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Creationist Cosmos

Posted on April 15th, 2014 at 17:19 by John Sinteur in category: Pastafarian News

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  1. This is so funny, but sadly there are millions of people in USA that believe this stuff.

    I had someone tell me about Satan and fossils about 40 years ago, still makes me sad that a college graduate could be so ignorant.

    Carl Sagan – Demon Haunted World:


  2. @Joe: Great link. A fantastic book with an excellent list of fallacies in the chapter on baloney detection.

Mike Huckabee: Not ‘homophobic’ but on the ‘right side of the Bible’

Posted on April 13th, 2014 at 15:08 by John Sinteur in category: Pastafarian News

(while he wears a silk tie, cotton shirt and wool jacket)

And the bible is on the wrong side of morality, equality, math, science, logic, consistency, and the very basics of strory-telling.

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  1. And it wasn’t written by white guys.

Pope assumes responsibility for priest sex abuse

Posted on April 12th, 2014 at 16:21 by John Sinteur in category: Pastafarian News


Pope Francis said Friday he took personal responsibility for the “evil” of priests who raped and molested children, asking forgiveness from victims and saying the church must be even bolder in its efforts to protect the young. It was the first time a pope has taken personal responsibility for the sex crimes of his priests and begged forgiveness.

So are you personally going to serve all those multi-year sentences the perps should have gotten, or are you going to send them to the authorities now?

No? Pretty empty gesture then.

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  1. What of the personal responsibility of the people that supported this criminal activity knowing it was their kids that were being raped?

  2. @chas: You mean the sheep, er, the flock, right?

Rules Are for Schmucks: House Rules

Posted on April 12th, 2014 at 15:00 by John Sinteur in category: Pastafarian News


In 2012 a married couple in Massachusetts negotiated with the Catholic Diocese of Worcester to purchase a mansion previously used as a retreat center. They were puzzled when negotiations seemed to stall. Then, in an act of sublime stupidity, the church’s real estate broker accidentally forwarded them a private email from Monsignor Thomas Sullivan, chancellor of the diocese, instructing her to stop dealing with these potential buyers because of the possibility they might use the house to conduct gay weddings. The married couple, you see, were both men.

They sued, and now the attorney general of Massachusetts is weighing in on their side. What’s truly astonishing in this day and age is that the church is contesting the case. You would think they’d instead act like a ten-year-old with her hand caught in the cookie jar: “Oops! My bad.” Instead, they are asserting their constitutional right to sell or not sell to whomever they please, as part of their free exercise of religion. As their lawyer puts it, “The legal question is: Do we have the right to refuse to sell the property for a use that we don’t approve of, that the diocese would not approve of?”


What’s truly memorable here is Monsignor Sullivan’s explanation of his position. “We wouldn’t sell our churches and our properties to any of a number of things that would reflect badly on the church,” he said. “These buildings are sacred to the memory of Catholics.”

A fascinating point of view, when you consider why the diocese is selling this particular property in the first place. For many years, this retreat center served as home base to a ring of pedophile priests, who committed the grave sin of getting caught. The huge financial payouts to the victims are what caused it to shut down and be put on the real estate market in the first place. Now, of course, the hallowed ground where this all occurred is too “sacred to the memory of Catholics” to allow a future legal wedding that might “reflect badly on the church.”

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Haters of the Lost Ark

Posted on April 10th, 2014 at 9:50 by John Sinteur in category: Pastafarian News

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  1. Watched that last night. Great episode.

The irony, oh it burns!

Posted on March 22nd, 2014 at 14:05 by John Sinteur in category: Pastafarian News


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  1. The irony is the Taliban are here, as well as there.

  2. @Sue W.
    The sad part is that these id10t’s don’t recognize that they are the Taliban of the west… :-(

Regular readers don’t need a name, and understand why I don’t give one.

Posted on March 20th, 2014 at 20:30 by John Sinteur in category: Pastafarian News

I have never wished a man dead, but I have read many an obituary with great pleasure.

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  1. Mr Darrow had a way with words. :)

  2. I won’t be attending (or picketing) the funeral, but I will send a nice letter saying I approve of it.

  3. Or to quote Hitchens, if they give the man an enema, they can bury him in a match box.

  4. Those whom the gods love, die young.

Silence condemned girls to pedophile

Posted on March 17th, 2014 at 11:09 by John Sinteur in category: Pastafarian News


Principal Terry Hayes, assistant principal Megan Wagstaff, student protection officer Catherine Long and senior Catholic Education Office staff Chris Fry and Ian Hunter first heard pedophilia allegations against a Toowoomba primary school teacher Gerry Byrnes in September 2007.

None of them ever told police or parents.

The former bishop of Toowoomba, Bill Morris, who didn’t hear about the abuse until after Byrnes’ 2008 arrest, can’t understand why all five failed to report him.

“It’s stunning, I know. I can’t get my head around it. Like I said to someone – well, we spoke about it recently. It’s not rocket science,” the bishop told the Royal Commission into Institutional Responses to Child Sexual Abuse on Monday.

The Catholic Church has proved it had a system on paper to report pedophilia, but witnesses have spoken of a more deeply ingrained culture of silence and protecting the Church.

“Do not compromise the bishop,” was the motto of the diocese at the time, claimed Mr Hayes, Mr Fry and Mr Hunter.

Bishop Morris said Church culture was to not believe child sex abuse victims.

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  1. This bishop was booted out by the last pope for telling everyone he was in favour of the ordination of women (gasp!), allowing clergy to marry, etc.

    He perhaps underestimated the desire for refuge from reality of his flock.


Posted on March 15th, 2014 at 13:27 by John Sinteur in category: Pastafarian News

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Man Saved From Submerged Car Credits God’s Grace For the Rescue… and Prepares to Sue His First Responders

Posted on March 15th, 2014 at 13:22 by John Sinteur in category: batshitinsane, Pastafarian News


A Colorado man who was rescued from his submerged car by first responders now claims, via his lawyer, that it was something else that saved him: grace, presumably of the divine kind.

And he’s getting ready to sue the people who pulled him to safety – because  he says they took too long to show up.

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  1. Even his ambulance chaser lawyer isn’t prepared to sue God.

God’s Wife Edited Out of the Bible

Posted on March 15th, 2014 at 13:09 by John Sinteur in category: Pastafarian News


God had a wife, Asherah, whom the Book of Kings suggests was worshiped alongside Yahweh in his temple in Israel, according to an Oxford scholar.

In 1967, Raphael Patai was the first historian to mention that the ancient Israelites worshiped both Yahweh and Asherah. The theory has gained new prominence due to the research of Francesca Stavrakopoulou, who began her work at Oxford and is now a senior lecturer in the department of Theology and Religion at the University of Exeter.


The ancient Israelites were polytheists, Brody told Discovery News, “with only a small minority worshiping Yahweh alone before the historic events of 586 B.C.” In that year, an elite community within Judea was exiled to Babylon and the Temple in Jerusalem was destroyed. This, Brody said, led to “a more universal vision of strict monotheism: one god not only for Judah, but for all of the nations.

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  1. It sounds like that Yahweh and Asherah were the Israelite version of Shiva and Shakti, Rama and Sita, Brahma and Saraswati, et al. This is the eternal pair – consciousness and creative energy. In the terms of the Sanskrit poem (spelt as well as I can in English), “Shiva shatyatmakang Brahma” – the combination of Shiva and Shakti (consciousness and energy) creates God (the universe).

  2. Yeah, we’ve all experienced the creeping misogyny of mythology. I mean who hears anything about Minnie Mouse anymore? Or Daisy Duck?

Some people have to tell you how religious they are because it isn’t apparent by their actions.

Posted on March 11th, 2014 at 15:53 by John Sinteur in category: Pastafarian News


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  1. I used this photo to test the Sell Your Car advertisement, it said you just had to input the registration number of the car and a valuation would be forthcoming. But no, they seem to want far too much information, honestly, I would just be guessing at the mileage.

    The Ford Freestar is not even sold in Europe.

    I can confirm that praying didn’t help the search.

  2. Wh isn’t it in mirror writing?

Pope says “no-one has done more” than Catholic Church to tackle child abuse

Posted on March 6th, 2014 at 16:51 by John Sinteur in category: Pastafarian News


Pope Francis has defended the Roman Catholic Church saying ‘no-one has done more’ to root out paedophilia.

Walk into any crowded place, swing a cat, and you’re sure to hit ten people who have done more.

Then again, they also caused most of it in the first place, so they had more to do..

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  1. Who knows how much they did behind closed doors. Maybe what’s publicly known is only a fraction.

  2. Read a fuller quote of his comments. Pfffff. Ugh.

  3. “No-one has done more” means nothing. In English at least the phrase is famous as weasel words. It’s a sign of bad faith imo. Just sayin’.

    “Now that I’ve found Jesus, I don’t smoke dope no more…
    (Don’t smoke it no less neither…)”

  4. This is a Catholic thing. It was their children that were being molested. I’m sure they’ll find relief in the pope’s words.

White Homosexual Takes Black Woman’s Man – and it is Obama who caused it all!

Posted on February 28th, 2014 at 11:25 by John Sinteur in category: batshitinsane, Pastafarian News

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  1. I’ll betcha $10 that preacher is gay. Can we let him know somehow that that is ok? Poor guy is really struggling with a lot of guilt and anxiety. Dude, really, it’s ok.

  2. He does very upset. Did someone ask him out?

Los Angeles bishop kept altar boy list from police

Posted on February 20th, 2014 at 14:25 by John Sinteur in category: Pastafarian News


When Los Angeles police were investigating allegations of child abuse by a Roman Catholic priest in 1988, they asked for a list of altar boys at the last parish where the priest worked.

Archbishop Roger Mahony told a subordinate not to give the list, saying he didn’t want the boys to be scarred by the investigation and that he felt the altar boys were too old to be potential victims, according to a February 2013 deposition made public Wednesday.

The detectives investigating allegations against Nicolas Aguilar Rivera, a visiting Mexican priest, ultimately got the names of the boys from parish families. They determined the priest molested at least 26 boys during his 10 months in Los Angeles, according to the priest’s confidential archdiocese file and police records made public by attorneys for the victims.

Twenty-five of the alleged victims were altar boys and the 26th was training with the priest to be one, said Anthony DeMarco, a plaintiff attorney. It’s not clear what impact Mahony’s action had on the investigation, though at the time police complained that the archdiocese wasn’t fully cooperating.

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Hello, Do You Have A Moment To Tell Me About Jesus Christ?

Posted on February 15th, 2014 at 20:54 by John Sinteur in category: Pastafarian News


Hello, sorry to bother you, but I was hoping I could borrow just a minute of your time. You see, lately I’ve been thinking about whether there’s something more to life, something I’ve been missing. There are even times when I feel like I’ve lost my way and may never find it again. So while I really don’t want to intrude, I was wondering if you might have a moment to tell me about our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ.

It won’t take long.

Would you mind coming in and sitting down? Just to speak with me for a little bit? If now’s not a good time, don’t worry. You can come back. Do you have a pamphlet or something? It would be great to have some information about how God is always there for me. Though I suppose it isn’t possible that God could be there for me all the time, is it?

Anyhow, if you have some literature—even a whole book—maybe you could leave it with me so that I can look it over, and then you could stop by and talk to me about it later, whenever it’s convenient for you. Better yet, is there a place in my community I could visit to find out more about the sacrifice Jesus made for me? I’d be interested in learning about something like that.

Also, I haven’t heard the good news, but I certainly would like to.

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Well, except “Allison”

Posted on February 3rd, 2014 at 19:55 by John Sinteur in category: Pastafarian News


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Babylonian tale of round ark draws ire from some Christian circles

Posted on February 1st, 2014 at 13:08 by John Sinteur in category: batshitinsane, Pastafarian News


A recently deciphered 4,000-year-old clay tablet from ancient Mesopotamia is putting a new spin on the biblical tale of the flood and Noah’s Ark — and that’s causing consternation among some Christian fundamentalists.

The Book of Genesis includes detailed specifications for the giant boat on which all kinds of animals were placed, two by two, to shelter from 40 days and 40 nights of rain. The wooden ark was to measure about 450 feet long, 75 feet wide and 30 feet high (300 by 50 by 30 cubits, or 137 by 23 by 13 meters).

All well and good: But the specifications listed on the Babylonian “Ark Tablet,” which is now on display at the British Museum, are totally different. The Babylonian boat was supposed to be made of braided rope, stiffened by wooden spars and sealed with bitumen. And it was supposed to have a round base, measuring 230 feet wide (70 meters wide).

“It was really a heart-stopping moment — the discovery that the boat was to be a round boat,” Irving Finkel, a curator at the museum, told The Associated Press. “That was a real surprise.”


“Because the Bible is God’s inspired Word, it gives us the true account,” Ham wrote. “The other flood legends are man’s changed versions of the event called Noah’s Flood, which occurred close to 4,400 years ago!”

Fans of Ham’s Facebook page took up the argument and rejected Finkel’s claims. “This is just another clever attempt from Satan to try to disprove or distort the existence of the ark,” one said. Another wrote, “A round ark would have sunk.”

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  1. Warms the coracles of your heart, doesn’t it?

Salvation Army locked boys in cage, raped and beat them, royal commission hears

Posted on January 28th, 2014 at 16:47 by John Sinteur in category: Pastafarian News


Young boys were locked in a cage for days on end as part of a brutal regime of physical and sexual abuse meted out to dozens of youngsters at Salvation Army homes in the 1950s, ’60s and ’70s, a royal commission into child-sex abuse has heard.And the Salvation Army’s leadership often failed to discipline or remove the perpetrators, but simply moved them to other homes where they frequently continued the abuse.The revelations came during the first public hearing in Sydney by the Royal Commission into Institutional Responses to Child Sexual Abuse for 2014.

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A History of Pain

Posted on January 23rd, 2014 at 11:10 by John Sinteur in category: Pastafarian News


As part of a settlement between the Archdiocese of Chicago and the victims of 30 pedophile priests, a cache of 6000 documents has been made public, detailing the Catholic Church’s efforts over many years to cover up sexual abuse and protect accused priests.

And this is just Chicago…

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How the most famous white evangelical with a disability became the public face of the white evangelical campaign against the rights of persons with disabilities

Posted on January 23rd, 2014 at 10:05 by John Sinteur in category: batshitinsane, Pastafarian News


The United Nations’ Convention on the Rights of Persons With Disabilities is a diplomatic effort to encourage every nation to respect those rights in the same way the United States has ever since President George H.W. Bush signed the Americans With Disabilities Act back in 1990.

Since the U.S. law served as a model for the U.N. Convention, nothing in America would change if the convention were ratified by the U.S. U.S. ratification would, however, make a significant different for persons with disabilities in other countries, since America is a big, influential nation and its support for — or withholding of support from — this effort affects whether or not its regarded as a serious effort whose reforms should be implemented in meaningful ways. It also makes a significant difference as to how the U.S. itself is perceived in and by those other nations. Is the U.S. a we’ve-got-ours-screw-you nation? Or does its concern for human rights extend beyond its own borders? Does America follow its principles or is it hypocritical?

Yet the United States has not ratified this convention. The United States Senate voted not to do so.

Why not? Well because of Nicolae Carpathia and Agenda 21 and the global conspiracy of the Illuminati and the international Jewish bankers, of course. Which is to say because of a vocal faction of white evangelicals who oppose this convention as part of their fantasy role-playing battle against imaginary monsters.

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Repairs begin on iconic Rio Christ the Redeemer statue

Posted on January 22nd, 2014 at 16:16 by John Sinteur in category: Pastafarian News


Officials say they will place more lightning rods on the statue to try to prevent future damage.

Because clearly Thor is too powerful to stop!

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  1. He’s got a Thor point on his thumb?

Archbishop given Trotsky treatment in Vatican photo after abuse claims

Posted on January 21st, 2014 at 15:52 by John Sinteur in category: Pastafarian News



It is the sort of practice normally expected of paranoid regimes such as North Korea, Mao’s China or the former Soviet Union, but a disgraced Polish archbishop who is being investigated for child sex abuse has been subjected to a Trotsky-style rubbing out in an official Catholic Church photo.

Archbishop Jozef Wesolowski served as a papal envoy in the Dominican Republic but was recalled to Rome last year amid claims that he sexually abused a number of children in the slums of Santo Domingo, the capital.

He appears to have been “purged” from a photograph of members of the bishops’ conference of the Caribbean country.

In the original picture, he appears smiling in the second row, wearing a dog collar, black vestments and a heavy crucifix.

But in the re-touched photograph, his head has been replaced by that of an emeritus bishop, Francisco José Arnáiz.

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Meanwhile in Quebec…

Posted on January 20th, 2014 at 23:52 by Sueyourdeveloper in category: News, Pastafarian News


A family’s controversial testimony during public hearings into Quebec’s secularism charter has brought widespread attention…

In her testimony, Genevieve Caron says she was stunned to see people on small rugs while they prayed in a Moroccan mosque.

“Praying on all fours on a carpet, what is that all about?” she asked.

She adds she was taken aback when she was asked to follow the custom of removing her shoes before entering the building.

I remember going to a well-known place of worship in Montreal,  seeing women dressed in black, climbing 100 steps on their knees. I was stunned. What is that all about?

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  1. There has to be some way to ensure people’s safety. I don’t think religious freedom trumps people’s safety. It’s just not that important to me. Some dogma is just plain nuts.

  2. @chas: This is about how elites will do anything to stay in power, including disturbing the sleeping dogs of ethnic insecurity and racial hatred, under the guise of protecting human rights.

    The Quebec government is probably going to lose the next election so they have invented a “problem” about how secularism is under attack in Quebec. They have now created a problem where bigoted individuals are targeting visible minorities and openly saying, “I don’t want non-white people here.”

    The people who are unsafe are the visible minorities, as usual. People who wear “religious” garb; headscarves, turbans, the kippah, are being explicitly told they are not welcome in Quebec.

  3. Well they sure took away our right to privacy in the name of security. I’d hate to think religion is giving anyone a free ride.

  4. “If they come for me in the morning, they will come for you in the night.”

UK storms are divine retribution for gay marriage laws, says Ukip councillor

Posted on January 19th, 2014 at 0:33 by Sueyourdeveloper in category: News, Pastafarian News


A UK Independence party councillor has claimed that Britain’s recent storms and floods are “divine retribution for the government’s decision to legalise gay marriage.”

No fire and brimstone, then? Your god’s suddenly gone soft on sodomy? Er…

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  1. If these fundamentalist asshats weren’t so influential, they would almost be funny…

  2. Right, ‘cos just look at how Denmark and Holland and Spain have been washed away into the sea by God’s vengeance.

  3. Oh dear. Now he’s fallen afoul of the party’s LGBT wing:


    Wait a minute…The UKIP have a LGBT wing?

  4. @Desiato: lol…I wish I’d said that…

Vatican grilled by UN over child abuse

Posted on January 17th, 2014 at 11:25 by John Sinteur in category: Pastafarian News


United Nations child protection experts have pushed Vatican delegates to reveal the scope of the decades-long sexual abuse of minors by Roman Catholic priests that Pope Francis called “the shame of the Church”.

The delegates, answering questions from an international rights panel for the first time since the scandals broke more than two decades ago, denied allegations of a Vatican cover-up and said it had set clear guidelines to protect children from predator priests.

But members of the UN Committee on the Rights of the Child, and abuse victims attending the session in Geneva, demanded far more transparency on crimes that have rocked the Church, from the United States to Europe and Australia.

I know the title doesn’t refer to literally grilling people over a fire, as the Vatican was more than happy to do when they were in power, but it did get my hopes up for a fraction of a second.

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  1. Boiling oil. That’s why they were called friars.

  2. @SueW — a crisp comment indeed.

Meanwhile, in a land far, far away…

Posted on January 15th, 2014 at 1:56 by Sueyourdeveloper in category: News, Pastafarian News

Pope denounces abortion as “horrific

I guess it was too good to last. Must be worried about his base.

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L. Ron Hubbard’s Great-Grandson Spills The Family Secrets On How Scientology Started. Eek.

Posted on January 10th, 2014 at 15:35 by John Sinteur in category: Pastafarian News

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  1. Chris Evans in his 1973 book, “Cults of Unreason”, speculated that religions arise from the reaction of people who can’t cope and need comfort in the prevailing culture. Lots of these cults get crushed or fail. Some become mainstream and conventional, even defining the new culture.

    We clearly need better anti-depressants.

  2. er, would that be because we can’t cope and need comfort in the prevailing culture?

  3. @porpentine: Yup. Better drugs. It could help the religion and prophets things as well.

Ex-Swiss guard complains of sexual advances in Vatican

Posted on January 10th, 2014 at 14:52 by John Sinteur in category: Pastafarian News


For almost 500 years, young men from all over Switzerland have made the trek to Rome to guard the pope as Swiss guards.

Now a former member of the elite division has revealed that, besides protecting the pontiff, he spent his two years in the Vatican rebuffing unwanted sexual advances from priests, bishops and even a high-ranking cardinal.

The unnamed guard told a Swiss newspaper that he was the subject of 20 “unambiguous sexual requests”.

“One night, after midnight, I received a call on my mobile phone,” said the former guard in the interview. “The person on the other end said he was a cardinal and he asked me to come to his room.”

On another occasion the guard, who said he served during the papacy of Pope John Paul II, found a bottle of whiskey outside his door alongside the calling card of an influential bishop.

He recalled a dinner with a priest in a Rome restaurant that took an unexpected turn.

“As the spinach and steak were served, the priest said to me: ‘And you are the dessert’,” recalled the ex-guard, saying he stood up and left without touching his food. When the guard complained about the incident to his superior in the guard, he said he was told that, as he spoke no Italian, he had clearly misunderstood the priest’s intentions.

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  1. Maybe the Swiss Guard doesn’t understand their mission, maybe it’s to keep the pedophiles contained.

Scottish bishops’ secret sex abuse file handed over to police

Posted on November 24th, 2013 at 22:42 by Sueyourdeveloper in category: Pastafarian News


A confidential file of letters from Scottish bishops detailing more than 20 secret abuse cases has been handed to police by a former safeguarding adviser to the Catholic church…

Draper, a former deputy director of social work and a retired senior lecturer in medical ethics, says that both the tone and substance of this weekend’s church statement on abuse confirmed his conviction that he should release the file: “It’s pious words. It says the church recognises the trauma and pain of survivors. How are they doing that? Where’s the evidence of justice and healing? They talk about supporting those who have been harmed. Where’s the support? If anyone attempts to sue the church, the attitude turns adversarial and the lawyers and insurance people say no.”

An insurance company that is prepared to insure the Catholic Church against allegations of sex abuse? I’d say that was a miracle!

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