[Quote]:

The people did beseech the warrior to aid them. They were a simple people, capable only of rewarding him with gratitude and a larger-than-normal serving of Jell-O salad. The warrior considered the possible battles before him. While others may have shirked the duties, forcing the good people of Ferndale Street to prostrate themselves before the tyrants of Comcast, Linksys, and Geek Squad, the warrior could not chill his heart to these depths. He accepted the quest and strode bravely across the beige shag carpet of the living room.

[@rationalists:]

Newt Gingrich [was] asked what he’d have done with Terry Schiavo. Well, duh! He would have divorced her!

[@rationalists:]

Romney paid the Mormon Church 15% of his income. Paid America only 13.9%. There are no LDS leaders living in poverty. Any questions?

[@rationalists:]

Mitt Romney’s tax rate = 13.9%. Obama = 26%. That a Kenyan Muslim Socialist loves America twice as much as Romney? Priceless!

Love this guy.

[Quote]:

According to WantChinaTimes, Terry Gou, the head of Hon Hai Foxconn, the largest contract manufacturer in the world, had this to say at a recent meeting with his senior managers:"Hon Hai has a workforce of over one million worldwide and as human beings are also animals, to manage one million animals gives me a headache," said Hon Hai chairman Terry Gou at a recent year-end party, adding that he wants to learn from Chin Shih-chien, director of Taipei Zoo, regarding how animals should be managed.

Apparently there are no psychologists in China.

[Quote]:

Steve Ballmer Reboots

With the stock hung for 10 years, no one thought to reboot Ballmer until now?!

[Quote]:

During his Boxing Day sermon, the Bishop of Córdoba, Demetrio Fernández, said there was a conspiracy by the United Nations. “The Minister for Family of the Papal Government, Cardinal Antonelli, told me a few days ago in Zaragoza that UNESCO has a program for the next 20 years to make half the world population homosexual. To do this they have distinct programs, and will continue to implant the ideology that is already present in our schools.”

(Duration 1:31)

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I had gone to court to listen to our legal team argue a case to protect the First Amendment rights of our client, Twitter user @p0isAn0n, aka Guido Fawkes. That user, who wishes to remain anonymous throughout the proceedings, was the target of a Suffolk County Assistant District Attorney’s administrative subpoena to Twitter, dated December 14, 2011. As we wrote last week, the subpoena asked Twitter to hand over @p0isAn0n’s subscriber information, including our client’s IP address, which can be used to help track down someone’s physical residence.

[..]

The known knowns: the scrum of lawyers, defense and prosecution, addressed the judge. I saw the judge speak to the lawyers. Then I saw our attorneys return to their bench, closer to where I was sitting, out of earshot of the sidebar. But the ADA stayed with the judge. He spoke to her, with his back to the courtroom, for about ten minutes. Our attorneys didn’t get to hear what he said to her, didn’t have a chance to respond to whatever the government was saying about our client, about the case. It was frankly shocking.

After those ten minutes of secret government-judge conversation, our attorneys were invited back to the sidebar, whereupon the scrum of lawyers spoke with the judge for another ten or fifteen minutes. Then they dispersed. The judge uttered not one word to the open court. And that was it.

Stunned, I followed a group of reporters outside and listened as Attorney Krupp attempted to answer their questions. It was then I realized that the judge had impounded all the court records related to the case, and mandated complete secrecy governing the proceedings. The public wasn’t even to know whether our motion to quash had been approved or denied.

The press scrum was Kafkaesque to say the least.

‘Can you tell us what the judge decided?’

‘No.’

‘Did the judge grant your motion to quash the subpoena?’

‘I can’t say.’

A Jewish woman entered a hotel. There was a sign that read “Pets welcome, Jews not welcome.”

Undaunted by this, the Jewish lady Mrs. Rosenburg, asked the hotel owner for a room please.

The innkeeper said, “Sorry we have no vancancies.” Mrs. Rosenburg replied, “The sign says VACANCIES right there!”

The innkeeper said, “Mrs. Rosenburg, you know we don’t allow Jews here.”

Mrs. Rosenburg repiled, “I’m not jewish, I’m a bona-fide christian”.

The innkeeper said, “With a name like Rosenburg. Really? Well, for one, who is your savior?”

Mrs. Rosenburg replied calmly, “Why, Lord Jesus Christ of course”

The innkeeper, frowning said, “Oh really. Then tell me how JESUS was born?”

Mrs. Rosenburg replied with all decorum, “He was born of the virgin Mary”

The innkeeper said showing greater impatience, “And where was he born?”

Mrs Rosenburg, showing a small facial tick replied “In a small town of Bethehem in a manger.”

The innkeeper said, “That’s right…….and why was he born in a manger?”

Mrs Rosenburg slammed her fists on the counter and shouted, “BECAUSE SOME JUMPED UP GOYISHCHE SHMUCK OF AN INNKEEPER REFUSED TO GIVE A JEWISH LADY A ROOM”

[Quote]:

A US judge has signed a default judgment finding Iran, the Taliban and al-Qaida liable for the September 11, 2001 attacks.