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Cartoon

Posted on March 18th, 2013 at 11:54 by Desiato in category: Cartoon

danziger-2013-03-17


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  1. The new pope is elected by the cardinals. He appears in front of them all for the first time. Someone asks him how it feels to be in charge of this ancient institution.
    He replies, “Let me be frank…”

    Sorry, but I’m totally poped out. Is it me, or is the world media worse than ever? I’ve seen a few pontiffs come and go and I don’t remember this carpet bombing of papist bollocks.

  2. I hardly leave remarks, however i did some searching and wound up here The daily irrelevant Cartoon.
    And I actually do have 2 questions for you if you do not mind.
    Could it be just me or does it seem like some of these responses appear like coming from brain dead people?
    :-P And, if you are posting at additional places,
    I’d like to follow everything new you have to post. Could you list of every one of your social sites like your twitter feed, Facebook page or linkedin profile?

Bankraub auf Zypriotisch

Posted on March 17th, 2013 at 20:52 by John Sinteur in category: Cartoon

bankraub_auf_zypriotisch_1955825


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  1. Funny, but at the same time, that’s what should have happened in Greece. At least with the top 20% of depositors.

  2. Let me guess the translation – Bank Robbery in Cyprus… :-)

  3. Bank Robbery in Cypriot (as in the language of the Cyprus people)

    compare to

    Bankraub auf Englisch -> Bank robbery in English

  4. I would translate it as “the Cypriotic way”.

Cartoons

Posted on March 17th, 2013 at 10:37 by John Sinteur in category: Cartoon


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Cartoons

Posted on March 13th, 2013 at 17:42 by John Sinteur in category: Cartoon


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iTunes in my Butt

Posted on March 13th, 2013 at 17:18 by John Sinteur in category: Funny!

cloud-to-butt is an open-source extension for Firefox, Chrome, and Safari that replaces all instances of “the cloud” with “my butt.”

BFIk5L5CYAAc9XP


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Hugo Chávez

Posted on March 12th, 2013 at 13:19 by John Sinteur in category: Joke

Screen Shot 2013-03-12 at 13.16.41


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  1. I’m such a fan of Ralph Laurens, I had his initials stamped on the soles of my shoes…

    Thanks, I’m here all week, remember to tip your waitress.

What is your best programmer joke?

Posted on March 8th, 2013 at 13:27 by Desiato in category: Funny!

[Quote]:

A SQL query goes into a bar, walks up to two tables and asks, "Can I join you?"


["hip","hip"]

(hip hip array!)


Programming is like sex:

One mistake and you have to support it for the rest of your life.


Why programmers like UNIX:

unzip, strip, touch, finger, grep, mount, fsck, more, yes, fsck, fsck, fsck, umount, sleep


Why doesn’t C++ have a garbage collector?

Because there would be nothing left!


Q: Why did the programmer quit his job?

A: Because he didn’t get arrays.



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  1. “A SQL query goes into a bar, walks up to two tables and asks, ‘Can I join you?’”
    Continued: “One of the tables replies: ‘I would like to, but I am only here for the view’”

    And a classic:

    “There are 10 types of people. Those who don’t know how to count in binary, those who do, and those who know indexing starts at 0″

  2. The fact that people pay good money for bad code and then pay good people to fix it ;-)

  3. There are 10 kinds of people in the world — those who understand trinary, those who don’t understand trinary and those who mistake it for binary

  4. Q: How do you tell an introverted computer scientist from an extroverted computer scientist?

    A: An extroverted computer scientist looks at your shoes when he talks to you.

  5. Or, to follow up on Sue:

    A man flying in a hot air balloon suddenly realizes he’s lost. He reduces height and spots a man down below. He lowers the balloon further and shouts to get directions, “Excuse me, can you tell me where I am?”

    The man below says: “Yes. You’re in a hot air balloon, hovering 30 feet above this field.”

    “You must work in Information Technology,” says the balloonist.

    “I do” replies the man. “How did you know?”

    “Well,” says the balloonist, “everything you have told me is technically correct, but It’s of no use to anyone.”

    The man below replies, “You must work in management.”

    “I do,” replies the balloonist, “But how’d you know?”*

    “Well”, says the man, “you don’t know where you are or where you’re going, but you expect me to be able to help. You’re in the same position you were before we met, but now it’s my fault.”

  6. A physicist, an engineer and a programmer were in a car driving over a steep alpine pass when the brakes failed. The car was getting faster and faster, they were struggling to get round the corners and once or twice only the feeble crash barrier saved them from crashing down the side of the mountain. They were sure they were all going to die, when suddenly they spotted an escape lane. They pulled into the escape lane, and came safely to a halt.

    The physicist said “We need to model the friction in the brake pads and the resultant temperature rise, see if we can work out why they failed”.

    The engineer said “I think I’ve got a few spanners in the back. I’ll take a look and see if I can work out what’s wrong”.

    The programmer said “Why don’t we get going again and see if it’s reproducible?”

  7. Q: “Whats the object-oriented way to become wealthy?”

    A: Inheritance

  8. I called the janitor the other day to see what he could do about my dingy linoleum floor. He said he would have been happy to loan me a polisher, but that he hadn’t the slightest idea what he had done with it. I told him not to worry about it – that as a programmer it wasn’t the first time I had experienced a buffer allocation failure due to a memory error.

  9. @John: Are you done now?

  10. yep.

Cartoons

Posted on March 6th, 2013 at 9:25 by John Sinteur in category: Cartoon


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Their patients are mostly Australian so no worries mate.

Posted on March 5th, 2013 at 18:11 by John Sinteur in category: Funny!

zWujZnI


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Comments:

  1. I guess they didn’t have womb for “gynecology”.

Cartoons

Posted on March 5th, 2013 at 9:17 by John Sinteur in category: Cartoon


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Cartoons

Posted on March 3rd, 2013 at 11:15 by John Sinteur in category: Cartoon


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Part of the CA unemployment package

Posted on March 1st, 2013 at 9:23 by John Sinteur in category: What were they thinking?

7JahtRA


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Cartoons

Posted on February 23rd, 2013 at 8:58 by John Sinteur in category: Cartoon


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Unicode obelisk

Posted on February 22nd, 2013 at 15:32 by Desiato in category: ¿ʞɔnɟ ǝɥʇ ʇɐɥʍ

Given that ASCII has always had an asterisk character, why hasn’t the Unicode design committee had the sense of humor to add an obelisk character?


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  1. Contrived, but you get the “I snorted coffee through my nasal passages” prize for this morning, Mr. D!

  2. You’re welcome! It’s just something that came up in conversation. :)

  3. That’s really an Idée fixe with you, eh?

  4. Bon, je ne vais pas menhir…

Why the world isn’t running out of oil

Posted on February 21st, 2013 at 12:34 by John Sinteur in category: ¿ʞɔnɟ ǝɥʇ ʇɐɥʍ

[Quote]:

The 75-page study, by oil executive Leonardo Maugeri, was based on a field-by-field analysis of most of the major oil exploration and development projects in the world, and it predicted a 20 per cent increase in global oil production by 2020.

Well if you can’t trust an oil executive that says it’s not necessary to switch to alternate fuels, then I guess you just can’t trust anyone.


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  1. A 20-percent increase in oil production in 7 years is not going to cover the projected happy-path world growth in energy demand, is it?

The keming is a bit off..

Posted on February 19th, 2013 at 13:36 by John Sinteur in category: Funny!

jICFcq0


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  1. That’s my sodding van!

Cartoons

Posted on February 16th, 2013 at 10:37 by John Sinteur in category: Cartoon


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Asteroids

Posted on February 15th, 2013 at 17:31 by Paul Jay in category: Funny!, Great Picture

58811_551345614886454_2131493785_n


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Happy Valentine!

Posted on February 14th, 2013 at 8:54 by John Sinteur in category: Funny!

K19gThx


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or perhaps because of his spelling skills

Posted on February 13th, 2013 at 21:15 by John Sinteur in category: Funny!

bJDa4SO


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  1. He accidentally added exspelled and the number 4, but other than that he’s knows pretty well what he’s doing.

CNN Anchor Asks Bill Nye If Global Warming Had Anything To Do With A Near-Earth Asteroid

Posted on February 12th, 2013 at 18:18 by John Sinteur in category: ¿ʞɔnɟ ǝɥʇ ʇɐɥʍ, Foyer of Ennui (just short of the Hall of Shame)

[Quote]:

After wrapping up a Saturday afternoon segment on the impact climate change may have had on the extreme winter weather that hit the Northeast this weekend, CNN anchor Deb Feyerick turned to a feature on a large asteroid that will just miss earth as it passes by.

“We want to bring in our science guy, Bill Nye, and talk about something else that’s falling from the sky, and that is an asteroid,” said Feyerick. “What’s coming our way? Is this the effect of, perhaps, global warming? Or is this just some meteoric occasion?”


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  1. This shows the importance of blond hair as a qualification for “news anchor”.

Twitter, Amex enabling shopping, 140 characters at a time

Posted on February 12th, 2013 at 17:07 by John Sinteur in category: ¿ʞɔnɟ ǝɥʇ ʇɐɥʍ, If you're in marketing, kill yourself, What were they thinking?

[Quote]:

According to an Amex Web page, the arrangement works like this. Amex cardholders first sync their card with Twitter. Then, when they come across products that are eligible to purchase under the plan — products that American Express will promote through a Twitter feed — they simply send out a tweet that includes a special hashtag. Amex will then send them an @-reply with a confirming hashtag. Finally, the buyer has to send out a second tweet with the special hashtag within 15 minutes.

I’m going to “synch” my credit card with my twitter account?

And I’m going to wait for them to send me tweets?

And then I’m going to tweet them back when I want to buy something?

Why would I want to do this?


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Cartoons

Posted on February 9th, 2013 at 20:14 by John Sinteur in category: Cartoon


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It was him!

Posted on February 8th, 2013 at 20:37 by John Sinteur in category: Funny!

Z3B4N7c


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  1. Uh?

    What, he robbed someone of their golden?

Fox News expert on solar energy: Germany gets “a lot more sun than we do.”

Posted on February 8th, 2013 at 13:31 by John Sinteur in category: Foyer of Ennui (just short of the Hall of Shame), What were they thinking?

[Quote]:

Thanks to Fox News and its expert commentators, millions of Americans now understand the real, hidden reason why Germany’s solar-energy industry is so much further along than ours. Turns out it has nothing to do with the fact that Germany’s government has long supported the industry far more generously, with policies like feed-in tariffs that stimulate investment in green technologies. No, the real reason is much simpler, explained a trio of journalists on Fox & Friends: It’s always sunny in Germany!

“The industry’s future looks dim,” intoned host Gretchen Carlson at the beginning of the segment, which was preserved for posterity by the liberal blog Media Matters for America. She and her co-host went on to ridicule Obama’s “failed” solar subsidies, adding, “The United States simply hasn’t figured out how to do solar cheaply and effectively. You look at the country of Germany, it’s working out great for them.” Near the end of the segment, it occurred to Carlson to ask her expert guest, Fox Business reporter Shibani Joshi, why it might be that Germany’s solar-power sector is doing so much better. “What was Germany doing correct? Are they just a smaller country, and that made it more feasible?” Carlson asked.

Joshi’s jaw-dropping response: “They’re a smaller country, and they’ve got lots of sun. Right? They’ve got a lot more sun than we do.” In case that wasn’t clear enough for some viewers, Joshi went on: “The problem is it’s a cloudy day and it’s raining, you’re not gonna have it.” Sure, California might get sun now and then, Joshi conceded, “but here on the East Coast, it’s just not going to work.”

The vast Basin-and-Range district of Nuremberg, the Mojave area around Stuttgart, the Sonoran expanse of Bremen, the wide open praries of Munich, the Saxon Death Valley….

And who could forget the Alpine salt flats!


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  1. Am I being weird or are the many brief clips of Mr. Obama saying, “Clean energy” over and over designed to trigger some kind of cognitive meltdown in the target audience of dead, white males? (The reason that only ugly men and pretty women with lots of makeup and cleavage are depicted is too obvious to mention).

Facebook will be closed for maintenance between Feb 29-31

Posted on February 7th, 2013 at 18:40 by John Sinteur in category: ¿ʞɔnɟ ǝɥʇ ʇɐɥʍ, Funny!

[Quote]:

Messages have been spreading on Facebook claiming that the social network will be closed between February 29th and February 31st, 2013.

And, of course, it’s kinda true. You won’t be able to log into Facebook on February 29th, February 30th or February 31st this year. Nor will you have much luck, although the messages don’t mention this, on June 31st.


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  1. Come on. You cant be that thick to fall for this one.

ID, please!

Posted on February 7th, 2013 at 18:00 by John Sinteur in category: Joke

Australian Prime Minister, Julia Gillard, walked into a branch of the Commonwealth Bank to cash a cheque. Approaching the cashier she said “Good morning, could you please cash this cheque for me?” The clerk replies “It would be my pleasure, mam. Could I see your ID please?”

Julia said “Well I didn’t bring my ID with me as I didn’t think there was any need to. I am Julia Gillard you know – the Prime Minister!”

Clerk: “I’m sorry, but with all the regulations, monitoring of the banks because of imposters, fraud, forgers and the like, I must insist on proof of identity”. Julia: “Just ask anyone here at the bank who I am and they will tell you. Everybody knows me!”

Clerk: “I am very sorry Madam Prime Minister. These are the bank rules and I must follow them”. Julia: “And I need this cheque cashed!!”

Clerk: “Perhaps there’s another way. One day Greg Norman came into the bank without ID. To prove he was Greg Norman he pulled out his putter and made a beautiful putt across the bank into a cup. With that shot we knew him to be Greg Norman and cashed his cheque”.

“Another time, Shane Warne came in without ID. He pulled out a cricket ball and bowled a fabulous spinner kick where the ball landed in my coffee mug. With that spectacular bowl we cashed his cheque. So mam, what can you do to prove that it is you, and only you, the Prime Minister?”

Julia stood there thinking. Finally she says “Honestly, I can’t think of a single thing I’m good at”.

Clerk: “Will that be $50 notes or $100 notes, Prime Minister?”


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  1. She’s pretty good at tongue-lashing misogynistic right-wingers, but I can see the finer points of such wit may not be appreciated in a joke where all the “good” people are sports “heroes”.

I disagree

Posted on February 7th, 2013 at 12:20 by John Sinteur in category: Funny!

kUkRSgg


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Yahoo! Mail

Posted on February 6th, 2013 at 21:17 by Paul Jay in category: Funny!

yahoo


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  1. India?

Cartoons

Posted on February 6th, 2013 at 10:48 by John Sinteur in category: Cartoon


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