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Pastor rants against another anti-gay pastor — because the second pastor doesn’t support killing gays.

Posted on April 17th, 2015 at 13:36 by John Sinteur in category: batshitinsane, Pastafarian News

And yet he cuts his hair, shaves his beard, wears clothes of different fabrics and works on Sunday…

But you know what, my gaydar beeps very loudly with this guy…

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  1. Isn’t there a law against incitement to murder? Why isn’t this a-hole in jail right now?

Biologists Confirm God Evolved From Chimpanzee Deity

Posted on April 13th, 2015 at 14:22 by John Sinteur in category: Pastafarian News


Challenging long-held views on the origins of divinity, biologists at the University of California, Berkeley, presented findings Thursday that confirm God, the Almighty Creator of the Universe, evolved from an ancient chimpanzee deity.

The recently discovered sacred ancestor, a divine chimp species scientists have named Pan sanctorum, reportedly gave rise over millions of years to the Lord Our God, Maker of Heaven and Earth.

“Although perhaps not obvious at first glance, there are actually overwhelming similarities between the Supreme Being of today and this early primate deity who preceded Him,” said Dr. Richard Kamen, a leading biologist who also heads Berkeley’s paleotheology department. “The holy chimp moved around on all fours, but its descendants eventually began walking upright to expend less energy while foraging across the infinite reaches of the universe. This of course led to the bipedalism of modern-day God.”

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  1. So, the original forbidden fruit was the banana?

Pope Francis Personally Rejected Gay French Ambassador

Posted on April 11th, 2015 at 13:24 by John Sinteur in category: Pastafarian News


“On 29 July 2013, the pope created a real enthusiasm in the gay community, who concluded Pope Francis was definitely more “friendly” than his predecessors when, on the plane to Rio, he made the comment, “If a person is gay, and sought the Lord with good will, who am I to judge?”

“France has just discovered the hard way that softening has its limits. It was “a decision by the pope himself,” a source inside the Vatican told Le Journal du Dimanche. The letter from the Archbishop of Paris, Cardinal André Vingt-Trois, which was presented to the Pope on February 11, which brought together Cardinals asking him to accept the French ambassador has not changed his decision. Jean-Louis Tauran, the Camerlengo of the Holy Church, also interceded on behalf of Stefanini. In vain. The pope told several cardinals he would not yield.”

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  1. About time all this “Ambassador to the Vatican” stuff was stopped, imo.

  2. They are probably looking for a pedo rather than a homo.


Posted on April 6th, 2015 at 10:19 by John Sinteur in category: Pastafarian News

Okay, I slept late, so I missed it guys… Did Jesus see his shadow this morning?

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  1. Yes he did, and that means six more years of Christians claiming “persecution” for not being allowed to discriminate. B

  2. He must have. It was a lovely, sunny day – today, not so much. I guess a cloud must have crossed over the sun while he was checking it out. :-)

  3. Is it too late to do the “Put me up for the weekend” joke again?

Mike Pence: There’s an Internet conspiracy to make Indiana seem like anti-gay bigots

Posted on March 31st, 2015 at 0:47 by John Sinteur in category: Boo hoo poor you, Pastafarian News


“I understand that there’s been a tremendous amount of misinformation and misunderstanding around this bill, and I’m just determined — and I appreciate the time on your program — I’m just determined to clarify this,” Pence told ABC’s George Stephanopolous.

“So this is a yes or no question,” the ABC host noted. “Is Advance America right when they say a florist in Indiana can now refuse to serve a gay couple without fear of punishment?”

Pence, however said that the purpose of the bill that he signed was to “empower” religious people.

And this was a pattern that would be repeated over the next 20 minutes: Stephanopolous asking if the bill allowed anti-LGBT discrimination, followed by Pence dodging the question.

There’s an internet conspiracy to make all anti-gay bigots look like anti-gay bigots, not just Indiana.

It’s called “The internet can be used to do research and report news.”

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  1. Religion, the father of all discrimination.

  2. Most of these fanatic ‘Anti-Gay’ lobbyists are gays themselves. Once in a while they get caught……

    There used to be a topic ‘If you’re in marketing, kill yourself’, can’t we extend it to ‘If you’re in marketing or a lobbyist, kill yourself’?

  3. @Yooo… now that you mention it, they do seem very “happy”. What is it about forbidden sex?

  4. Why not make it so that for a business to be able to have this apply, they have to change their name to include something like Christian, Baptist, etc. If they are going to run their company as it is an individual with religious rights, customers and employees should know that it is a for-profit company that applies a religious standard to everything. Then customers and suppliers can determine if they want to go there or not. Then the owners can determine which is more important, religion or capitalism.

  5. As an ardent follower of Matthew 6:6 it would place an undue burden on my business if the government forced me to do that Brian!

Priest sparks outrage at Melbourne primary school over comments relating to Jill Meagher’s rape and murder

Posted on March 28th, 2015 at 14:01 by John Sinteur in category: batshitinsane, Pastafarian News


A Catholic priest has sparked outrage at a primary school in Melbourne’s west over controversial comments he made about Jill Meagher’s death at an end-of-term service.

The priest reportedly held up a newspaper with Adrian Bayley’s face on it, before mentioning rape and murder to students, staff and about 100 other parishioners at St Christopher’s Primary School at Airport West on Friday.

The 3AW Drive program, presented by Tom Elliott, was told the priest then said that if Ms Meagher had been “more faith-filled” she “would have been home in bed” and “not walking down Sydney Rd at 3am” when she was raped and murdered by Bayley in September 2012.

Why do you never see one of these asshats say something like “if the rapist had been more faith-filled he would have been home in bed and not walking down Sydney Rd at 3am to rape her”?

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  1. Is it time yet to just give up on organized religion? At the very least, it should have warnings on it like cigarettes.

  2. @Chas – I like the idea of cigarette warning: “Following organized religion leads to severe stupidity and sheepish behavior. Habitual religious partaking can lead to you becoming cannon fodder and eventual death”

    Next, we need to address the issue of illness and death caused by second hand religious contact.

Muslim students sue medical univ. over male/female physical exams

Posted on March 25th, 2015 at 17:24 by John Sinteur in category: Pastafarian News


Two Muslim students have filed a case against Erasmus MC at the Board of Appeal for Higher Education in the Hague. Erasmus MC would not give these female students exemption for a practical part of the course practical clinical skills in which they would have to participate in a physical examination conducted by other students, AD reports.


“The students also have to experience how an examination feels for a patient. That promotes understanding.” Drexhage told the newspaper. According to him, students are aware that this component is required during enrollment.

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  1. Bye Bye. Leave standards as they are and fail to let her become a doctor. Better off for the population. What’s next, an exemption for giving vaccines because of religious objections? Strikes me religion has become the excuse du jour for all sorts of anti social behaviors and out right laziness and stupidity. Oh wait, I guess “du jour” is wrong, it has always been that way.

  2. Religious people are stupid people, and they act stupid. So what’s the big surprise here?

Pope Francis Credited With Performing ‘Miracle’ As St. Gennaro’s Blood Liquifies

Posted on March 25th, 2015 at 17:22 by John Sinteur in category: Pastafarian News


Pope Francis is being credited with a miracle — or at least a “half miracle” — after St. Gennaro’s blood liquified in his presence in Naples on Saturday.

The saint’s blood is usually dry inside of its sealed glass ampoule. However, after the pope kissed the relic, it began to turn to liquid.

“It is the sign that St. Gennaro loves Pope Francis: half of the blood turned to liquid,” Cardinal Crescenzo Sepe, archbishop of Naples, told the cheering crowd, according to Vatican Insider.

This property is called thixotrophy. See: The Blood of St. Januarius.

Even though this natural behavior is well documented, the blood of St. Gennaro is still hyped as “unexplained”.

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  1. So, are we going to end up with another St. Francis? How confusing will that be? Will GOD be able to tell which you are praying to? :-)

  2. Or, in other words, a conjuring trick.

  3. Will David Copperfield become a saint also?

Fire kills 7 children at home in New York – CNN.com

Posted on March 21st, 2015 at 18:14 by John Sinteur in category: Pastafarian News


“This is an unbelievable tragedy,” New York Mayor Bill de Blasio told reporters Saturday about a fire that killed seven children and seriously injured their mother and the children’s teenage sister in Brooklyn.

“It’s so painful, it’s so difficult . … Every New Yorker is feeling this pain right now,” de Blasio said after touring the site with fire officials early Saturday afternoon.

New York fire Commissioner Daniel Nigro said that, from what he can tell, the fire would have made it “impossible” for the mother to have left her second-floor room to collect her children in other rooms on the floor, Nigro said.


A “hot plate” keeping food warm in a kitchen overnight apparently started a fire that killed seven children in two-story house in Brooklyn early Saturday, New York City’s fire commissioner said.


The family apparently had been trying to keep food warm with a “hot plate” device, and an unspecified malfunction happened, Nigro said.

Nigro was asked why food was being warmed overnight.

“I believe it’s the Sabbath, and people keep food warm that way. They don’t have to operate a stove,” Nigro answered.

Stupid religious rules cause yet more death and suffering.

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  1. It’s unfortunate that people pay attention to what any religion says.

  2. A defective electrical device was the cause, not actually religion.

  3. except that electrical device would not even have been there if it weren’t for the “no work on sabbath” rules and their stupid silly loopholes

  4. I’m with Sue. The religion-hating is sometimes a bit overboard, John.

  5. I’m with John. The heater is an inanimate object. It’s tragically inappropriate use was motivated by lunatic religious beliefs and their consequent customs. QED.

  6. Yes, give religion a break. It’s only been crammed down people’s throats forever. It deserves a rest from criticism.

    Let’s criticize the government instead. That’s politically correct.

  7. I am with no body – actually it was the lack of smoke detectors (only on the basement) that is the culprit. If they had these, then they would have been warned as it smoldered for a while before taking off. That said, leaving a cooking appliance on unattended is batshit insane. (As an aside, where was the all knowing and loving god where hear so much about ….oh, wait, of course, god had some all knowing loving reason to take the lives and bring so much hurt on the surviving relatives.)

  8. All true; can’t really argue with all of that.

    It’s Spring, everyone. Change your smoke and CO detector batteries…

  9. I blame physics. If the flames of a fire would not be so hot and smoky, there would have not been any victims.

Catholic Church Claims It Can Refuse To Pay Victims Of Sex Abuse Because Of Religious Freedom

Posted on March 12th, 2015 at 11:11 by John Sinteur in category: Pastafarian News


The Catholic Archdiocese of Milwaukee sought to insulate $55 million of its funds from lawsuits brought by victims of priestly sex abuse, according to a letter penned by then-Archbishop of Milwaukee Timothy Dolan, so it transferred those funds into a separate trust set up to care for the archdiocese’s cemeteries and mausoleums. Once the sexual abuse victims sought those funds in a bankruptcy proceeding, however, the archdiocese claimed that it had a religious liberty right not to use that money to compensate victims of abuse.


At least 45 Milwaukee priests face allegations of sexual abuse, including one priest who was accused of molesting close to 200 deaf boys. The cemetery trust was created after the archdiocese agreed to a $17 million settlement involving ten victims who alleged that they were abused by priests in California, but the $55 million worth of funds were not transferred to that trust until after a Wisconsin Supreme Court decision which allowed other lawsuits by alleged victims of priestly abuse to move forward. Dolan, who is now a cardinal and the Archbishop of New York, wrote to the Vatican regarding the $55 million in funds that “[b]y transferring these assets to the Trust, I foresee an improved protection of these funds from any legal claim and liability.”

The archdiocese declared bankruptcy in 2011, in part due to the financial burden of the lawsuits brought by alleged abuse victims.

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  1. Words fail me. Freedom to Bugger?

  2. This is one of the reasons the “Catholic” Church should lose its tax-exempt status as a religious institution.

Bishop: Wrong for woman to ‘get back’ at rapists with abortion

Posted on March 10th, 2015 at 9:16 by John Sinteur in category: batshitinsane, Pastafarian News


Catholic Bishop Dr Kevin Doran has said it is wrong for a woman to get back at a rapist by having an abortion.

Yeah, because it really hurts the rapists having an abortion, and surely no other possible reason could motivate women to abort such a pregnancy.

Of course, forced marriage with the rapist is the only reasonable option, but only if her father still owns her. If he’s already sold her to her husband, you’ll have to execute her.

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  1. There are far too many men in beards and dresses telling women what to do or what not to do.

  2. Remind me when Catholics were last in the news for advocating forced marriage to a rapist?

  3. [Roman Catholic views on the Bible’s infallability and inerrancy]:

    Absolute inerrancy: Some Catholic theologians have claimed that, in its original autograph version, the Bible is inerrant — without error. This appears to be the consensus of popes, of most of the Catholic scholars and of other church leaders until the mid 20th century. This belief developed naturally from their conviction that God inspired the authors of the Bible. If God controlled the writers’ words directly or indirectly, then he would not have led them into error. Deceit and error are not normally attributes expected of God.

  4. @Desiato – remind me the last time the Catholic church came in support of abortion in case of rape or incest?

  5. @SueW – more broadly, There are too many in beards and dresses telling everyone what to do

Sam Harris rips academics who ceaselessly deny that religion can inspire brutal violence

Posted on March 5th, 2015 at 22:25 by John Sinteur in category: Pastafarian News


“No one doubts the political and economic justifications that people give for their behavior. When someone says, ‘Listen, I murdered my rich neighbor because I knew he kept a pile of money in a safe. I wanted that money, and I didn’t want to leave a witness,’ nobody looks for an ulterior explanation for that behavior,” he said.

“But when someone says, ‘I think infidels and apostates deserve to burn in hell, and I know for a fact that I’ll go to paradise if I die while waging jihad against them,’ many academics refuse to accept this rationale at face value and begin looking for the political or economic reasons that they imagine lie beneath it. So the game is rigged.”

The reason those academics refuse to believe the statements of a believer is that they are too committed to their secular understanding of the world to fully comprehend the power of belief.

But “once you imagine what it would be like to actually believe in paradise, and in martyrdom as the surest way of getting there, it becomes obvious why someone would want to join the Islamic State. If a person truly believes that the Creator of the universe wants him to wage war against the evil of unbelief and that the Islamic State is the very tip of His spear, he has to be insane not to join the cause.”

“I see no reason to think that most jihadis are psychologically abnormal,” Harris said. “The truth is far more depressing: These are mostly normal people — fully capable of love, empathy, altruism, and so forth — who simply believe what they say they believe.”

“The fact that most jihadis are generally rational, even psychologically normal, and merely in the grip of a dangerous belief system is, in my view, the most important point to get across.”

“It is amazing how resolutely people will ignore the evidence of this,” he concluded. “Justin Bieber could convert to Islam tomorrow, spend a full hour on 60 Minutes confessing his hopes for martyrdom and his certainty of paradise, and then join the Islamic State — and Glenn Greenwald would still say his actions had nothing to do with the doctrine of Islam and everything to do with U.S. foreign policy.”

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  1. How about it’s to do with the doctrine of Islam and U.S. foreign policy?

  2. It’s almost like we give them purpose by just being there. Maybe we need a policy change. My solution: Quarantine and Ignore. If someone wants to go there, it’s their problem.

  3. @Chas – Quarantine and Ignore? Didn’t work in Afghanistan. Will not work now. When someone believes that holy war should stop only when all believe as they do, well I need not say the consequences. I am for mandates that simply outlaw all forms organized worship of any sort. Do it in private. In the end it is an individual decision. Born alone, die alone.

  4. @Mykolas – an unholy war then?

  5. @Chas – unholy war? Wait, that isn’t that current U.S. Foreign Policy in the Middle East? Does not seem to doing much good. War does not effect what is needed: Education. Educate that the fairy tales for which you kill and die are just that, fairy tales. Of course, much much easier said than done.

  6. Take the Holy out of them? They rejected educated though a thousand years ago, because it wasn’t consistent with their religion.

  7. Yeah, you are correct on that point. Really not many good choices. “Ring fence and let em kill each other” (Quarantine and Ignore) takes a military commitment to enforce. Stopping the arms flow would be a good start, but then the world’s arms makers (merchants of death) would lobby against that.

Islamic State are religious perverts, just like IRA: Catholic cardinal

Posted on March 5th, 2015 at 14:19 by John Sinteur in category: Pastafarian News


One of the world’s leading Catholics has said he sees a close parallel between Islamic State and the IRA.

Well, if there’s one organization that knows a lot about religious perverts, it’s the Catholic Church..

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  1. Actually he was saying perversion of religion to further their goals. Oh wait, I guess the goal can he anything, boys, killing infidels, undermining governments. Oh never mind.

“Be Careful With Mohammed”: Muslim Action Forum launches “legal strategy” to stop publication of insults to Mohammed

Posted on March 4th, 2015 at 19:47 by John Sinteur in category: batshitinsane, Pastafarian News


The Muslim Action Forum (MAF), which staged a protest outside Downing Street against Charlie Hebdo in February, has launched a “legal strategy” to stop insults against Mohammed.

The organisation is also asking supporters to “lobby your MP” to make “Islamophobia” a criminal offence.

They state that they intend “to launch a series of legal challenges in the English Court system” because “depictions of our Holy Prophet peace be upon Him is the worst kind of ‘Hate Crime’ that can be perpetrated on the 3 million Muslims in the UK and 1.7 billion Muslims worldwide.”

So they are using your fairy tales to kill women, atheists, gays, and who knows what else in about half the countries where that filth has taken root, and the DARE claim that silly pictures of their precious pedophile are the worst kind of hate crime?

Go fuck yourselves.

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  1. I couldn’t agree more with the conclusion

  2. “Cut off their nuts!”

  3. Hey why stop there MAF? Call in the thought police while your at it. Give every suspect a polygraph test! Go f_ck yourself indeed.

  4. The last sentence, just three words long, is the best response to MAF. Thank you.

‘Pro Life’ GOPer Says It’s Fine For Kids to Die in the Name of God

Posted on February 27th, 2015 at 16:55 by John Sinteur in category: batshitinsane, Pastafarian News


In a deeply religious section of Idaho, a Republican state representative says that the state has no right to protect children from their parents who refuse them needed medical treatment in favor of faith healing.

“Children do die,” says Rep. Christy Perry. And it’s fine with her if Idaho children die in the name of God. Perry’s district includes many followers of a religious cult, Followers of Christ, that eschews medicine. She says that the sect’s members are more comfortable confronting death when it happens to their children.

“I’m not trying to sound callous, but [people calling for reform] want to act as if death is an anomaly. But it’s not. It’s a way of life,” she says.


On her website, Perry ironically proclaims that she’s “a pro life mother and grandmother and emphasizes her honor and value of all human life, born and unborn.” Perry also claims she’s “an ardent supporter of defending each child’s right to life.”

Terminating am embryo without a nervous system or therefore the ability to feel pain: worst thing in the world. Letting your grown child suffer slowly and die from an easily preventable disease: perfectly OK and within parents rights. Got it.

Perhaps we should declare all abortions to be done in the Name of God. After all, the bible has explicit instructions on how to perform abortions.

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What ISIS Really Wants

Posted on February 18th, 2015 at 20:02 by John Sinteur in category: batshitinsane, Pastafarian News


The reality is that the Islamic State is Islamic. Very Islamic. Yes, it has attracted psychopaths and adventure seekers, drawn largely from the disaffected populations of the Middle East and Europe. But the religion preached by its most ardent followers derives from coherent and even learned interpretations of Islam.

Virtually every major decision and law promulgated by the Islamic State adheres to what it calls, in its press and pronouncements, and on its billboards, license plates, stationery, and coins, “the Prophetic methodology,” which means following the prophecy and example of Muhammad, in punctilious detail. Muslims can reject the Islamic State; nearly all do. But pretending that it isn’t actually a religious, millenarian group, with theology that must be understood to be combatted, has already led the United States to underestimate it and back foolish schemes to counter it. We’ll need to get acquainted with the Islamic State’s intellectual genealogy if we are to react in a way that will not strengthen it, but instead help it self-immolate in its own excessive zeal.

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S.F. archbishop’s imposition of morality clause at schools outrages many

Posted on February 13th, 2015 at 13:43 by John Sinteur in category: Pastafarian News


San Francisco Archbishop Salvatore J. Cordileone sparked a protest last summer when he ignored pleas from public officials to cancel his plans to march in Washington, D.C., against same-sex marriage.

Now Cordileone has prompted fresh outrage in the liberal Bay Area by imposing morality clauses on teachers, staff and administrators at the four high schools under his control in San Francisco, Marin and San Mateo counties.

A newly released handbook asks the nearly 500 school employees to “affirm and believe” that “adultery, masturbation, fornication, the viewing of pornography and homosexual relations” are “gravely evil.” Artificial-reproductive technology, contraception and abortion are described similarly.


Cordileone’s stand has elicited opposition at the high schools, especially from students, who have taken to Twitter with the hashtag #teachacceptance and on Monday wore white in solidarity with teachers.

Listen guys, here’s an idea. How about you write up a list of everything wrong with the church and then maybe nail it to the front door of their church so everyone can read it.

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Report: Leading Cause Of Death In U.S. Is God Needing Another Angel

Posted on February 13th, 2015 at 13:12 by John Sinteur in category: Pastafarian News

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‘Jesus Take the Wheel Act’ passes House

Posted on February 8th, 2015 at 0:28 by John Sinteur in category: batshitinsane, Pastafarian News


House members on Thursday passed a bill exempting mid-sized church buses from the state’s commercial driver’s license requirements, prompting one lawmaker to call it the “Jesus Take the Wheel Act.”

The bill, HB 132, would help congregations lacking a CDL-certified driver transport up to 30 passengers in a church-owned vehicle. Although applying equally to all churches, it’s primarily aimed at smaller congregations with fewer members and financial resources.

It now heads to the Senate for consideration.

“This just allows small churches, some don’t have people with commercial licenses at all, and they can pick a person to drive the bus,” said state Rep. Robert Johnson III, D-Natchez, who chairs the Transportation Committee which had passed the bill earlier in the session.

Current law requires CDL-certified drivers for any vehicle transporting more than 16 passengers, including the driver. The bill would amend that law to exempt church buses designed to carry 30 passengers or less.

As an ordained minister in the Church of the FSM, how do I go about applying for this exemption so I can drive a schoolbus full of my drunk congregation around town from “sacred nectar dispensary” to the next “sacred nectar dispensary”?

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  1. Oh, c’mon. Be sporting and let the Devil drive!

Scientists pledge to increase interference with the Church

Posted on February 4th, 2015 at 16:22 by John Sinteur in category: Pastafarian News


The Federation for Furthering Science (FFS) has promised to intervene with any and all religious issues it can find that could benefit from some “scientific perspective”.

Dr Hugh Briss, spokesperson for FFS, explained the motivation for this policy.

“While they’re often at each other’s throats in other countries like the US, in the UK religion and science have mostly maintained an uneasy peace, largely by both ignoring whatever the other is doing (with some notable exceptions).

“But this interjection in approving a procedure that’s been extensively studied and refined by world-leading experts over several years on very questionable grounds? Well, that’s what we call a “bad precedent”. So if representatives of the churches are allowed to do that, then logically we as representatives of science are allowed to do the same? Or is that “persecution”?

Some of the objections raised by the Church have come under particular scrutiny from FFS, such as the accusation that mitochondrial donation will result in “three-parent families”.

“Even if that was true, which is isn’t, at no point has it ever been explained why this is an especially bad thing,” Dr Briss pointed out. “Seriously though; why is a three-parent family such a negative? Is it in the Bible? Wasn’t Jesus himself the result of a three-parent family? Or did I get the wrong idea there? I don’t see how you can tell people that two parents is the only thing permissible while insisting they call God “our father”, but maybe it’s just me”.

Another objection raised by the Church of England is that there is not 100% scientific certainty that the procedure will work and is safe. Another member of FFS, Dr Black (first name Potkettle) says she looked forward to applying these same stringent requirements to the policies and practices of the church.

“I’ve already produced a new version of the Bible that leaves out anything that can’t be 100% confirmed by science. It’s much more streamlined now, which is handy as you can fit it all on a postcard and mail it to people, rather than going door-to-door”.

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  1. FFS? Oh, please…

Montana pastor to lawmakers: We discriminate against incest, why not gay people?

Posted on February 3rd, 2015 at 12:44 by John Sinteur in category: Pastafarian News


Boettger said he wanted to address a topic that he had not heard addressed during the hearing.

“We do, as a culture and as a people, discriminate against behavior, and whether it is voluntary, innate, in-born, a choice, it is really not relevant to the point that it is indeed behavior,” he explained. “For instance, we discriminate against incest. We discriminate against child molestation. We discriminate against a long list of behaviors that have long been believed to be wrong.”

Boettger said he didn’t understand why anyone would want to protect LGBT people from discrimination.

Religious leaders can’t seem to understand the concept of “consent”, which might also explain why they keep raping children.

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  1. You know you’re a redneck when you appear in front of a legislative hearing wearing nothing but long underwear.

  2. Bad choice of title given that incest can be consensual.

Jim Jeffries

Posted on February 2nd, 2015 at 20:08 by John Sinteur in category: Pastafarian News

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Wait, let me get my surprised face…

Posted on February 2nd, 2015 at 19:44 by John Sinteur in category: batshitinsane, Pastafarian News


James David Manning, who is pastor at ATLAH Missionary Church in Harlem, New York, said last year that i t was ‘the absolute truth’ that Starbucks flavoured their drinks with the ‘semen of sodomites’

And speaking on the Young Turks, Manning admitted that despite his vehement homophobia, he has been tempted himself by the gay lifestyle.

Pastor: “OMG, there’s SEMEN in this latte!!!”

Starbucks: “No, sir, there’s no semen in our lattes.”

Pastor: “…Could there be?”

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  1. OK, let’s do the math. Or maybe not. Sorry.

Woman Who Vandalized Satanic Display in Florida Capitol Says Being Punished Would Be an Attack on Her Faith

Posted on January 31st, 2015 at 12:51 by John Sinteur in category: batshitinsane, Pastafarian News


Last month, we learned that The Satanic Temple’s display in the Florida State Capitol Building had been vandalized.

It turned out that the vandal was Susan Hemeryck, a 54-year-old Tea Party activist who wore a shirt with the phrase “Catholic Warrior” on it.


“We are not sure there was a crime,” Hemeryck’s attorney Mike Bauer said. “I think this case represents the state basically putting an attack on Christians. That would be her viewpoint.”

By this logic, the Klansman lynching an immigrant or African-American may not be committing a crime, as he may feel that his own culture is under assault by encroaching outsiders.

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  1. Oh dear, someone’s off her meds again. If it wasn’t for this quick thinking lawyer she would be fined $25, have to agree to keep the peace for a year* and be on her way to the next T.P. rally.

    *Or your local equivalent for annoying and time wasting nutters who get brought up before the court.

  2. Sigh. And when the court agrees with her, there will be a defense for others attacking Ten Commandments monuments and nativity scenes.

    I’ll see your nut job and raise you three.

Stephen Fry on God | The Meaning Of Life

Posted on January 30th, 2015 at 13:55 by John Sinteur in category: Pastafarian News

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  1. What’s the difference between Stephen Fry and god?

  2. I love the look on the interviewer’s face.

The real agenda for the forced-birth March for Life crowd in one creepy tweet

Posted on January 23rd, 2015 at 19:57 by John Sinteur in category: Pastafarian News


Those tramps. Those harlots. The trollops. Those long lean thighs….

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  1. Yoga pants! It’s like two hardboiled eggs in a bag, I tell ya!

Should human rights always outweigh religious rights?

Posted on January 17th, 2015 at 18:27 by John Sinteur in category: batshitinsane, Pastafarian News

The mental gymnastics that are needed to reach the conclusions of most religious folk in that debate/dialogue is maddening. They want the right to wear a hijab but deny the right to wear a t-shirt, and they utterly fail to see the problem..

Majid Nawaz even got death threats for saying that he was not offended.

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  1. Human rights MUST prevail! All religions disagree just about everything, so which is going to prevail? As far as I’m concerned, religions and religious demonstrations should be banned in public. Let people practice in private whatever/however they want, but LEAVE ME OUT OF YOUR CRAP!

  2. And, it’s about time the US government gets off the fence. There is no middle ground! Quit doing business with dictators and royal pain in the asses.

  3. “Inalienable human rights”. What do they not fucking get?

  4. Agree. Why is their even a debate? Reason: Education failure; Religious indoctrination. Organized religions are like mafias, actually worse, and should be treated as such. As Spaceman said, practice in private and keep it out of politics and law.

  5. Best of friends, a Christian, a Muslim, a Jew, a Buddhist, an agnostic and an atheist walked into their local, The Garden of Eden.

    After many rounds of drinks a fight started (it was the agnostic’s round, although he claimed it wasn’t because the Muslim was only drinking Coke).

    Observing the chaos, the publican loudly rang the closing bell – the fighters stopped and stared at him.

    The publican said, “I created the world in seven days and now I hafta deal with this! You’re all barred! Get out!”

    There was a wailing and a gnashing of teeth. Sorrowing, they went on their way.

  6. Sue, maybe if he had taken a little more time?

‘Boy Who Came Back From Heaven’ going back to publisher

Posted on January 16th, 2015 at 10:59 by John Sinteur in category: Pastafarian News


Tyndale House, a major Christian publisher, has announced that it will stop selling “The Boy Who Came Back From Heaven,” by Alex Malarkey and his father, Kevin Malarkey.

The best-selling book, first published in 2010, describes what Alex experienced while he lay in a coma after a car accident when he was 6 years old. The coma lasted two months, and his injuries left him paralyzed, but the subsequent spiritual memoir — with its assuring description of “Miracles, Angels, and Life beyond This World” — became part of a popular genre of “heavenly tourism,” which has been controversial among orthodox Christians.

Earlier this week, Alex recanted his testimony about the afterlife. In an open letter to Christian bookstores posted on the Pulpit and Pen Web site, Alex states flatly: “I did not die. I did not go to Heaven.”

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  1. Another fraud based on religion. Shocking. I’m glad I can still find the truth in the Bible and Koran (snark).

  2. I was going to ask whether he would be giving the money back. Then I read that he wasn’t receiving money from the book and it became clear that the christian publishing industry is just as exploitative as any 3rd world sweatshop.

  3. I just noted one thing: Malarkey!

  4. Gareth, they’ve been ripping off GOD for over 2,000 years. Imagine what his royalties would have been.

Pope Francis on Freedom of Speech: ‘One Cannot Make Fun of Faith’

Posted on January 15th, 2015 at 19:50 by John Sinteur in category: Pastafarian News


Pope Francis suggested there are limits to freedom of expression, saying in response to the Charlie Hebdo terror attack that “one cannot make fun of faith” and that anyone who throws insults can expect a “punch.”


To illustrate his point, he joked about Vatican aide Alberto Gasparri who was standing nearby on the plane.

“It’s true that we can’t react violently, but, for example if Dr. Gasbarri here, a great friend of mine, says a curse word against my mother, then a punch awaits him,” the pontiff said.

All it really illustrates, Francis, is that you are a petty, small-minded person.

Matthew 5:39

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  1. Wait, Francis, a punch is a non violent act. Another f_cking hypocritical religious asshole.

  2. Previous Pontiffs have done more global harm in fewer words while staying on-message – Francis’s previous statements have made it clear that he cares more about people than about purity of faith.

    Here, he seems to be saying that it’s human nature to react violently to a perceived attack on something held dear. It was likely intended as a caution against blasphemy just to annoy others, like shouting “FIRE!” in a crowded cathedral. It’s a pity that he didn’t take it a step further to say that the moral response is to seek reconciliation rather than recompense: instead, he presented a parable in which he (the Pope!) would commit violence. Given that he’s held to be infallible, that’s implicitly preaching violence.

    Okay, suddenly I agree with Mykolas. :-(

  3. I believe that we not only have the right to mock some things that people believe but we also have an obligation to do so.

    So the pope has violated my beliefs by saying that we don’t have that right. Does that give me the right to punch him in the face?

  4. Alright, that punching bit is a really odd thing for this Pope to say. Odd enough to make you wonder if it was translated right.

    Now I know this Pope isn’t perfect and I know he hasn’t acted on the child abuse issues in the way we would hope. But John, the way you seem determined to find fault with this otherwise remarkable character actually makes *you* look petty and small-minded. Look at the big picture. Look at the direction of change.

  5. What direction? No Catholic doctrine changed: attitude towards important stuff like women’s rights, contraception condoms, homosexuality, nothing is changing at all. All I see is a lot of slick PR, and in this particular interview he showed how shallow he really is.

  6. “Religion is an idea, and, as an idea, it should be eligible for criticism, discussion, and yes, mockery. The only reason so many believers demand special exceptions be made for religious ideas is because they know full well that their ideas don’t hold up well under scrutiny.

    -Amanda Marcotte

    Draw your conclusions on what the pope really believes….

  7. I’m more than willing to concede that this pope is better than his predecessor, in kind of the same way that an E. coli infection is better than an E. coli infection and accidentally chopping off your hand with a chainsaw.

  8. @Mudak: There are E. coli and then there are E. coli that can kill you.

    Ol’ Frankie there is a Jesuit. I seem to think they don’t do turning the other cheek (except for that terrible joke about altar boys).

  9. I gotta say, the new comments about “breeding like rabbits” are awkward but the B.S. about “outside [i.e. non-religions socially progressive] groups should not meddle in people’s values” stuff is so hypocritical from a Jesuit that it made my head kersplode.

  10. @Desiato: If I want to persuade his customers to join my entertainment complex and he forbids them to (on pain of eternal penalty payments) isn’t that anti-competitive behaviour? Can I take him to the WTO?

Saudi cleric condemns …….. as anti-Islamic

Posted on January 12th, 2015 at 15:33 by John Sinteur in category: batshitinsane, Pastafarian News

Is it A) terrorism; B) child marriage; or C) building snowmen for fun?

Check your guess here.

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