser chic” wasn’t actually an invention of the 1990’s.

Meet ‘Dr. Chaps’ Gordon Klingenschmitt: Colorado’s New Anti-Gay, Demon Hunting State Legislator

Posted on November 8th, 2014 at 16:20 by John Sinteur in category: batshitinsane


Gordon “Dr. Chaps” Klingenschmitt, a radical anti-gay Religious Right activist who brags of having once tried to rid of woman of the “foul spirit of lesbianism” through an exorcism and who openly proclaims that “American law needs to reflect God’s law” and that our foreign policy must be based on the Bible, won election to the Colorado House of Representatives last night.

Klingenschmitt, who wrote a book about how President Obama is possessed by demons and once performed an exorcism of Obama, ran an utterly embarrassing campaign yet nonetheless managed to defeat his Democratic opponent by nearly 40 points.

Since Klingenschmitt is now officially an elected Republican legislator, it seems like a good opportunity to take a look back at the radical views he will now be bringing into the Colorado legislature.

Klingenschmitt is a viciously anti-gay theocrat who believes that gay people “want your soul” and may sexually abuse their own children, which is why he says they should face government discrimination since only people who are going to heaven are entitled to equal treatment by the government

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  1. So…we’re either going to have a rich vein of future comedy gold or be driven off a cliff? I could die laughing.

  2. And what is the difference between this Gordon “Dr. Chaps” Klingenschmitt and the leaders of the likes ISIS and other fanatical theocratic morons? Nothing. Both will drive the world off the cliff and into murderous dark ages.

All diseases…

Posted on November 8th, 2014 at 10:23 by John Sinteur in category: batshitinsane


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  1. It’s a real gift to comedy that some people don’t take their medications…

  2. The driver was more than like an X ICT person who was push over the edge by one to many BSODs.

MP demoted after suggesting homeopathy use in Ebola fight

Posted on November 4th, 2014 at 19:27 by John Sinteur in category: batshitinsane


Green MP Steffan Browning has been stripped of one of his portfolios after he suggested homeopathy could be trialled for curing Ebola.

Greens co-leader Metiria Turei said the party caucus had decided to remove Mr Browning’s responsibility for the natural health portfolio.

The portfolio would be merged into the health portfolio, which is held by Kevin Hague.

Mrs Turei said the demotion sent a signal that the Green Party took an evidence-based approach to health issues, especially public health issues.

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  1. He has at least displayed that he has the intelligence of your average politician. Oh, and excellent category John.

Been to an Ebola-affected country? Stay away from tropical medicine meeting, Louisiana says

Posted on November 1st, 2014 at 16:38 by John Sinteur in category: batshitinsane


Today, Louisiana state health officials asked anyone who has traveled to Liberia, Sierra Leone, or Guinea in the past 21 days, or has treated Ebola patients elsewhere, to stay away from the annual meeting of the American Society of Tropical Medicine and Hygiene (ASTMH), which begins on Sunday in New Orleans.

So fear of Ebola now hinders research of Ebola. That is just plain stupid. And let’s not forget these other tropical diseases, like malaria.

You have more chance of being run over by a snowmobile on Miami beach than you do of catching Ebola, yet somebody dies of malaria every 60 seconds…

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  1. Canadians have a much higher chance of being run over by snowmobiles so the govt. has decided to spring into action:


Liberia’s Gay Community Under Attack Over Ebola Outbreak

Posted on October 24th, 2014 at 17:40 by John Sinteur in category: batshitinsane


“Since church ministers declared Ebola was a plague sent by God to punish sodomy in Liberia, the violence towards gays has escalated. They’re even asking for the death penalty. We’re living in fear,” Ponpon told the Thomson Reuters Foundation by telephone from Monrovia.

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  1. Did you ever notice that all the plagues are sent by God and not the Devil?

  2. @chas: “Worship me, or I’ll kill you!” sounds like a protection racket.

Shasta County atheist to get $2 million for first-amendment violation

Posted on October 15th, 2014 at 10:54 by John Sinteur in category: ¿ʞɔnɟ ǝɥʇ ʇɐɥʍ, batshitinsane


The California government and a nonprofit will pay a Shasta County atheist nearly $2 million for violating his civil rights when he was sent back to prison for taking issue with a religious drug-treatment program while on parole.

Barry Hazle Jr. and his attorney, John G. Heller, announced the settlement this morning at a press conference in San Francisco.

Hazle was imprisoned for just over 100 days after taking issue with the drug-treatment program that centered on submitting one’s fate to a “higher power.” Heller said the program also included prayer and references to God.

But when Hazle asked for another treatment program, he was told Westcare’s 12-step program was the only one available.

Probation officials eventually sent him back to prison at California Rehabilitation Center in Norco, where he had already spent a year on drug possession charges that were overturned by an appeals court, according to court documents. Their decision was based on Hazle allegedly being “disruptive, though in a congenial way, to the staff as well as other students…sort of passive-aggressive,” and needing further treatment, according to court documents.

So his conviction was overturned, basically declaring him innocent, but they sent him back because he didn’t go “Yes Sir!” loudly enough on every thing they said to him?

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ISIS states its justification for enslavement of women

Posted on October 13th, 2014 at 16:01 by John Sinteur in category: batshitinsane


In a new publication, ISIS justifies its kidnapping of women as sex slaves citing Islamic theology, an interpretation that is rejected by the Muslim world at large as a perversion of Islam.

“One should remember that enslaving the families of the kuffar — the infidels — and taking their women as concubines is a firmly established aspect of the Shariah, or Islamic law,” the group says in an online magazine published Sunday.

The title of the article sums up the ISIS point of view: “The revival (of) slavery before the Hour,” referring to Judgment Day.

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  1. “Why can’t I get any clean black robes? And where are my new flags?”
    “There’s no power for the washing or sewing machines, oh Righteously Guided One.”
    “That’s it. We need more women!”

  2. Islamist (er, I mean English Soccar Hooligans) probably got the idea from sites like this:

    from http://islamqa.info/en/10382

    – Principles of Fiqh » Jurisprudence and Islamic Rulings » Transactions » Slavery.
    10382: Ruling on having intercourse with a slave woman when one has a wife

    Could you please clarify for me something that has been troubling me for a while. This concerns the right of a man to have sexual relations with slave girls. Is this so? If it is then is the man allowed to have relations with her as well his wife/wives. Also, is it true that a man can have sexual relations with any number of slave girls and with their own wife/wives also? I have read that Hazrat Ali had 17 slave girls and Hazrat Umar also had many. Surely if a man were allowed this freedom then this could lead to neglecting the wife’s needs. Could you also tell clarify wether the wife has got any say in this matter.
    Praise be to Allaah.

    Islam allows a man to have intercourse with his slave woman, whether he has a wife or wives or he is not married.

    A slave woman with whom a man has intercourse is known as a sariyyah (concubine) from the word sirr, which means marriage.

    This is indicated by the Qur’aan and Sunnah, and this was done by the Prophets. Ibraaheem (peace be upon him) took Haajar as a concubine and she bore him Ismaa’eel (may peace be upon them all).

    Our Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) also did that, as did the Sahaabah, the righteous and the scholars. The scholars are unanimously agreed on that and it is not permissible for anyone to regard it as haraam or to forbid it. Whoever regards that as haraam is a sinner who is going against the consensus of the scholars.

    Allaah says (interpretation of the meaning):

    “And if you fear that you shall not be able to deal justly with the orphan girls then marry (other) women of your choice, two or three, or four; but if you fear that you shall not be able to deal justly (with them), then only one or (slaves) that your right hands possess. That is nearer to prevent you from doing injustice”

    [al-Nisa’ 4:3]
    What is meant by “or (slaves) that your right hands possess” is slave women whom you own.

    And Allaah says (interpretation of the meaning):

    “O Prophet (Muhammad)! Verily, We have made lawful to you your wives, to whom you have paid their Mahr (bridal‑money given by the husband to his wife at the time of marriage), and those (slaves) whom your right hand possesses — whom Allaah has given to you, and the daughters of your ‘Amm (paternal uncles) and the daughters of your ‘Ammaat (paternal aunts) and the daughters of your Khaal (maternal uncles) and the daughters of your Khaalaat (maternal aunts) who migrated (from Makkah) with you, and a believing woman if she offers herself to the Prophet, and the Prophet wishes to marry her a privilege for you only, not for the (rest of) the believers. Indeed We know what We have enjoined upon them about their wives and those (slaves) whom their right hands possess, in order that there should be no difficulty on you. And Allaah is Ever Oft‑Forgiving, Most Merciful”

    [al-Ahzaab 33:50]

    “And those who guard their chastity (i.e. private parts from illegal sexual acts).

    Except from their wives or the (women slaves) whom their right hands possess for (then) they are not blameworthy.

    But whosoever seeks beyond that, then it is those who are trespassers”
    [al-Ma’aarij 70:29-31]

    Al-Tabari said:

    Allaah says, “And those who guard their chastity” i.e., protect their private parts from doing everything that Allaah has forbidden, but they are not to blame if they do not guard their chastity from their wives or from the female slaves whom their rights hands possess.

    Tafseer al-Tabari, 29/84

    Ibn Katheer said:

    Taking a concubine as well as a wife is permissible according to the law of Ibraaheem (peace be upon him). Ibraaheem did that with Haajar, when he took her as a concubine when he was married to Saarah.

    Tafseer Ibn Katheer, 1/383

    And Ibn Katheer also said:

    The phrase “and those (slaves) whom your right hand possesses — whom Allaah has given to you” [al-Ahzaab 33:50] means, it is permissible for you take concubines from among those whom you seized as war booty. He took possession of Safiyyah and Juwayriyah and he freed them and married them; he took possession of Rayhaanah bint Sham’oon al-Nadariyyah and Maariyah al-Qibtiyyah, the mother of his son Ibraaheem (peace be upon them both), and they were among his concubines, may Allaah be pleased with them both.

    Tafseer Ibn Katheer, 3/500

    The scholars are unanimously agreed that it is permissible.

    Ibn Qudaamah said:

    There is no dispute (among the scholars) that it is permissible to take concubines and to have intercourse with one’s slave woman, because Allaah says (interpretation of the meaning):

    “And those who guard their chastity (i.e. private parts from illegal sexual acts).

    Except from their wives or the (women slaves) whom their right hands possess for (then) they are not blameworthy.”

    [al-Ma’aarij 70:29-30]

    Maariyah al-Qibtiyyah was the umm walad (a slave woman who bore her master a child) of the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him), and she was the mother of Ibraaheem, the son of the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him), of whom he said, “Her son set her free.” Haajar, the mother of Isma’eel (peace be upon him), was the concubine of Ibraaheem the close friend (khaleel) of the Most Merciful (peace be upon him). ‘Umar ibn al-Khattaab (may Allaah be pleased with him) had a number of slave women who bore him children, to each of whom he left four hundred in his will. ‘Ali (may Allaah be pleased with him) had slave women who bore him children, as did many of the Sahaabah. ‘Ali ibn al-Husayn, al-Qaasim ibn Muhammad and Saalim ibn ‘Abd-Allaah were all born from slave mothers

    Al-Mughni, 10/441

    Al-Shaafa’i (may Allaah have mercy on him) said:

    Allaah says (interpretation of the meaning):

    “And those who guard their chastity (i.e. private parts from illegal sexual acts).

    Except from their wives or the (women slaves) whom their right hands possess for (then) they are not blameworthy.”

    [al-Ma’aarij 70:29-30]

    The Book of Allaah indicates that the sexual relationships that are permitted are only of two types, either marriage or those (women slaves) whom one’s right hand possesses.

    Al-Umm, 5/43.

    The wife has no right to object to her husband owning female slaves or to his having intercourse with them.

    And Allaah knows best.

    and remember http://www.thereligionofpeace.com/

  3. Just don’t be crying to me when you don’t have any clean underwear, Joe!

One Ebola, Two Eboli?

Posted on October 13th, 2014 at 14:05 by John Sinteur in category: batshitinsane, Pastafarian News


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  1. There’s that “joke” again.

    A small boy goes to confession.
    “Forgive me father, for I have sinned. I went to a brothel and had sex with three prostitutes.”
    “Whyever did you do that Johnny? Don’t you know that it’s a mortal sin?”
    “I know what it is and I want it.”
    “Don’t you know that you could go to Hell for it?”
    “I know what it is and I want it.”
    “Don’t you know that you could pick up a sexually transmitted disease?”
    “I know what it is and I want it.”
    “Whatever for? You would suffer horribly!”
    “Because if I get it, the maid will get it. If the maid gets it, my father will get it. If my father gets it, my mother will get it. If my mother gets it, the gardener will get it. And he’s the bastard I want. He killed my frog!”

Unfortunately, he’s not talking about Catholic priests

Posted on October 11th, 2014 at 10:44 by John Sinteur in category: batshitinsane, Pastafarian News


Vatican’s top judge: Keep kids away from ‘wrong, evil’ gays for their own protection

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  1. Clearly a follower of Jesus Christ…

No, you’re not

Posted on October 11th, 2014 at 10:30 by John Sinteur in category: batshitinsane, Pastafarian News


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  1. Way to sweep ebola under the rug.

  2. a variation on the same old crap we’ve heard about AIDS, the black death, etc.
    This never goes away. Just a Christian version of the Ghost shirt.

  3. Actually I think redemption technically happens after death, so you may not be so safe, Tile & Carpet World.

Obviously he’s not well versed in taqiyya.

Posted on October 10th, 2014 at 13:05 by John Sinteur in category: batshitinsane, Pastafarian News


Prominent member of Hizb ut-Tahrir, Wassim Doureihi, discusses the Prime Minister’s comments about extremist organisations.

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  1. Blimey! What a wonderful provocation. Just what the ratings need!

Wanted Woman Arrested After Demanding Police Remove Unflattering Facebook Photo

Posted on October 8th, 2014 at 22:35 by John Sinteur in category: batshitinsane


Ohio Police say a woman was so upset by the unflattering photo detectives posted to Facebook that she called them and demanded that it be removed, leading to her arrest.

“This is a first for us,” Denise Alex-Bouzounis, public information officer with the Columbus Police Department, told The Huffington Post. “She really didn’t want her face out there for everyone to see.”

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Saudi Arabia declares all atheists are terrorists in new law to crack down on political dissidents

Posted on October 8th, 2014 at 16:05 by John Sinteur in category: batshitinsane, Pastafarian News


Saudi Arabia has introduced a series of new laws which define atheists as terrorists, according to a report from Human Rights Watch.

In a string of royal decrees and an overarching new piece of legislation to deal with terrorism generally, the Saudi King Abdullah has clamped down on all forms of political dissent and protests that could “harm public order”.

The new laws have largely been brought in to combat the growing number of Saudis travelling to take part in the civil war in Syria, who have previously returned with newfound training and ideas about overthrowing the monarchy.

Yeah, all those atheists joining IS, it’s really a… wait, what?

If Saudi Arabia thought atheists were actually terrorists, they would donate millions to secular political groups.

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  1. Surely, we can give the Saudis credit for one thing they have more of than anyone else … transparency.

  2. @Rob: When the House of Saud falls it won’t be a laughing matter, but I did chortle a bit there :-)

  3. And we got rid of Saddam for this?

  4. Not convinced “when” is the appropriate term, Sue. Think I’d go with “if ever”.

  5. This makes sense. If the population did not believe, they could not be manipulated. And if that happened, no more House of Saud. I hope the decree backfires. And: I think it will fall someday, after the middle east emerges from the new dark ages to which it seems intent on rushing towards.

  6. Referring to enemies as atheists is just a reflex, like certain people using the terms “communist” or “socialist”.

    @Rob: I wouldn’t bet much on their ultimate survival. They may have funded (and certainly their citizens have funded) both Al Q. and IS.

    @Mykolas: We might end up in the dark too…

Once you’ve dehumanized drug offenders, it’s easy to steal their identities

Posted on October 8th, 2014 at 11:15 by John Sinteur in category: batshitinsane


Consider what the federal government is arguing here. It’s arguing that if you’re arrested for a drug crime, including a crime unserious enough to merit a sentence of probation, the government retains the power to (a) steal your identity, (b) use that identity for drug policing, thus making your name and face known to potentially dangerous criminals, (c) interact with those criminals while posing as you, which could subject you to reprisals from those criminals, (d) expose photos of your family, including children, to those criminals, and (e) do all of this without your consent, and with no regard for your safety or public reputation.

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Mexican Bishop Claims Allowing Gay Couples To Marry Will Lead To Man-Dog Unions

Posted on October 1st, 2014 at 14:03 by John Sinteur in category: batshitinsane, Pastafarian News


Jose Maria de la Torre Martin, the bishop of the Diocese of Aguascalientes, Mexico, found himself in hot water after criticizing a proposed state law that seeks to allow gay and lesbian couples to marry.


The Catholic bishop claimed this week that allowing gay couples to marry will lead to “allowing a man to marry a dog and they can inherit the puppies,” according to local sources.

His obsession with bestiality says so much about him that it’s really disturbing.

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  1. One has to wonder just how many “puppies” this bonehead has…

  2. But wait, the priests love (literally) puppies, especially Hush Puppies

  3. Ruff.

Apple Watch Sneak Peek

Posted on October 1st, 2014 at 10:46 by John Sinteur in category: Apple, batshitinsane

If you thought people waiting in line to buy an iPhone 6 was batshitinsane, check this:


Apple invited people to check out the new Apple Watch in person — for one day only — in Paris during Fashion Week, at the Colette boutique on Rue Saint Honoré.


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  1. No one creates buzz like Apple. It’s the 8th wonder.

  2. These look like genuine hipsters not placeholders.

Cop Asks for Man’s License, Shoots Him When He Reaches for It

Posted on September 29th, 2014 at 20:30 by John Sinteur in category: batshitinsane


In the era before cheap video technology, this would be a story about a police officer who reported that he shot a man during a traffic stop when the man dove into his car to grab a weapon. Absent images, many people would give the police officer the benefit of the doubt, even when the motorist turned out to be unarmed, on the theory that cops have no reason to shoot men who comply with their orders. The motorist’s behavior would be described as erratic and aggressive. People would believe that the cop reasonably feared for his life before shooting his gun.

But this is the era of the dash cam.

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  1. The cop fired 4 times at the perp from just a few feet away and hit him only once. I reckon he was fired for failing his marksmanship test.

Cop’s Tip For Not Getting Raped By A Cop: ‘Don’t Get Pulled Over’

Posted on September 25th, 2014 at 12:12 by John Sinteur in category: batshitinsane


In response to the arrests of three law enforcement officials in Oklahoma for sexually assaulting women while on the job, an Oklahoma Highway Patrol trooper told women they can avoid getting raped by a cop if they simply follow traffic laws.

Because a cop who is willing to violate the law to rape a woman would never cross the line of abusing his official power to pull over a law abiding citizen, right?


In one case, the victim told police that Holtzclaw broke into her home in March, kicked out her boyfriend and then forced her to perform sexual acts.

Let me guess – it’s clearly her fault for not having a stronger lock, and for dressing like that in her own home!

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  1. Militarized occupying force. Well-educated, well-trained, well-paid, well-armed. Alternately bored and terrified. Heroes.

  2. They’re so arrogant in their power that they don’t even care what we think anymore.

Federal Appeals Court Ridicules Florida Cops For Using SWAT Team To Check On Barbershop Licenses

Posted on September 22nd, 2014 at 14:46 by John Sinteur in category: batshitinsane


“It was a scene right out of a Hollywood movie,” the Court’s ruling began. “Teams from the OCSO [Orange County Sheriff’s Office] descended… with some team members dressed in ballistic vests and masks, and with guns drawn, the deputies rushed into their target destinations, handcuffed the stunned occupants—and demanded to see their barbers’ licenses. The Orange County Sheriff’s Office was providing muscle for the Florida Department of Business and Professional Regulation’s [DBPR] administrative inspection of barbershops to discover licensing violations.”

The Cout’s 44-page ruling, which will allow four barbers to proceed with a lawsuit that the cops violated their Fourth Amendment protection from unconstitutional searches, vividly describes how a team of local and state police ran amok—and then claimed immunity from prosecution, which the Court rejected, when the raid’s victims sued.

Notably, the ruling didn’t even talk about the blatant constitutional violations first, but instead snidely asked if the cops involved were complete idiots who thought they were so far above the law that they could ignore previous multiple rulings from the very same Court ordering cops not to conduct militarized SWAT raids as a routine tactic


“Upon discovering that barbering without a license is a 2nd-degree misdemeanor under Florida law, Vidler became intrigued by the possibility of a collaboration between the Dept. of Business and Professional Regulation (DBPR) and OCSO, and spent over a month… developing a plan for a joint sweep operation,” it said. “All of the targeted barbershops were businesses that serviced primarily African-American and Hispanic clientele.”

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  1. That’s freakin’ unbaweavable!

Texas Wants to Execute Man Who Killed Home Intruder Who Turned Out to Be SWAT Member

Posted on September 18th, 2014 at 22:43 by John Sinteur in category: batshitinsane


Attempting to serve a search warrant by entering a house through a window got Killeen, Texas, Police Detective Charles Dinwiddie shot in the face and killed last May. It was yet another SWAT raid organized for a purpose other than the reason they were invented. The police had a search warrant looking for narcotics at the home of Marvin Louis Guy, 49. They decided to serve this warrant at 5:30 in the morning and without knocking on his door. He opened fire on them, killing Dinwiddie and injuring three others.

Though they found a glass pipe, a grinder, and a pistol, they did not find any drugs. Former Reason Editor Radley Balko took note of the deadly raid in May at The Washington Post. A police informant apparently told them there were bags of cocaine inside the house, which sounds a lot like another familiar drug raid in Virginia that got an officer killed.

The Virginia case ended with Ryan Frederick in prison for 10 years despite his insistence he thought he was defending himself against in home intruders. He may end up lucky compared to Guy. Prosecutors in Texas are going to seek the death penalty against him. KWTX offers a dreadfully written summary that says next to nothing about the circumstances of the raid but gives Dinwiddie’s whole life story. Guy faces three additional charges of attempted capital murder for shooting the other officers. The story mentions the no-knock raid but fails to explain why it happened or the failure to find any drugs.

Ironic how law enforcement uses no-knock raids for the element of surprise, then claim the victim should have known it was the police.

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Attorney apologizes for ‘harsh’ letter on gay rights

Posted on September 18th, 2014 at 22:19 by John Sinteur in category: batshitinsane



A prominent Springfield attorney who came under fire for a letter he wrote about gay rights is now acknowledging the letter was “harsh” and apologizing.

Dee Wampler wrote a letter to several people with the Ozark Fire Department regarding a decision not to extend health benefits for same-sex spouses, including to the female captain who was pushing for benefits for her wife.

This morning, Wampler issued a statement in which he states his support for the state’s law banning gay marriage, but apologizes for the letter.

“My recent words in support of a local fire board decision, expressing that view should have been left unsaid and were harsh and ill-advised,” he wrote. “I did not intend to personally demean, but I am man enough to apologize to all those I have offended, and I ask all to accept my apology.”

I just have to steal a comment from reddit for this:


He had to send this letter.

Every day, he wakes up thinking about all of those gays. Literally, the moment he emerges from his slumber, in his bed … his warm bed with a down comforter, he is thinking about homosexual acts.

He needs to congratulate people for stopping “the gays”, because he understands just how easy it is for people to be “converted” by “the gay agenda”. You see, it all started when he was a kid in middle school. He was innocently reading through a “muscle” magazine – you know, so he could become a fit and moral person. But something about those oily pectoral muscles made his mind wander. Next thing you know, he realized the “gay agenda” sent that magazine to the bookstore, and it was all a plot – A PLOT, I TELL YA! – to make him “gay”. He narrowly escaped the grasp of the gays.

People need to be protected from that sort of thing, so he started collecting muscle and fitness type magazines, to investigate further. No, never does a single day pass without him concentrating on the evils of two sweaty, oily men, in tip-top physical condition, rutting violently together in homosexual ecstasy. He has been focused on this “scourge” ever since that fateful day of sweaty contemplation alone in his room.

He sees the gay conspiracy for what it is, and he wants someone else to stop the “evil, evil thoughts.”

Any day the “gay agenda” sees a setback, it puts just a little more time and space between him, and that glorious 10 minute pleasure session he delivered to himself, way back when he was a school lad looking at a fitness magazine.

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  1. No Virginia, lesbians don’t really want to be crammed down your throat.

  2. “Time and memorial”… I guess it doesn’t take much education to be a prominent Springfield attorney.

How the Hobby Lobby ruling is helping a member of Warren Jeffs’ polygamous church

Posted on September 18th, 2014 at 8:26 by John Sinteur in category: batshitinsane, Pastafarian News


A federal judge has ruled that a member of the Fundamentalist LDS Church does not have to answer questions about child labor violations because of the U.S. Supreme Court’s ruling in the Hobby Lobby case.

Vergel Steed refused to answer even the most basic questions in a recent deposition, because he is protected under the Religious Freedom Restoration Act.

“It is clear that Mr. Steed has raised the very defenses available under RFRA,” U.S. District Court Judge David Sam wrote in the order.

The U.S. Department of Labor took action against Paragon Contractors for a 2012 incident where hundreds of children were seen working in a field in Hurricane, picking pecans. In court filings, the Labor Department has suggested that FLDS leaders ordered children to be removed from school to work in the fields.

As part of their case, FLDS members have been deposed — including Steed. In a deposition obtained by FOX 13 on Tuesday, it appears Steed refused to answer many questions.


Steed’s attorney objected to the questions, saying he “retains a closely held religious belief that requires him not to speak openly about matters regarding the Church organization with anyone outside of his religious affiliation.”


“It is not for the Court to “inquir[e] into the theological merit of the belief in question,” Sam wrote, citing the Hobby Lobby decision. “The determination of what is a ‘religious’ belief or practice is more often than not a difficult and delicate task …. However, the resolution of that question is not to turn upon a judicial perception of the particular belief or practice in question; religious beliefs need not be acceptable, logical, consistent, or comprehensible to others in order to merit First Amendment protection.”

I’m going to start a new religion, the first tenet of which is “Armed robbery is simply our way of paying homage to our God.”

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  1. “Activist” judges are OK when they’re conservatives?

Matthew 6:5

Posted on September 14th, 2014 at 23:18 by John Sinteur in category: batshitinsane


Oh, Kanye. The acclaimed rapper/self-described Steve Jobs/newly minted Kardashian, who once rapped, “They tryna put me on the schoolbus with the space for the wheelchair,” halted a concert on Friday night after discovering that several audience members weren’t standing up to honor their Lord and Savior.

The setting was the Qantas Credit Union Arena in Sydney, Australia, and West reportedly announced, “I can’t do this song. I can’t do this show until everybody stand up… Unless you got a handicap pass and you get special parking and shit. ‘Imma see you if you ain’t standing up, believe me, I’m very good at that.” Then came the foot-in-mouth moment. Most of the fans got up and boogied, but soon West spotted a pair of concertgoers who’d remained in their seats, and refused to continue the show until they stood up and danced like the rest. One of those two singled-out fans raised a prosthetic limb, thereby proving that she did in fact “get special parking and shit,” to which West replied, “Okay, you fine.”

West then homed in on Fan No. 2, who was still seated. He stopped performing the tune “The Good Life” and declared, “This is the longest I’ve had to wait to do a song, it’s unbelievable.” The crowd was reportedly trying to clue Kanye in to his epic blunder, with the entire section making wheelchair signals with their arms. But to no avail. West sent his bulky bodyguard Pascal Duvier into the crowd to confirm that the seated fan was, in fact, in a wheelchair. When it was confirmed, West said, “He is in a wheelchair? It’s fine!”

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  1. Some people can only get fame by being extremely stupid or being on reality TV.

  2. I’ve heard of ladies waving their panties at music performances, never their artifical limbs…if he really was that special, perhaps he could have healed them before humiliating them?

  3. Aren’t Kanye fans, by definition, hadicapped?

Comcast Declares War on Tor

Posted on September 14th, 2014 at 20:48 by John Sinteur in category: batshitinsane


Users who try to use anonymity, or cover themselves up on the internet, are usually doing things that aren’t so-to-speak legal. We have the right to terminate, fine, or suspend your account at anytime due to you violating the rules. Do you have any other questions? Thank you for contacting Comcast, have a great day.

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What do you think of college campus police having military equipment?

Posted on September 12th, 2014 at 20:40 by John Sinteur in category: batshitinsane


The U.S. Department of Defense has given Northwestern State University and the University of Louisiana-Monroe police departments 12 M-16 weapons each, according to The Chronicle of Higher Education.

The two Louisiana schools are part of a larger group of 117 college and universities that acquired military equipment from the Defense Department.

“Campus police departments have used [a federal] program to obtain military equipment as mundane as men’s trousers (Yale University) and as serious as a mine-resistant, ambush-protected vehicle (Ohio State University),” wrote Dan Bauman for The Chronicle of Higher Education.

The schools didn’t have to pay a lot for the equipment. The defense department practically gives it away. Due to the winding down of wars in Iraq and Afghanistan, the U.S. military has a lot of surplus gear lying around, according to The Chronicle of Higher Education.

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  1. If this were the premise for a movie what comes next would be rather obvious.

Exodus 11:5, At-Tawbah 9:5

Posted on September 11th, 2014 at 13:45 by John Sinteur in category: batshitinsane, Pastafarian News

[ Obama addresses nation on fight against IS]:

“No religion condones the killing of innocents.”

I guess he has a different definition of “innocent” than most dictionaries have.

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  1. Lol, poor Obama. I didn’t hear the speech or read it, so I know nothing. In his defense, I would say he is a Lawyer not a Theologian.

    Also, interesting choice of verses:



    Here Hashem (the Jewish god, or actually his Angels) is going to kill the first born because the Pharaoh won’t release the Jews from their slavery. [[One might think that Hashem having infinite powers could think of a better way to do this but gods are sometimes mysterious.]]

    On the other hand:



    Here Allah is directing his faithful to kill those who refuse to convert to Islam. [[For some Muslims this includes Christians, because the Quran describes Christians as polytheists.]]

    I wonder if there are any verses from the Gospel (New Testament) promoting killing. Jesus is said to have said:



    Still as we all know– Islam is the Religion of Peace — http://www.thereligionofpeace.com/

  2. Matthew 5:17

  3. Jesus was a jew. His ministry was to the jews. He says this because the jews are to up hold the law.

    The 613 Mitzvos– http://www.jewfaq.org/613.htm don’t include Exodus 11-5 because Exodus 11-5 isn’t something Hashem is telling the Jews to do, it is something Hashem did.

    In the end we should be able to agree that religion is a spiritual thing for some people, but for many it is an extension of the state and is used to justify whatever the rulers want to do.

  4. “In the end we should be able to agree that…” suspiciously sounds like you’re trying to get some respect for religion.

    Let me quote Pat Condell on that:

    “If you criticize religion, then, every so often somebody will say to you – quite disapprovingly – ‘you may not have faith in god, but you could show a bit more respect for those people who do’.

    And, you might find yourself thinking ‘well actually, maybe they’re right. It wouldn’t hurt to show a bit more respect – after all, nobody likes to be told point-blank that their religion is a crock of delusional garbage and a force for evil in the world. That, what they call ‘faith’ is merely fear dressed up as virtue. And that their puerile beliefs are a strait-jacket on the whole of humanity.’

    That’s bound to put anybody’s nose out of joint.

    So yes, maybe I could show a bit more respect.

    The only fly in the ointment is – I don’t actually feel any respect. I have tried, I really have, and I feel just terrible about it, but it just isn’t there.

    I suppose I could lie to myself, and pretend for the sake of people’s feelings – because we all know how delicate and tender they can be these days.

    But, the bold truth is, I don’t actually care about their feelings – at all; not even slightly.

    Of course, I realize that should weigh heavily on my conscience – but luckily my conscience knows when it is being bullied and manipulated – so it doesn’t care either.

    My conscience knows that there is no earthly reason for anybody on this planet to respect religion – in any way. Indeed, purely on the evidence religion itself provides, in such regular abundance, there is every reason to actively disrespect it to the point of outright abuse.

    And quite frankly, the fact that religion gets so little abuse, compared to what it really deserves, I can only attribute to the unbelievable tolerance, restraint and plain good manners of atheists and secularists everywhere.

    So, if you are a religious person, and if you’re thinking of demanding more respect for your beliefs, please try to bear in mind that you and your religion are already getting way more respect than you’ve ever deserved. Your faith is a joke. Your god is a joke. He’s so absurd, he’s an embarrassment even to people who don’t believe in him – and he and you still have it all to prove. So far, no proof has been forthcoming, nor is it likely to be; as we all well know – so respect, I’m afraid, is out of the question. The best you can hope for is amused incredulity – and that would be on a good day.

    People say ‘well, you can only truly understand faith when you have faith’ – which I take to mean when you’ve suspended your critical faculties and hypnotized yourself into believing a load of fascist nonsense about your eternal soul, then, you’ll understand faith – well, I can certainly believe that.

    Faith peddlers like to put themselves beyond question by claiming that their faith ‘transcends reason’ – the very thing that calls it to account – how convenient. Yes, faith transcends reason – the way a criminal transcends the law. The word ‘transcendent’ is very popular with religious hustlers because they never have to explain precisely what they mean by it – other than some vague, superior state of understanding, more profound than ‘mere reason’ – which is crude and simplistic next to the subtleties and profundities of belief without evidence.

    If you hear a senior clergyman, and you will, using the word ‘transcendent’ to explain the nonsense he claims to believe, then you know two things: one, he doesn’t know what he’s talking about; and two, he doesn’t want you to know what he’s talking about either.

    Faith doesn’t transcend reason at all; faith sidesteps reason – it runs away from reason because reason threatens its cozy bubble of delusion. So faith disqualifies reason the way a Dutch criminal court disqualifies truth and the witnesses – and for much the same reason.

    If you’re a believer, your faith allows you to adopt a set of beliefs that make absolutely no sense, knowing that you won’t be measured by whether they make sense, but by the level of piety that you exhibit in believing them. In other words, your willingness to deny reality becomes a measure of your virtue.

    No wonder religion is so popular.

    But what a price you pay for this ‘virtue’. You’ve been persuaded that believing in the impossible is your only hope… how did that happen?

    And that your purpose is to worship something beyond your understanding, defined by and only accessible through, self-appointed intermediaries. Your thoughts, your words and your identity, are no longer solely yours to decide; but are subject to the approval of those who have assumed authority over you – through your faith.

    The people who’ve told you that you were born with something wrong with you – c’mon – in a state of ‘sin,’ no less. A condition that can only be cured by complete submission and obedience to them – surprise, surprise – from the moment you’re born ‘til the moment you die.

    And if all this doesn’t exactly flatter your ego – and why should it – Don’t worry, we can give it a special name to make you feel better, and persuade you that you’ve still got some dignity – let’s call it “faith”, and let’s deem it to be the highest and most noble and profound of all virtues; and let’s pretend that it comes from within. When we all know, that nothing about your religion is allowed to come from within – because that would give you strength and freedom – the two things your religion wants as far away from you as possible.

    Faith is the grip that clergy have over you.

    It’s the invisible rope around your neck that pulls you along the road they want you to travel – for their benefit, not yours.

    It’s a dead-end word.

    It’s a word of bondage.

    It’s a word that lets you believe what you’ve been told to believe -without feeling that you’ve been told what to believe, but you have – and you can stop pretending any time you like.

    It’s not a virtue – that’s the last thing it is.

    It’s an abdication from reality.

    It’s a dumb act of self-hypnosis.

    It’s a cowardly copout.

    It’s gullibility with a halo – and hiding behind it is like pretending to be an invalid.

    So, I don’t really understand exactly what it is that I’m supposed to respect.

    It seems to me, I’d need to be some kind of moral contortionist to respect something that noxious – something that depends for its existence on a closed-mind – and it is clearly dragging humanity in the wrong direction; giving us false ideas about ourselves, and about the nature of reality.

    I feel, if I respected that, I’d be needlessly contributing to the stupidity and ignorance of the human race – and that is one thing I don’t want on my conscience; no offense.


  5. Ah, John…don’t toy with little Joe’s most profoundly held beliefs :-)

  6. In refuting Obama, you should have used Pat Condell instead of the Quran and the Torah, it would have been more direct and to the point.

    PS, Jesus died for somebody’s sins, but not mine.

  7. [Quote]:

    The idea that any book was inspired by the creator of the universe is poison—intellectually, ethically, and politically. And nowhere is this poison currently doing more harm than in Muslim communities, East and West. Despite all the obvious barbarism in the Old Testament, and the dangerous eschatology of the New, it is relatively easy for Jews and Christians to divorce religion from politics and secular ethics. A single line in Matthew—“Render unto Caesar the things that are Caesar’s, and unto God the things that are God’s”—largely accounts for why the West isn’t still hostage to theocracy. The Koran contains a few lines that could be equally potent—for instance, “There is no compulsion in religion” (2:256)—but these sparks of tolerance are easily snuffed out. Transforming Islam into a truly benign faith will require a miracle of re-interpretation. And a few intrepid reformers, such as Maajid Nawaz, are doing their best to accomplish it.

    Many believe it unwise to discuss the link between Islam and the intolerance and violence we see in the Muslim world, fearing that it will increase the perception that the West is at war with the faith and cause millions of otherwise peaceful Muslims to rally to the jihadist cause. I admit that this concern isn’t obviously crazy—but it merely attests to the seriousness of the underlying problem. Religion produces a perverse solidarity that we must find some way to undercut. It causes in-group loyalty and out-group hostility, even when members of one’s own group are behaving like psychopaths.

    But it remains taboo in most societies to criticize a person’s religious beliefs. Even atheists tend to observe this taboo, and enforce it on others, because they believe that religion is necessary for many people. After all, life is difficult—and faith is a balm. Most people imagine that Iron Age philosophy represents the only available vessel for their spiritual hopes and existential concerns. This is an enduring problem for the forces of reason, because the most transformative experiences people have—bliss, devotion, self-transcendence—are currently anchored to the worst parts of culture and to ways of thinking that merely amplify superstition, self-deception, and conflict.

    Among all the harms caused by religion at this point in history, this is perhaps the most subtle: Even when it appears beneficial—inspiring people to gather in beautiful buildings to contemplate the mystery existence and their ethical commitments to one another—religion conveys the message that there is no intellectually defensible and nonsectarian way to do this. But there is. We can build strong communities and enjoy deeply moral and spiritual lives, without believing any divisive nonsense about the divine origin of specific books.

    And it is this misguided respect for revelation that explains why, in response to the starkest conceivable expression of religious fanaticism, President Obama has responded with euphemisms—and missiles. This may be the best we can hope for, given the state of our discourse about religion. Perhaps one day we will do “everything that we can to protect our people and the timeless values that we stand for.” But today, we won’t even honestly describe the motivations of our enemies. And in the act of lying to ourselves, we continue to pay lip service to the very delusions that empower them.

  8. Sounds like you have faith in reason.
    What was it you started to say about that inward something-or-other that sets you free?
    I’m not (believe me, I’m not!) a scholar of the ancient Greeks who wrote about this stuff, but isn’t reason just a construct that beats other decision-making processes?

  9. Sounds like you have faith in reason.

    If with the word “faith” you mean “Belief that does not rest on logical proof or material evidence” then the answer is no, I don’t.

The Right War for the Right Reasons

Posted on September 8th, 2014 at 20:23 by John Sinteur in category: batshitinsane, Quote

[March 12, 2003]:

But no one can plausibly argue that ridding the world of Saddam Hussein will not significantly improve the stability of the region and the security of American interests and values.

— John McCain

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  1. Right! That and $5 will get you a nice latte at Starbucks…

Baton Rouge cop resigns, accused of sending racially charged texts

Posted on September 6th, 2014 at 9:57 by John Sinteur in category: batshitinsane


A Baton Rouge police officer accused of sending racist text messages resigned Thursday, but NAACP leaders said they still want answers, particularly whether any of the arrests the officer made in the past may have been racially motivated.

Michael Elsbury, who has been with the department for about 15 years, still faces a criminal investigation even though he resigned, said Cpl. Don Coppola, a Baton Rouge Police spokesman.


Part of the string of texts read: “I wish someone would pull a Ferguson on them and take them out. I hate looking at those African monkeys at work … I enjoy arresting those thugs with their saggy pants.”

Another part of one of the texts reads: “They are nothing but a bunch of monkeys.”

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Megachurch Pastor says ‘gays must be put to death’

Posted on September 5th, 2014 at 22:33 by John Sinteur in category: batshitinsane, Pastafarian News


Claiming that being gay is a choice like drug abuse, the senior pastor for a megachurch in Tennessee says that “gays must be put to death” because God commands it.

Last Sunday, Brainerd Baptist Church Senior Pastor Robby Gallaty told his large congregation that Christians should never stop discriminating against homosexuals, claiming that gays could choose to be straight if they only accept Jesus Christ as their Lord and Savior.

Gallaty explained why gays should be put to death:

God said that the sins of the people had infected the very land in which they live. So what happens to people who engage in this activity, this sexual immoral activity? Go to Leviticus 20, God gives us the punishment for engaging in these sins… ‘If a man sleeps with a man as with a woman, they have both committed a detestable thing. They must be put to death. And their blood is on their own hands.’

Pastor Gallaty tried to justify his Biblically inspired hatred for gays and lesbians by repeatedly trying to argue that being gay is a choice, and some sort of rebellion against his imaginary God’s divine plan.

Caught in a gay sex scandal in 3…2…1…

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  1. Surely anyone who has read Leviticus must notice that it’s just a ridiculous list of prohibitions, perhaps it had utility back then as social control, but none of it is relevant now. If anyone wants an idea about what a mindless vengeful savage the old testament god is they should regard the story of Job. God does not come out well in this particular fantasy.

    What modern traveller would use such an absurd, archaic document as a guide book.

  2. http://biblehub.com/john/8-7.htm

    The Gospel of John (see above) says:

    When they kept on questioning him, he straightened up and said to them, “Let any one of you who is without sin be the first to throw a stone at her.”

    Since Christians are supposed to be followers of Christ Jesus, I would think they should place more weight on the Gospel than on the Torah. People like this pastor and those of his church who approve of his message are the real American Taliban– hate filled purveyors of ignorance.

  3. “Let any one of you who is without sin be the first to throw a stone at her.”

    Good advice and directly contradicts a lot in Leviticus. Which makes me wonder. If that wasn’t such a good law why did God make it? Has he since changed his mind? Shouldn’t it then be removed from the Bible, along with most of the rest of the OT?

  4. I see little different between this pastor and the ISIL/IS/ISIS thugs that are beheading people in the name of their beliefs. They are cut from the same cloth.

  5. Perhaps he is a bit cross having found out how few actual straights (in his terms) still exist. The rest of us are all out trying to be nice, doing good work and having a good time.

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