Kenyan lawyer Dola Indidis is on a mission: to get the International Court of Justice at the Hague to overturn the conviction and death sentence of Jesus Christ 2,000 years ago.
The logistics, however, are proving a challenge. The target of his lawsuit are the government and religious leaders of Jesus’ day, including the Roman Emperor Tiberius, the Roman King Herod, the Judean Governor Pontius Pilate, as well as the Jewish chief priest, elders and teachers of the law. According to some reports, he also plans to go after the current governments of Italy and Israel, arguing that they inherited laws from the Roman Empire.
“I filed the case because it’s my duty to uphold the dignity of Jesus and I have gone to the ICJ to seek justice for the man from Nazareth,” Indidis told the Nairobian. “His selective and malicious prosecution violated his human rights through judicial misconduct, abuse of office bias and prejudice.”
Apparently there’s no statute of limitations on stupidity.
John Smith was the only Protestant to move into a large Catholic neighbourhood.
On the first Friday of Lent, John was outside grilling a big juicy steak on his grill. Meanwhile, all of his neighbours were eating cold tuna fish for supper.
This went on each Friday of Lent. On the last Friday of Lent, the neighbourhood men got together and decided that something had to be done about John, he was tempting them to eat meat each Friday of Lent, and they couldn’t take it anymore.
They decided to try and convert John to be a Catholic. They went over and talked to him and were so happy that he decided to join all of his neighbours and become a Catholic. They took him to church, and the Priest sprinkled some water over him and said “You were born a Baptist, you were raised a Baptist, and now you are a Catholic”.
The men were so relieved, now their biggest Lenten temptation was resolved.
The next year’s Lenten season rolled around. The first Friday of Lent came, and just at supper time, when the neighbourhood was sitting down to their tuna fish dinner, came the wafting smell of steak cooking on a grill.
The neighbourhood men could not believe their noses! WHAT WAS GOING ON? They called each other up and decided to meet over in John’s yard to see if he had forgotten it was the first Friday of Lent?
The group arrived just in time to see John standing over his grill with a small pitcher of water. He was sprinkling some water over his steak on the grill, saying “You were born a cow, you were raised a cow, and now you are a fish”.
Here’s the thing: if someone is a malicious ideologue, I much prefer that they be open about their maliciousness and their unwavering commitment to a rigid and regressive ideology. Francis doesn’t do that, though. He couches his callousness in pseudo-tolerant and pseudo-progressive rhetoric and hides his dangerous attitudes and beliefs behind a facade of avuncular populist everyman friendliness. And people (not just Catholics) are eating it up, buying into it, proclaiming that Francis is A Different Kind of Pope, one who will change the Church, modernize the Church, make the Church into a progressive entity (needless to say (I hope), none of these proclamations hold up under even the mildest of scrutiny).
If you buy into Pope Francis’s pseudo-tolerant & pseudo-progressive rhetoric, you’re gullible (it happens. It’s a very human trait and a trap we all fall into from time to time, no matter how smart and/or skeptical we are), wilfully ignorant (a form of maliciousness that I have no sympathy for (see the ‘willful’ part)), or committed to the same rigid and backwards ideology that Francis is.
Francis is manipulative. He’s a skilled abuser of rhetoric who knows how to say the “right” things at the “right” time. He’s good PR for the Church. Unlike his immediate predecessors, he’s neither an intellectual nor extremely intelligent. But he’s sly like a fox. He’s a gift to the Church, a perfect Pope for the Catholic Church of 2013.
Pope Francis spoke the language of Brazil’s soccer-mad youth Saturday, telling them that being a good Catholic is like training to play soccer.
You mean you run around pointlessly for half an hour and dribble a lot?
Seconds before the Spanish train he was aboard lifted off the tracks “like a roller coaster,” Mormon missionary Stephen Ward said he glanced up from the journal he was writing and noticed a backpack tumble from a rack. Moments later, he blacked out as the train smashed into a concrete wall at high speed.
He awoke to a scene that seemed like a nightmare.
“From a religious standpoint, I’d like to say that God has something in store for me and that there’s a reason I’m still here,” Stephen Ward said in a phone interview with The Associated Press from La Coruna, Spain.
And those other 80 people? His god is a major asshole.
On this Monday, 22 July, Brazilian police have used tear gas and water cannons to disperse hundreds of protesters in Rio de Janeiro rallying against the vast amount of public funds spent on Pope Francis’ visit to the country. Read more: The Guardian.
The demonstration was held on Monday near the Rio state governor’s palace after a meeting there between the pope and Brazil’s President Dilma Rousseff. One photographer suffered a head injury after being clubbed by a riot police officer and at least five protesters were arrested, included two jornalists from the media known as “ninja media” – a group of activists who use handheld cameras to publicize videos with the truth of the protests in Brazil on the Internet about the cop violence and corruption in government.
“I have neither silver nor gold, but I bring with me the most precious thing given to me: Jesus Christ.”
There you have it, Brazil, you really have to pay for this visit, the Pope has no silver or gold. In fact, the Vatican is notoriously poor, due to their long-standing reluctance to horde wealth, their lack of interest in earthly treasure, and their long-standing tradition of dispersing any property they acquire to the poor. So you’d better all stop your protests for more bread and less circus.
According to the new laws, revealing or receiving confidential Vatican information is now punishable by up to two years in prison, while newly defined sex crimes against children carry a sentence of up to twelve years. Because all sex crimes are kept confidential, there is no longer a legal way for Vatican officials to report sex crimes.
“We didn’t mean for this to happen, obviously,” lamented Vatican foreign minister Monsignor Dominique Mamberti. Mamberti said that the simultaneous passing of each law is merely a coincidence and insisted that the Church is not trying to protect itself against further embarrassment, but critics outside the Vatican are skeptical.
“They know exactly what they’re doing,” claims Fabrizio Perona of Italy’s La Repubblica newspaper. “They just thought nobody would notice. The Church wants to impress the world by getting tough on sex crimes, but they criminalized leaks, which is the only way anybody would ever discover their crimes. It’s genius, if you stop and think about it.”
When fellow believers in Sweden first began coming to him with information from the Internet that contradicted the church’s history and teachings, he dismissed it as “anti-Mormon propaganda,” the whisperings of Lucifer. He asked his superiors for help in responding to the members’ doubts, and when they seemed to only sidestep the questions, Mr. Mattsson began his own investigation.
But when he discovered credible evidence that the church’s founder, Joseph Smith, was a polygamist and that the Book of Mormon and other scriptures were rife with historical anomalies, Mr. Mattsson said he felt that the foundation on which he had built his life began to crumble.
Around the world and in the United States, where the faith was founded, the Mormon Church is grappling with a wave of doubt and disillusionment among members who encountered information on the Internet that sabotaged what they were taught about their faith, according to interviews with dozens of Mormons and those who study the church.
“I felt like I had an earthquake under my feet,” said Mr. Mattsson, now an emeritus area authority. “Everything I’d been taught, everything I’d been proud to preach about and witness about just crumbled under my feet. It was such a terrible psychological and nearly physical disturbance.”
Information, knowledge, and education are dangerous. I wonder if there have ever been instances of religions attempting to keep them from people.
Nah, religion is about truth and honor and doing right in the eyes of your deity/is, it’s not about power or control.
“I don’t want to hurt the church,” Mr. Mattsson said. “I just want the truth.”
Well, that’s going to be a problem – you’ll have to pick just one.
In its latest attempt to keep up with the times the Vatican has married one of its oldest traditions to the world of social media by offering “indulgences” to followers of Pope Francis’ tweets.
The church’s granted indulgences reduce the time Catholics believe they will have to spend in purgatory after they have confessed and been absolved of their sins.
The remissions got a bad name in the Middle Ages because unscrupulous churchmen sold them for large sums of money. But now indulgences are being applied to the 21st century.
“That includes following Twitter,” said a source at the penitentiary, referring to Pope Francis’ Twitter account, which has gathered seven million followers. “But you must be following the events live. It is not as if you can get an indulgence by chatting on the internet.”
In its decree, the penitentiary said that getting an indulgence would hinge on the beneficiary having previously confessed and being “truly penitent and contrite”.
Praying while following events in Rio online would need to be carried out with “requisite devotion”, it suggested.
Apart from the papal Twitter account, the Vatican has launched an online news portal supported by an app, a Facebook page, and it plans to use the online social networking site Pinterest.
“What really counts is that the tweets the Pope sends from Brazil or the photos of the Catholic World Youth Day that go up on Pinterest produce authentic spiritual fruit in the hearts of everyone,” said Celli.
The Kansas City-St. Joseph Diocese has settled a wrongful-death lawsuit for $2.25 million with the parents of a boy who allegedly took his own life 30 years ago because of repeated sexual abuse by a Kansas City priest.
The settlement — the largest ever for the diocese in a single priest sexual abuse lawsuit — came on Monday afternoon as jury selection was underway for the trial in Jackson County Circuit Court in Independence.
The guy has a Youtube channel…
Rabbi Efraim Zalmanovich, a prominent orthodox Israeli rabbi, has issued a religious ruling declaring that medical marijuana is kosher.
In his statement, Zalmanovich said that a religious Jew may use marijuana if it is prescribed for pain or to treat symptoms, an assertion that makes smoking medical marijuana a religious commandment.
Pope Francis cleared the way for his canonisation, expected later this year, after a second miracle was attributed to the late pontiff’s intervention.
Absent in the list of miracles: stopping bullets, stopping child molesters..
(and, as usual, the Onion had the story two years ago)
Belfast Crown Court heard that the boy was quite distressed about his grandfather being in purgatory but that 55-year-old James Martin Donaghy told the child “he could get him into haven if he helped him” and performed a sex act.
Last month just before his trial was due to begin Donaghy, originally from Lady Wallace Drive in Lisburn but now languishing in Magilligan prison, pleaded guilty to four charges of indecently assaulting the boy and one of common assault against the schoolboy on dates between January and May 1989.
In a major turning point in its nearly 3-year-old bankruptcy, the Archdiocese of Milwaukee on Monday is scheduled to make public thousands of pages of documents detailing the sexual abuse of minors by priests going back decades, and what church leaders did — and did not do — in response.
The records will contain parts of 42 priests’ personnel files as well as depositions of former Archbishop Timothy Dolan, now cardinal of New York; retired Archbishop Rembert Weakland; retired Bishop Richard Sklba; and now-defrocked priest Daniel Budzynski.
Most of the information, which is being released as part of an agreement in the archdiocese’s bankruptcy proceedings, has never been seen publicly.
“Needless to say, there are some terrible things described in many of the documents,” Archbishop Jerome Listecki said in his weekly letter to local Catholics in advance of the release. To those deciding to read the files, Listecki advised, “prepare to be shocked.”
Chelsea and her husband Clint, who asked that I use only their first names, belong to a small subculture of religious couples who practice “Christian Domestic Discipline,” a lifestyle that calls for a wife to be completely submissive to her husband. Referred to as CDD by its followers, the practice often includes spanking and other types corporal punishments administered by husbands—and ostensibly ordained by God. While the private nature of the discipline makes it difficult to estimate the number of adherents, activity in several online forums suggests a figure in the low thousands. Devotees call CDD an alternative lifestyle and enthusiastically sing its praises; for critics, it’s nothing but domestic abuse by another name.
Pope Francis is reported to have acknowledged the existence of a “gay lobby” inside the Vatican.
He also said there was a “stream of corruption”, according to reports in Catholic media.
Time for yer whipping, Frawncis?
Franklin Graham, the son of Billy Graham (and tarnisher of his legacy), wrote an article asking “Is Our Nation Intolerant of Christianity?”
The very first line in the piece goes like this:
Recently I was at a White House meeting with Vice President Joe Biden…
Stop. Just stop. You’ve already disproven your thesis in the first sentence.
If you get to have a meeting with the Vice President of the United States, I think it’s safe to say you’re doing just fine.
When those meetings are closed off to you because it might be political suicide to be seen in public with a Christian leader, then we’ll talk, okay Franklin?
The first incident, in February, involved Gresham’s Sweet Cakes by Melissa, whose owner told a lesbian couple that “we don’t do same-sex marriages.” Earlier this month, Pam Regentin, who operates Fleur Cakes out of her home in the Hood River area, also refused to make a cake for a lesbian couple’s wedding.
Both bakeries cited their religious beliefs as the reason they would not make the cakes. Both describe themselves as Christian.
We wondered what other requests these cakemakers would decline to honor. So last week five WW reporters called these two bakeries anonymously to get price quotes for other occasions frowned upon by some Christians. Surprisingly, the people who answered the phone at each bakery were quite willing to provide baked goods for celebrations of divorces, unmarried parents, stem-cell research, non-kosher barbecues and pagan solstice parties.
Response from one of the cake makers:
#It saddens me to see the lack of care, concern and discourse with our fellow human beings in our modern world. The disconnect that the internet provides these hateful attackers allows them to say horrific things to me and about me with little regard for the fact that we are all humans and we are all the same.
Except the Gays, of course. Somebody giver her a mirror.
For centuries, the church has maintained a second set of books containing sensitive documents such as notes on priests’ alcohol abuse, disputes over parish funds and, later, molestation allegations.
Bryan Fischer of the Christian conservative American Family Association (AFA) gave the Boy Scouts the nickname “Boy Sodomizers of America” after the organization agreed to drop its ban on openly gay youth.
I am confused. How can he mistake boy scouts for catholic priests?
North Miami’s unpredictable election exploits entered the final day on a divine note: a mayoral candidate claiming she was endorsed by Jesus Christ.
Anna Pierre, who previously said she was a victim of Vodou sorcery, posted the message in a campaign-style flier featured on her Facebook page.
Reached on Monday, Pierre said Jesus came to her in a dream.
“I had a revelation when I was going to give up on this race. I had a dream. I know what I saw,” she said. “A figure I can’t explain told me, ‘Don’t be afraid. I am your friend. I am walking with you side by side. You are not alone.’ I felt it was from heaven. It was an endorsement by Jesus.”
Unfortunately, Jesus was one of only 56 people who voted for Pierre. Matthew Tharrett from Queerty reported that she lost to all six of the other candidates, including the suburb’s openly gay former mayor, Kevin Burns.
“Instead,” the Pope continued, “the Lord has created us in His image and likeness, and has given us this commandment in the depths of our heart: do good and do not do evil”:
“The Lord has redeemed all of us, all of us, with the Blood of Christ: all of us, not just Catholics. Everyone! ‘Father, the atheists?’ Even the atheists. Everyone! And this Blood makes us children of God of the first class! We are created children in the likeness of God and the Blood of Christ has redeemed us all! And we all have a duty to do good. And this commandment for everyone to do good, I think, is a beautiful path towards peace. If we, each doing our own part, if we do good to others, if we meet there, doing good, and we go slowly, gently, little by little, we will make that culture of encounter: we need that so much. We must meet one another doing good. ‘But I don’t believe, Father, I am an atheist!’ But do good: we will meet one another there.”
So, Francis – are you telling me the Church renounces its policy of Extra Ecclesiam nulla salus?